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The joy has been sucked out of everything

570 replies

supadoopa · 24/07/2020 22:36

Let me start by saying I’m in Scotland so this isn’t about masks per se, but about the whole silly dance we are being made to do in order to go about our lives at the moment.

I went to a shopping centre today and won't be back.

It’s the first time I’ve worn a mask for any longer than a quick run into the local coop. I was probably in the centre for an hour and a half but there was sweat pouring down my neck. I felt suffocated and silenced. Hated it.

My baby looked at me like I was a monster and my toddler couldn’t hear me when I talked.

But it wasn’t just masks that were the issue. There was a ludicrous one way system, which makes absolutely no sense to me if we are wearing masks and social distancing. Then every shop had a makeshift entry and exit and their own one way system which no one was observing.

At every turn I was being monitored by security guards, eyeballing me in anticipation of a wrongdoing, ready to pounce.

Almost every shop had a guard on duty forcing you to rub gel on your hands and that of my child before entering.

There were queues everywhere. All but one set of toilets shut, so queue for that too, and toilets themselves as dirty as ever because so many people using the same ones and no cleaning.

Inexplicably in most shops all but one set of tills were shut, again forcing people to congregate in long queues.

All the restaurants were again inexplicably closed apart from, yep, McDonalds and Costa. Both under small enclaves at the back of the centre. But in them you are allowed to take your mask off and eat off a table more or less. But in the main, high roofed wide open walkways of the centre, the mask must go back on.

The shops had little stock.

When I dared approach an M&S assistant to ask for a size (with a visor on like all the rest of the assistants at an angle that perfectly channels their exhalations directly at the person they’re talking too) I was barked at as if I was a naughty schoolgirl to the extent that I put the item back on the rack and walked out without buying anything.

Does anyone else think this is all utterly ludicrous?

Shops will not survive this.

We are all adults with our own minds and perfectly able to manage our selves. Why make masks mandatory if we then have to do all this makeshift posturing to appear to be avoiding each other when really we are being herded closer together.

As someone who you might consider a “hobby shopper” as in it’s one of my pastimes (and I’m not interested in any opinions about having a better hobby, if there weren’t millions like me there wouldn’t be any shops at all). I’m someone who will browse and buy, will pick up bits I don’t really need but just want. I will spend my money happily- if the experience gives me pleasure.

But now I think it’s going to be online for me. I won’t be back at the shopping centre. I won’t be visiting our city centre either as it’s just the same.

OP posts:
Charlene1 · 25/07/2020 04:30

supadoopa - yes, the conflicting rules for each make no sense - sanitising your hands at each shop with each having different brands made me worry about chemical burns from that, so that put me off, I prefer my own gel.
Can't meet up with a group of friends outside a pub as we all have to go in together so it's no good if someone is delayed as you've a time slot, and until the day, we don't know how many will make it - so we can't "book a table" as you have to say how many people will be there and I would feel guilty taking an outside table for 6 if 2 of us turned up - someone else could have had that table and may have missed out. No idea which way to walk in shops as they keep moving the barriers and signs, can't touch anything to read labels for ingredients / feel clothes.
I literally only go out for essential food and supplies but there is no pleasure in shops anymore when I do, it feels rushed that I should do it as quick as possible and not browse anymore. Also not being able to recognise anyone in the aisles and stopping to say hello made me sad.
Then they demanded contactless payments for everything, so if you did a full week's shopping you would have to add it up and split into 2 parts because of the £45 limit - that caused queues and people getting impatient. My bank sent me a new card as the old one expired in May - it's not contactless as they don't do them for my account, and I've had sighs and tuts when I have to use the card machine slot and keypad.

I just hate that we are supposed to go back in shops now, follow ridiculous and draconian rules that are pointless and they make us feel so unwelcome when we are there. People who are still shielding are terrified to go back to shops on the August as the government has just decided that since people are now shopping with face coverings on we'll be able to drop social distancing soon - great, but not helpful to vulnerable people when someone looms over them in the fruit and veg aisle thinking they're invincible and don't have to keep away any more as they have a rag tied round their face that is of no protection to anyone whatsoever! If cases still don't fall in the next couple of weeks now with all the face coverings being worn, then I fear what is next for us that the government tell us to be doing - already talking about gloves - will it also be goggles and ear plugs next. Full hazmat suits to buy milk??? Won't be trying on any clothes then at all!
Threats of lockdown at a moments notice if you are in an area with big factories / hospitals and a spike in cases happens?
Can't honestly see any shops trading after all this madness. :(
Can't see any positives around being in shops currently I'm afraid, I wish I could :(

Downwardfacingdoggy · 25/07/2020 05:55

I’ve never understood why shopping is seen as a hobby by so many people. Ooh, it’s my day off - I must spend it mindlessly trailing round a shopping mall like sheeple spending the money I’ve worked for in crap that I’ll use for a short while that has been made in sweatshops. If it stops people being zombies in malls cos they find wearing masks a luckless uncomfortable, well then that’s no bad thing for the planet.

LeatherFlanny · 25/07/2020 06:06

I think you need to try changing your mindset on this.
Be grateful that all these measures might actually be helping to save the lives of you and your family?
Be grateful that you have the money to go shopping?
Be grateful that you don't work in retail where they're all just trying their best to follow government guidelines, please the customer and not catch the virus?
I dont mean that to come across in a shitty way, I get your frustration, but we sometimes need to realise how privileged we are. I've had covid19 and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

lilylion · 25/07/2020 06:08

@justinhawkinsnavalfluff

Aw didums to the whiney people who dont like protective measures to save Drs and nurses because it makes their shopping horrible I feel v sad for you....
Indeed.

We went shopping for a new mattress today (desperately needed) and it was perfectly pleasant and fine.

TheGriffle · 25/07/2020 07:36

What I don’t understand with the mask wearing is everything I’ve read says you’re supposed to get rid of it once you’ve used it (disposable in the bin or into the wash if reusable) so in say an outside shopping mall you’d still have to wear it all the time as pulling it up and down defeats the object of wearing it.

We’re going to the seaside next week. We’re going to have to wear a mask constantly while at the beach front as otherwise we’d be taking it off and on between shops which isn't allowed.

Also when eating you take it off for that then I’m assuming you’re supposed to put a new on one?

I can’t afford this endless supply of masks.

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 25/07/2020 07:40

YANBU op shopping for pleasure/going for a coffee is a joyless activity now. Even discounting the mask sitch most of the shops have a lot less stock to browse.

Restaurants seem to be applying rules in different ways too and that is sucking the joy out of the experience too.

Went to a local Gastropub last week and it was a joy, spaced out tables and great waiter service, tiny bit of music on.

Went to a local farm coffee shop which had a much reduced menu -including no gluten free options (because you can’t be coeliac in an epidemic) no lovely display of cakes (behind glass) so you could choose something by the look of it, everything individually wrapped and squashed in celephane and all disposable plates and cutlery. There was a member of staff supervising diners and agreeing when you could go to the loo!

My local curry house last night was shambolic - staff masks shoved up and down faces, making diners sit side by side, and staff wearing the same rubber gloves to do everything!

The rules must be so open to interpretation- who’s checking that businesses have got this right?

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 25/07/2020 07:42

@TheGriffle You don’t need to wear it on the beach or wandering around only if in a shop or takeaway. If you sitting in a cafe to eat you don’t need to wear one.

LadyPenelope68 · 25/07/2020 07:48

@supadoopa
Local coffee shop opened but they’ve put these big wibbly sheets of clear plastic between all the tables and now the place just steams up with condensation
I’d prefer plastic as at least it’s light and you can see people. We called into the cafe at our local farm shop and they’ve put 6foot fence labels around tables to create “booth”, but the panels are so high it’s dark and feels like you’re sitting in a garden shed!!

supadoopa · 25/07/2020 07:53

@snowsuit

honestly can't believe so many people are making a fuss about having to wear masks. i don't even find them much of a hassle – i get used to wearing mine after having it on for a few minutes and then barely notice it – but even if i did, it's a small price to pay for protecting a) other vulnerable people and b) yourself. if you think a mask is uncomfortable, wait til you see what they do to put someone on a ventilator...
I really detest this sanctimonious “if you don’t like a mask you won’t like a ventilator” sneer that’s being thrown out there.

My poor DF spent a week on a ventilator following a total laryngectomy that he never really recovered from and died a few months later. So please don’t patronise me about ventilators.

OP posts:
Glitterkitten24 · 25/07/2020 08:01

I was there yesterday too OP, assuming it’s the same shopping centre as it sounds very similar.

Think yourself lucky you didn’t have to use the Apple shop- they take your temperature, and have you read a disclaimer at the door saying you aren’t sick before allowing entry, as well as hand gel etc.

I understand why the measures are in place, but I will be shopping online for the foreseeable future because it’s an uncomfortable, miserable experience. As soon as I left the centre I was ripping off my mask to breath properly again.

ZiggeryZaggy · 25/07/2020 08:05

It’s some of the one way systems that are getting to me. The ones that don’t make a lot of sense.

In my local garage, the main walkway is wide enough for two people to pass with a distance between them. But you are not allowed to leave that way. Not even when it is completely empty in there.

The woman on the till shrieks “THAT way”, at customers the second they have paid, before even having had the chance to walk anywhere. Then you follow the stickers in the looping one way system, down narrower aisles to leave.

However, the one way system only applies to walking to the till from the door and leaving (which you would do it buying petrol) , not to shopping in there it seems, as if there are people shopping, they can be browsing coming in the other direction and then you have to squeeze past each other or go backwards to avoid each other.

This doesn’t seem to bother the woman At the till, she is solely concerned with policing the till area. But, without the stuck on floor arrows it would be easier to social distance in the first place. Hmm

There is another garage nearby, where the staff are behaving in a perfectly normal way. You leave space when queuing and then pay, have an interaction with a perfectly friendly person, then leave. When leaving or shopping, moving out of the way of any other customers whilst letting others past. Basic manners and common sense to leave that extra space for social distancing now.

supadoopa · 25/07/2020 08:06

Oh I saw the queue at Apple.

They make it pretty easy to buy and do everything online so I imagine this palaver will be a good excuse for them to drop all their physical stores soon and save a lot of money.

OP posts:
SockYarn · 25/07/2020 08:07

Was it pleasant? No! Would it be my choice? No! Did I do it? Absolutely! Did I survive? It would seem I did

But @HollyBen you are getting the wrong end of hte stick. The OP wore her mask.

But she is agreeing with you that it is NOT pleasant and she is exercising her choice not to do it by not going shopping. And it's not just masks. I agree that it's the whole experience of queuing, unusual one way systems and people shooting you daggers when you forget something and go the wrong way, the barked instructions to sanitise, the fact that shops have taken things out to make more space - it's just no fun.

user1497207191 · 25/07/2020 08:08

@Downwardfacingdoggy

I’ve never understood why shopping is seen as a hobby by so many people. Ooh, it’s my day off - I must spend it mindlessly trailing round a shopping mall like sheeple spending the money I’ve worked for in crap that I’ll use for a short while that has been made in sweatshops. If it stops people being zombies in malls cos they find wearing masks a luckless uncomfortable, well then that’s no bad thing for the planet.
Fully agree - perhaps some good will come of all this if people stop wasting money on cheap tat and disposable fashion.
supadoopa · 25/07/2020 08:09

@ZiggeryZaggy this is hilarious, I live next to one of those bp M&S one’s and this is exactly what it’s like. It’s only on the way out you get shouted at to use the arrows.

They have also cordoned off the whole front entrance so everyone is channeled together to get in and forced to walk into the exiting traffic to get out.

Funny how things that health and safety would never pass previously are suddenly allowed.

OP posts:
user1497207191 · 25/07/2020 08:10

There is another garage nearby, where the staff are behaving in a perfectly normal way. You leave space when queuing and then pay, have an interaction with a perfectly friendly person, then leave.

Sensible shops will survive. Those who make the shopping experience miserable will fail and rightly so.

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 25/07/2020 08:12

@supadoopa

Totally agree about health and safety - maybe (sensible) Covid precautions will come under them soon?

Fosler · 25/07/2020 08:13

I don't believe any of this is necessary!

Watch what this Doctor has to say:

ChangeThePassword · 25/07/2020 08:16

And then I saw a news item today on a design for how the streets of Edinburgh will look when they’re set up for social distancing ... they are widening pavements and narrowing roads for this.. it’s permanent

They aren't changing the city due to coronavirus. They are bringing forward plans to improve the city centre for pedestrians and cyclists as it will have the bonus of making social distancing easier. That's not the same thing.

ChangeThePassword · 25/07/2020 08:17

Although to be fair to you op, that's not how it has been reported by everyone.

Dowser · 25/07/2020 08:19

@supadoopa
Totally agree with you
It’s horrible and I hate it
I’m again waking up with that feeling of dread in my stomach that had dissipated for a while.
Haven’t read full thread but the rest of us are on AD threads and you sound like one of us

KnobChops · 25/07/2020 08:20

The places that are pleasant to shop in are the ones that stayed open throughout. Their staff have retained perspective and it’s a relaxed experience.

The shriekers tend to be those who have been furloughed and are now terrified.

OlafLovesAnna · 25/07/2020 08:20

I can't get worked up about masks. The country I live in made them compulsory indoors weeks ago, near the start of the pandemic I think. It has been in 28-34 degrees recently and all shops and indoor areas have a one way system, obligatory hand gel as well as the masks or visors. Even my 7 year old has got used to it now to be honest.

It was kind of strange at first but after all this time we are all used to it and it doesn't feel like a big drama. I have packets of disposable masks in the car and we all have a fabric one in our bags. My teens have to take them even when they go out with friends in case they nip in and buy a drink anywhere.

The outdoor areas of restaurants are open and you don't have to wear a mask at your table obviously but you do have to put one on to walk to your table, then to go inside to the loo.

It does feel weird initially but you get used to the new norm pretty quickly.

Iwanttositundermyownvine · 25/07/2020 08:21

OP have you tried travelling out to a smaller town? I live in a medium sized town in Scotland with a mix of high street and shopping mall, pretty identical to almost every mid-sized town in Scotland. We have M&S, Primark, Next, Debenhams, Boots, Waterstones, loads of shops with a smattering of independents and cafes. It's been absolutely fine shopping, and if you're fed up in the centre you can wander down the high street for a bit to get a breather. It's not been that busy and the staff are perfectly nice and normal and friendly.

Maybe it would make a nice change if you're in a city and want to try somewhere else? Might make a nice change of scene as well if you've not travelled much in lockdown - we've hardly left this town for 5 months now...

OlafLovesAnna · 25/07/2020 08:22

That had paragraphs when I typed it out - sorry!

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