Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

The joy has been sucked out of everything

570 replies

supadoopa · 24/07/2020 22:36

Let me start by saying I’m in Scotland so this isn’t about masks per se, but about the whole silly dance we are being made to do in order to go about our lives at the moment.

I went to a shopping centre today and won't be back.

It’s the first time I’ve worn a mask for any longer than a quick run into the local coop. I was probably in the centre for an hour and a half but there was sweat pouring down my neck. I felt suffocated and silenced. Hated it.

My baby looked at me like I was a monster and my toddler couldn’t hear me when I talked.

But it wasn’t just masks that were the issue. There was a ludicrous one way system, which makes absolutely no sense to me if we are wearing masks and social distancing. Then every shop had a makeshift entry and exit and their own one way system which no one was observing.

At every turn I was being monitored by security guards, eyeballing me in anticipation of a wrongdoing, ready to pounce.

Almost every shop had a guard on duty forcing you to rub gel on your hands and that of my child before entering.

There were queues everywhere. All but one set of toilets shut, so queue for that too, and toilets themselves as dirty as ever because so many people using the same ones and no cleaning.

Inexplicably in most shops all but one set of tills were shut, again forcing people to congregate in long queues.

All the restaurants were again inexplicably closed apart from, yep, McDonalds and Costa. Both under small enclaves at the back of the centre. But in them you are allowed to take your mask off and eat off a table more or less. But in the main, high roofed wide open walkways of the centre, the mask must go back on.

The shops had little stock.

When I dared approach an M&S assistant to ask for a size (with a visor on like all the rest of the assistants at an angle that perfectly channels their exhalations directly at the person they’re talking too) I was barked at as if I was a naughty schoolgirl to the extent that I put the item back on the rack and walked out without buying anything.

Does anyone else think this is all utterly ludicrous?

Shops will not survive this.

We are all adults with our own minds and perfectly able to manage our selves. Why make masks mandatory if we then have to do all this makeshift posturing to appear to be avoiding each other when really we are being herded closer together.

As someone who you might consider a “hobby shopper” as in it’s one of my pastimes (and I’m not interested in any opinions about having a better hobby, if there weren’t millions like me there wouldn’t be any shops at all). I’m someone who will browse and buy, will pick up bits I don’t really need but just want. I will spend my money happily- if the experience gives me pleasure.

But now I think it’s going to be online for me. I won’t be back at the shopping centre. I won’t be visiting our city centre either as it’s just the same.

OP posts:
alltoomuchrightnow · 25/07/2020 01:01

(But, I DO agree with you re the joy being sucked out!) I was missing my local mall, and desperately need new bras (due to my physical job and being large of nork) but the thought of going there freaks me out!

alltoomuchrightnow · 25/07/2020 01:02

BTW, my manager said thinks at least another 6 months of mask wearing! As all social distancing will be abolished and we'll just rely on masks. I so need a new job! One with air con anyway. Or where I can sit down sometimes. But jobs are pretty thin on the ground right now :(

wentawaycameback · 25/07/2020 01:05

It is a pandemic- therefore hard, difficult and certainly not joyful.

alltoomuchrightnow · 25/07/2020 01:06

Agreed, not meant to be joyful. But I did feel like walking out of my job today because of the nature of the work in a hot windowless building

Wilko312 · 25/07/2020 01:09

But you whined that it's all so ridiculous. Get a grip.

CountessFrog · 25/07/2020 01:14

wentawaycameback

If you’d read my post, you’d realise I wasn’t shopping for a hairdryer in a mask. It was before they became compulsory.

The fact it was a £300 hairdryer is relevant in context. Pretty expensive, huh? But revenue for John Lewis, if I’d bought it.

I didn’t buy it because the young ladies on nearby ‘perfumes’ were glaring at me for touching it.

And yet they are reliant on revenue to keep their jobs.

Meanwhile an older lady on clothes told a customer to try on items over her clothes and she would ‘turn a blind eye.’ So no consistency. In the same shop, I’m frowned upon for touching a hairdryer.

The compulsory use of masks feels like a nail in the coffin for these shops. I wear glasses, so my glasses steam up in a mask.

CrazyToast · 25/07/2020 01:16

One of the hardest things with all this, for me, is that it is inescapable. I can't leave the country to escape it. I can't do anything to change it or to stop the ways it is impacting my life negatively. All I can do is keep going and wait and wait and wait. With no particular idea or hope of when it might get better. No wonder we are all struggling. This is so hard in so many ways.

We just gotta be strong and keep on going.

katy1213 · 25/07/2020 01:18

What a fuss about nothing. I've been shopping in the West End this week, staff were all cheerful and helpful, sanitiser was usually offered at the door but nobody stopped me from browsing or touching. If you go to a shopping mall that was grim before lockdown, it will still be grim now. The moaners were moaning a few weeks ago that nothing was open; now we've got shops, pubs, cafés, gardens, galleries, museums - I've had some nice days out.

Kahlua4me · 25/07/2020 01:20

Gracious, everyone is making such a fuss about wearing a mask- surgeons and dentists have been wearing them for years and I don’t think many have died from lack of oxygen. They wear them for hours at a time too.

I get that they are not the most comfortable but nor is this virus and if wearing a mask allows me to go shopping whilst reducing the risk of me catching it or passing it on then that’s fine with me.

Inarightpickleandpreserve · 25/07/2020 01:27

Is there such a thing as a
See through face mask so you have one on but you don’t look like it? Is that a thing??

earthyfire · 25/07/2020 01:27

I wouldn't mind but yesterday I went to a Sainsbury's local and they had three members of staff blocking the doors telling people when to go in so I literally had to squeeze in-between Confused them all to get in the shop!

gluteustothemaximus · 25/07/2020 01:29

Yes, shopping isn’t the same, it’s a pandemic.

Thankful masks are mandatory now as no sod had a fucking clue how to social distance before.

katy1213 · 25/07/2020 01:29

@dinosauratemydaffodils
If you haven't been out since March, how do you know people are being awful? And for the sake of a cross-eyed look, that might/might not be your imagination, is it really worth imprisoning yourself at home? No wonder you're feeling depressed.

Trinketsfor20 · 25/07/2020 01:47

Meh. It’s a changed world but I am not feeling joy-sucked. Going out and about lots. My 6 month old seems okay with masks, the 4 year old is far too excited about procuring fancy Spider-Man masks and enjoying his superhero pre school teachers in occasional masks, I’m loving going to the shops after being locked down, enjoying picnics and park and woodland friend catch ups, enjoying coffees by the river often also just me and myself with baby in the sun, dined out sitting outside favourite restaurant with spouse, and looking forward to seaside break next week. Yes masks and lots of sanitising. But a pandemic is here so needs must buy it’s not gonna stop me from enjoying what’s possible to the greatest extent I responsibly can!! No point comparing to what greatly delicious joys it may have brought sans virucidal hand gel - far greater benefits for me to make most of what’s possible and go with flow!

Trinketsfor20 · 25/07/2020 01:48

PS I meant my 6 month old seems okay seeing me masked - I haven’t chucked a mask on her I hasten to add 😂😂

justinhawkinsnavalfluff · 25/07/2020 01:49

Aw didums to the whiney people who dont like protective measures to save Drs and nurses because it makes their shopping horrible I feel v sad for you....

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 25/07/2020 02:02

if you haven't been out since March, how do you know people are being awful? And for the sake of a cross-eyed look, that might/might not be your imagination, is it really worth imprisoning yourself at home? No wonder you're feeling depressed.

When even your local minister is calling people names on social media because they aren't wearing masks...it feels like a bit of a given.

ItWasNotOK · 25/07/2020 02:10

I can't get over the fuss about masks. I live in Asia, very common to wear masks, regularly gets to 35 and very humid, air-conditioning barely works on public transport and no one moans.

Honestly the British and the Americans are such pissy little babies sometimes. It's embarrassing.

managedmis · 25/07/2020 02:52

Best thing is the non - hands free sanitizer. Like, really? Really? Wtaf

Charlene1 · 25/07/2020 03:04

Rafflesway - I've heard from various people about difficulty in getting the most random things lately - TV's - made in China / other parts of Asia and problems getting them shipped here. Chest freezers - everyone snapped them up during the first panic buying. Chicken, fresh vegetables, and plaster for walls / building as they are affected by the lockdown areas - I didn't know until this week that a lot of plaster comes from the Leicester area. Branston beans and sausages in a tin are flying off the shelves and being sold on ebay for silly prices. Everyone has seen the "high risk" towns and seems to be panic buying again in case they suddenly get locked down with no warning.

HathorX · 25/07/2020 03:06

I'm sorry you had a bad experience but my family really enjoyed our local shopping centre this week (admittedly it is one basically outdoors, with some covered walkways). We aren't big shoppers - tend to only go a few times a year, as I shopped online mostly anyway. But we used to go to this shopping centre for its great restaurants and cinema.

Anyway, I wore my mask as did my 9 year old. We followed the shopping centre one way system, as did almost everyone else. Only went in a handful of shops but found the staff just as pleasant as usual. Of course it is not like normal but it's a lot better than not being able to shop at all.

We had a meal in a restaurant for the first time since March and it was wonderful. Lovely friendly staff.

Charlene1 · 25/07/2020 03:13

Inarightpickleandpreserve - yes, you can get clear coverings and people with hearing problems will probably thank you for it as they have half a chance of being able to lipread and communicate with you. :) Not sure if it was a deaf charity site that had them or not.

I have seen a face covering made out of a long pipe cleaner hooked over the ears / nose and an A4 clear plastic pocket woven onto it like a half visor thing that just hangs down your lower face if you want to get creative!! :)

Charlene1 · 25/07/2020 03:20

MrsTravers - yes you can wear scarves, a lot of people are saying that feels better as people wear either lightweight ones in summer as a fashion accessory or heavy ones in winter when they automatically cover their face against the cold, so it feels a bit more "normal" and you don't fiddle with it as much as a "mask" and it's easier for glasses wearers to pull up and down going in and out of shops without them pinging off. :)

Charlene1 · 25/07/2020 04:01

Dinosauratemydaffodils - I get what you say, we can only hope things will improve all round once the government sort the figures out and hopefully make some sense with whatever the "next steps" are, based on evidence of what's helped and not helped cases and people's lives.
If you want to go to shops, do so - you're exempt, they cannot force you to tell them why, it is private medical info under GDPR (even the police can't ask the reason) and if they get arsey / refuse you service, inform them they are discriminating against you under the Equality Act 2010. Any customer giving you abuse, just ignore them as if they abuse or assault you, it will be them getting arrested.
I used to love going shopping and spend hours every xmas just wandering round, grabbing a drink, sitting watching people happy and having fun - I dread to think what it will be like this year if we're not back to "normal" by then. I never realised until March just how many normal fun things I took for granted - when we couldn't even sit on park benches chatting to whoever was next to you a few months ago, I was gobsmacked at the rule and sad that people just jump out of the way of others now. Whenever I needed support from a mate, that wasn't allowed and I wouldn't have wanted to meet up outside to talk about private stuff as you're distracted by whoever is glaring at you coming past you. No one ever expected it to go on this long, and it is horrible that no one can say when an end date will be - back in March, we all thought it would be a 3 week lockdown and that was it, but 4 months later we get new rules made up almost daily that make no sense half the time! Hang in there! :)

Charlene1 · 25/07/2020 04:02

CrazyToast - Absolutely!