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Original poster

If your parents are well off...

150 replies

Mamabeemer · 08/08/2020 21:13

Do you get an allowance? Or holidays/car type things paid for?

Following a discussion with a friend who thinks this is what everyone who’s ‘from money’ does.

OP posts:

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/08/2020 21:15

My dad is very wealthy. He enjoys his money - holidays, huge house and garden, wine. The thought of taking an allowance as an adult is laughable. Dad worked hard for his money, good for him.

coconutwhip · 08/08/2020 21:16

I don't know how 'well off' I count as buy my parents paid my car insurance till I was in a stable relationship and started renting. They also paid my phone until this point.
They brought my brother a car and still pay for his insurance, phone etc and he's much older than what I was.

FinnyStory · 08/08/2020 21:18

I think it probably is usual among the very wealthy. I once worked with a woman who most definitely wasn't paying for her "independent" lifestyle on the salary we earned.

My parents are very well to do and do help occasionally with things like a contribution to building works, which is gratefully received but never expected or asked for.

Bitchinkitchen · 08/08/2020 21:20

My parents are very well off. I haven't recieved an allowance since i started working. Dad will slip me £100 every now and then if I'm going on holiday, he bought me a car many years ago, and has helped with deposit and renovations for the house, and if i were desperate he'd help me, but he absolutely would not give me an allowance. Nor would i ask for one.

42daystogo · 08/08/2020 21:20

It's interesting, im not from a wealthy family, my dad bought my first car, old banger for £800 because he said it on a whim and i held him to it. They never paid for anything else and i never expected them. Sometimes its easy to assume everyone is in the same boat, i think i would find it weird accepting money from my parents as an adult yet i would to be financially well off enough to help out my children

42daystogo · 08/08/2020 21:21

*i would love to be financially well off enough to help my children when theyre older

Amber0685 · 08/08/2020 21:23

If my parents who live in Australia invite us on holiday with them they pay, not much else. I don't know anyone my age, 43, who gets an 'allowance'

ThisIsNotARealAvo · 08/08/2020 21:25

I don't get an allowance but I think one of the advantages of being from a well off family is that you are less likely to have eg student debt and often have help for things like mortgages and cars. My parents don't give me money regularly but they've helped with big purchases and gave a massive house deposit to my brother.

imissthesouth · 08/08/2020 21:27

My parents are quite wealthy, not billionaire level but very successful. I would never feel comfortable in them giving me an allowance or paying for things. I earn my own money and as soon as I moved out they stopped paying for everything. The same will happen for my children unless they're in dire circumstances (eg facing homelessness)

DramaAlpaca · 08/08/2020 21:28

My parents are what I'd describe as very comfortably off but neither of them came from money. It's all come from very hard work, wise investments and a few strokes of luck along the way.

My sibling and I have each been given a house deposit and had our first cars bought for us for which we are very grateful as it got us started. Since then we've both stood on our own two feet and supported ourselves. We've had a couple of holidays paid for, but there have certainly been no allowances. My DM occasionally sends me a generous cheque, which is very kind of her, but I don't expect it and have never asked for it.

BackforGood · 08/08/2020 21:30

Don't think she was well off, but dh's Grandma continued to put aside 50p a week for each of her Grandchildren until she died, when he was 30

Trashtara · 08/08/2020 21:31

No, I don't get an allowance. Got a car at 18, and a deposit for a house at 26 (when I told him.i was putting an offer on a house- I'd already saved my deposit and he matched it). He gave me some money for my wedding.

If I asked for money he'd give it me. But I don't ask.

SparklingLime · 08/08/2020 21:32

@BackforGood

Don't think she was well off, but dh's Grandma continued to put aside 50p a week for each of her Grandchildren until she died, when he was 30

That’s adorable!! 💙

Lockdowners · 08/08/2020 21:33

Mine are not super rich but well off. They paid for my accommodation and fees at uni. They have offered me money for my wedding and a house deposit ( I did not ask for or expect either but accepted)

justdontatme · 08/08/2020 21:33

Hmm, I would describe my parents as well off, they’ve given me a lot of money over the years, paid for me entirely through uni, in fact we lived rent free in their London flat until DC1 was 3. But never had an allowance from them, & I don’t think my friends from similar backgrounds do either... suppose I might not know!

Only friend I know who has something like this had a trust fund set up for her by grandparents which pays out something like £600 a month (or did when we discussed it years ago!).

Haggisfish · 08/08/2020 21:33

Not now although in-laws gave us £15000 for deposit and £1000 a month towards childcare for 5 years when dc were born. I would love to be able to help my dc in this way.

frustrationcentral · 08/08/2020 21:34

My parents are fairly well off, I'm nearly 40 so no allowance for me ( and I didn't get more than average growing up!), however they do like to pay for meals out, the odd UK holiday etc. They've just paid of the final amount on my car and I think that's due to them helping my brother who's about to buy a house

chinam · 08/08/2020 21:34

@BackforGood

Don't think she was well off, but dh's Grandma continued to put aside 50p a week for each of her Grandchildren until she died, when he was 30

That’s lovely.

Trashtara · 08/08/2020 21:34

Oh and I do have student debt! My parents believed I should learn the value of money.

Triangularbubble · 08/08/2020 21:35

My parents ensured my siblings and I started off as adults without student debt and with a decent education. They and my in laws gave us significant one off monetary gifts when we got married and when we bought our house. And if we holidayed with my parents they have paid probably a bit more than their share. I think I got a few hundred towards my first car as a student although I paid for the majority of it. If I needed a loan or money for something important even now they would absolutely give it to me. But regular subsidies to our income, allowances, cars etc no. They’ve never offered, we’ve never needed it and we wouldn’t accept. I don’t actually think giving your adult children an allowance is doing them any favours assuming they don’t have disabilities or other special circumstances.

They’re not “from money” though, quite the opposite, they just have well paid jobs.

lurch3r · 08/08/2020 21:35

Mine are not especially wealthy but now retired and own their home outright. They paid a monthly contribution to childcare when DCs were little, bought us a car to prevent us having to get a loan and various other sizeable things over the years. Both are the first generation of their families to own their own home so we don't come from a monied background. I hope to be able to do the same for my DCs. I appreciate I have been very lucky.

minnieok · 08/08/2020 21:35

My parents helped us with school fees when dd won a scholarship but only 2/3. Otherwise they have paid for occasional big family holidays. Dp's parents bought him a car and first deposit

nasiisthebest · 08/08/2020 21:37

Hahaha, no. They were totally hard on me. They kicked me out at 18 and left me to figure it out myself. It's my friends with working class parents who got lots of help with studying, a piece of furniture when they bought a house, money for a wedding, stuff like that.

I have to say that it's just me though they treated like that. My brother is the golden child who received an allowance, study paid for, driving lessons paid for, car paid for, big cash gift for wedding et cetera. Because he is a man that needs to take care of a woman he deserves to be helped. Because I'm female I should have just looked pretty, be a bit dumb (seriously was advised that) and marry someone with money. I wish I could tell you that I did something to deserve being treated like shit to make it understandable, but I was a totally normal child and teenager, albeit a female one.

My dad has a massive problem with me whenever I think for myself, and everytime I say something he puts me down because whatever I decide it must be a dumb idea. Funny thing is that in the end I did marry a high earner, but 1. I had no idea if DH even had a job when we fell in love and 2. I had my own city flat with lots of equity in it so didn't come from nothing anymore. Through the decades I also made better financial decisions than my favoured brother, but now of course that must have been "luck" or "DH must have done that". Actually it was because I knew I had no-one to fall back on. Dad ignores my DH which I don't get because he is exactly what he wished for on paper. His loss.

nancy75 · 08/08/2020 21:39

Parents are well off (earned from being very poor) bought both my brother & I a house (each) also bought our first cars. Despite this we were still brought up to know the value of money (both had Saturday jobs from 15, both always worked)
We don’t get an allowance but do get very nice xmas & birthday presents.
I appreciate I am very, very lucky.

lurch3r · 08/08/2020 21:41

Reading these posts is a bit of an eye-opener. It's obvious how wealth gets handed down within families in quite a subtle way and can result in a huge cumulative advantage, even if parents are not particularly 'wealthy'.

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