How long do I leave it before telling DS?

[UltimateWednesday]

DS pays a contribution for his keep and also covers the cost of insuring him to drive my car, which he has more or less free use of in the evenings, when I can use the other car.

He's paid fortnightly so we agreed he'd pay £x per fortnight. He seems to have set the standing order up weekly.

Obviously I am going to pay him back but it feels like this is a teaching moment about actually checking your bank account.

Sorry 19yo

Why pay him back?

Tell him now. I doubt he's earning enough money to be able to afford that and it seems rather mean not to.

I’d give it a fortnight.

Tell him when he thinks he is flat broke, you are right about it helping him learn!!!

Rebelwithallthecause because he's paying double what we agreed?

It got cause an imeadiate cash flow problem for him. He's earning well for his age and has very few outgoings. He's built up a very healthy balance during lockdown, when he's literally had nothing to spend it on.

It won't...

I would keep it and see if he works it out himself.
Then it'll be like savings he doesn't know about..if it takes him so long.

At first I thought you were going to give him back the whole amount after a year - my dad paid for my 1st years insurance and I paid him monthly, at the start of the next year he gave me what I had paid him for the next year.

As you mean for your son's mistake of double paying then I think you should tell him now and if he's not missing the amount he may want to keep the arrangement going so he has paid for a year in 6 months.
You definitely need to tell him sooner rather than later, its dishonest not to.

I'd quite like him to notice himself.

Save it to give it to him when he notices, but let him notice, it’ll be good for him.

What? No, just tell him - as you’d do any other adult. The error may well be the bank’s.

Have you insured him on your car as a named and he's now the main driver? Using it more than you regularly? Just be careful if that's the case because that's fronting and is insurance fraud

And I would just tell him he's made a mistake with the fortnightly payment and tell him to be more careful

No I would tell him straight off why wouldn't you? What sort of lesson is he going to learn other than mum can't be trusted to tell the truth around money.

No I use the car everyday for work. He uses it occasionally in the evenings.

Save the extra money for him. Then it’s a positive learning moment 😊

Tell him right away how weird you would keep his money

Save the extra money for him. Then it’s a positive learning moment

He's an adult, not a 14 year old. Just tell him so he can manage his own money.

For Christ’s sake! You just say “oh DS you’ve set this up to go weekly instead of fortnightly.” If it was your partner or friend or granny you’d tell them straight away. You don’t get to just keep his money until you decide to give it back!

Seems a very odd response from you to your son op?

Of course you should tell him.

I would tell him straight away and make sure he knows how to correctly set up a standing order... not telling him and not teaching him how to correctly use his bank is outright odd, and cruel.

I wouldn't tell him but I would mention that when I started working and managing my own funds, I would check my account each sunday to make sure everything was correct and suggest that he should sit down and go through his transactions every week so he can pick up any mistakes.
See if he does it! And then say "see, and because you checked your account you noticed a mistake. That's why it is important because if I wasnt your mum, I wouldn't be looking to get the money back to you. You need to be careful"