MN vs real life

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

Can we have some (lighthearted) comparisons about what MN is like compared to real life. I'll start

MN: a roast chicken last for 14 days for a family of 5
RL: a chicken is cooked and the carcass is disposed of. At a push, the meat is taken off the bones for soup

MN: Parent and child spaces should only be used for randoms with invisible leg problems. Even if you have 5 children you should park in a normal space and not be so entitled as to think P&C spaces are for you
RL: Parents Park in P&C places and get annoyed when people without kids park in them

MN: Everybody wants a low key wedding with 6 people in the local cafe and the bride wants to wear a nightie she bought for 80p from the Scope shop
RL: most people have a lovely wedding in the region of £20k with a dress bought from a wedding boutique

MN: Your neighbour is mildly irritating and you've had one or two minor disagreements? The only solution is to move house!
RL: Smile and be civil even if it's through gritted teeth some days. Or ignore. Who are these people who can afford to uproot and relocate every time the neighbours piss them off?

MN: I want to call my son Zeus, Pilot, Raddix, Apollo, Kanye, Pharoah, Lion etc

RL: Dave

Most of these boil down to “MN: Middle class/affluent thing RL: Working class / poor thing.”

What about Otillie, Clementine or Tabitha for a baby girl? DS is called Piers Magnus, btw
MN: Oh, I loooove Otillie! Have you considered Otilline? Or Emmeline? Coventina? Hyacinth? Persephone?

Real life: Sniggers before realising person is serious. Tries to remember if "baby girl" is what people call their cats now but comes up short. Thinks of the nicest way possible to tell person that their kid is going to get the shit kicked out of them at school as you picture your own child's class. Remember that Otillie Clementine is unlikely to be going to a school near you (or, indeed, any shit-kicking sort of school). Quietly suggest Megan or Ruby or similar and back off quickly, mentally preparing yourself for future Prime minister and horse enthusiast Otillie Clementine Montague.

MN there is a 50% house price crash just around the corner as it is the only way ftb will be able to buy a home.
RL house prices mostly go up because there is no shortage of buyers including ftb.

MN DH (a super high earner) earns £300k yet drops the dc at school, is back home for tea and has Fridays off.
RL most salaries are between £20-50k and people work 40+hours pw plus travelling time.

MN people on average earnings send their dc to private school.
RL even professional couples earning £50/60k each only send them private if grandparents are paying. Instead they live in areas with outstanding schools.

@CaptainCorellisPangolin whats wrong with clementine? there is an influencer midwife called that? think she also named her daughter ottilie. thats probably where it is from.

Personally am going to name my child Astrid or Sophia if this a DD, and Conrad or Michael if its a DS. Hopefully in RL, my child wouldn't be teased.

Very funny op!

MN: I don’t care what any man thinks about the way I look, I dress for me!
RL: What do you think? Do you prefer the red or the blue dress?

[quote Desiringonlychild]@CaptainCorellisPangolin whats wrong with clementine? there is an influencer midwife called that? think she also named her daughter ottilie. thats probably where it is from.

Personally am going to name my child Astrid or Sophia if this a DD, and Conrad or Michael if its a DS. Hopefully in RL, my child wouldn't be teased.[/quote]
Yeah, to be fair, I'm probably projecting a bit from my own childhood devoid of a lot of names which come up on here a lot. Children are probably much kinder with regard to names now. Don't know about the influencer, am not on Instagram.

I still maintain that a lot of unusual (and very posh) names come up with such frequency that every Otillie in the UK must have both her parents on MN.

At the last-but-one General Election our Tory candidate had a son called Amadeus, a name that means “Daddy says I will never ever have to set foot in a state school”. So they do exist in RL, just not in places most of us will encounter them.

@CaptainCorellisPangolin I live in London. A DC's class would have children with names like Priya, Meiling,Usman, Nisha. All thoroughly common names for BAME children (in the countries of their ancestors).

Therefore not sure how children would know which names are unusual and which names aren't. Not many 5 year olds have knowledge of common names in India, China and Pakistan. Its just the parents who know who is being pretentious.

Otillie/Amadeus probably makes more sense if 1 parent is German.

[quote Desiringonlychild]@CaptainCorellisPangolin I live in London. A DC's class would have children with names like Priya, Meiling,Usman, Nisha. All thoroughly common names for BAME children (in the countries of their ancestors).

Therefore not sure how children would know which names are unusual and which names aren't. Not many 5 year olds have knowledge of common names in India, China and Pakistan. Its just the parents who know who is being pretentious.

Otillie/Amadeus probably makes more sense if 1 parent is German.[/quote]
We're in London as well and DC's classes sound quite similar to yours (and to mine, when I was at school in a different city). Lots of names from different cultures, and I'd have no idea what constitutes as a pretentious Indian, Pakistani or Nigerian name. I still think I'm right in saying that, on MN, a lot of names which would be considered posh in the UK come up a lot, much more than they ever would for most IRL (as PP said, they do exist, but not in places we'd really encounter them).

Hey, maybe I'm just out of touch. I mean, my parents thought it odd that I had classmates called Josmi and Hassan, after their own schooldays of John, Tom and Sarah. Possibly, Hugo and Persephone are considered perfectly ordinary names now and it's just passed me by.

@Desiringonlychild

MN- £800k-1 million budget on a house. If you are planning for a child, don't even dare buy a house without a garden and should also be near amenities, train station and country walks... Also if you are planning for a child, be prepared to go part time and be able to cover the mortgage on 1 salary.

RL- DH and I can only afford £400k and want to stay in London near family so a zone 3 flat (with communal garden) is what we buy (me). Also don't know anyone in RL with £800k budget for first house. Also don't know anyone in our age group (27-30) who can afford £1 million for a house

This is the most MN comment ever and the unintentional irony really made me chuckle (please don't take offence I mean this lighthearted!!)

I don't know know anyone IRL with a £400k budget for their first house

This thread was what I needed today

@pennysea

MN: My husband has a super secret hobby that I can't possibly tell you about on here as it's very niche and if I let it slip it will identify us right away.

RL: He plays golf.

I didn't realise the secret hobby was golf!!!

I always thought it was cycling so I have learned something new

@FrangipaniBlue I'm a conveyancing solicitor and I've had one client that I remember who bought their first home for £500k-ish. London prices and salaries are probably the only way it happens though.

Mn - DH goes cycling three evenings a week and all day Sunday.

RL - DH teaches four year old how to ride his bike around the park.

This is my favourite thread ever!

MN: Neighbour had the audacity to talk past 8pm and then step on a creaky floorboard? Move now! Put the house on the market and uproot your life. Or better yet, try putting a condescending letter through the door! That'll show them!

RL: Turns the tele up

NM - Always take non resident step children into account when booking holidays or considering a day at the zoo. Under no circumstances can they be left out.

RL -Non resident children will not be on every day trip or holiday that is happening.
Logistics and finance just won't allow this.

This is back on P1 but honestly given the depths of ds's current teenage lethargy I would be THRILLED if this were the case. Shows enterprise.

my son is operating a stolen rickshaw up and down the South Bank.

Surely this thread needs to be considered for MN classics?

@FrangipaniBlue I guess you don't live in London?

MN is very London/SE biased, but even in London, not every family has £1 million budget for a house. on MN, it seems like every other person does!

Most of my friends in my age group rent and are single.

MN- Tunbridge Wells, Folkestone are artsy, bohemian and liberal. You would feel right at home. Great commute.
IRL- You spend 3 hours commuting everyday door to door. Also huge season ticket cost is never mentioned.

I had a MN situation earlier this morning.

Neighbour's visitor stands on the doorstep smoking and when done, throws his cig butts on to my driveway.

MN advice would be to draw a diagram, log with 101, write a stern letter to the neighbour, and then sell my house.

Real life: waited until he was out and smoking, bobbed my head out and asked him very nicely if he could stop. Immediate apology from him, smiles and thank yous from me. All sorted.