I don’t know if I can afford this baby

[user1494157537]

Hi all, I’ve fairly recently discovered I’m pregnant. The baby’s father has made it clear he wants nothing to do with it or me. He is due to move abroad for work very soon.

I don’t know how I’m going to be able to afford it. At first I thought we’d be ok as I am on what I thought was a pretty good wage (£60k) and own my own (very small) 2 bedroom flat.

I live in central London and my mortgage is currently £700pcm but I used help to buy so that will go up to c.£1200-1300pcm in a year. I’m in negative equity as the value has dropped and so I can’t afford to sell and buy somewhere cheaper.

I’ve just started to find out about nursery fees though. They are extortionate. I only get SMP with my job and the nursery’s which have fees online are as much as £90-100 a day. Most don’t have fees up. (If anyone knows Canary Wharf baby feed please let me know!)

I have some savings but only a couple of months worth and just can’t see how I can afford to work and pay for childcare. It seems very unfair that a couple on £49K each would get help but I’m not able to get anything.

Has anyone been in a similar situation and how have you managed? Please help, I’m getting a bit desperate. I’ve always wanted to be a mum but can’t see how on earth I can afford it.

The problem is full time childcare is expensive

Eg this childminder in Canary Wharf who sounds lovely is £60 per day - so per month would be around £1300

With mortgage of £1300 on top that's £2600 per month, leaving her with £500 per month left for other expenses
(I guess shes in a flat so she will have service charge/ground rent to pay, council tax, bills etc)

Doable but will be challenging

Can you still purchase childcare vouchers through salary sacrifice scheme? You end up saving money as less tax and I used mine at a childminder as well as a nursery beforehand

I honestly don't understand why you think you can't rent out the 2nd bedroom now for 6 months or so, all of that money goes in a savings pot to help out whilst you're on SMP.

Could you move back with your parents for mat leave and AirBNB your flat?

I know a couple of people who did similar - not reallt viable outside London, but your location sounds marketable so a possible option fir you.

"Could you move back with your parents for mat leave and AirBNB your flat?"

That's not a bad idea

SHE IS NOT ALLOWED TO RENT ROOMS OR SUBLET UNDER THE TERMS OF THE HELP TO BUY ARRANGEMENT. seriously this is getting silly now.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

AnotherEmma I’m not claiming to be an expert but it’s clearly not as easy as on smp you can top up your income with UC. I just struggle to believe than a woman earning a higher taxed income goes on mat leave, can claim benefits.

“Under the Universal Credit rules, Statutory Maternity Pay is classed as ‘earnings’; this means that some of the amount paid is disregarded. However, Maternity Allowance is classed as ‘income’ rather than ‘earnings’ and the full payment is taken into account.
The maximum rate of Universal Credit for a lone parent aged over 25 is £549.49/month (for herself and her baby with no housing costs); the maximum rate of Maternity Allowance is £629.11/month (£145.18/week). As the Maternity Allowance income is more than she is deemed to need, she is not entitled to any Universal Credit. Without entitlement to Universal Credit, she does not qualify for the £500 Sure Start Maternity”

For the record:

"The maximum rate of Universal Credit for a lone parent aged over 25 is £549.49/month (for herself and her baby with no housing costs)"
This is wrong. It is currently £645.72/month. This includes £409.89 standard element (recently increased due to CV19) and £235.83 child element.

Source www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/universal-credit/on-universal-credit/check-how-much-universal-credit-youll-get/

Secondly, most of the quoted text refers to Maternity Allowance, which is irrelevant because OP won't get MA, she will get SMP. Unlike MA, SMP is treated as earnings. When paid monthly, SMP is £655.20/month. £512 of this will be ignored (this is the work allowance when not claiming the housing element). 63% of the remaining £143 will be deducted from UC, that's £90.22.

£645.72 - £90.22 = £555.50/month

Yes but AnotherEmma logic tells me if I go on mat leave and only get smp and rock up to a job centre and tell them I’m on mat leave from a 60k a year job can I have some benefits they would say “go back to work”

Well your logic is wrong, just as well you're not a benefits expert isn't it.

Don't you just love mumsnet, where people will argue that black is white until they're blue in the face

I know it's not amazing but tax free childcare will save you 20% on all childcare. It's the only way we are affording it to be honest.

@user1494157537

Absolutely do not let the baby's father get away with paying no maintenance for the child he's helped to create.

You sound like a well educated successful professional so I'm guessing the father may be on par with you there so isn't a down and out who doesn't have a penny to rub together.

You need to speak to CAB and the CMS about this.

Far from ideal, however you mentioned that your mortgage is about to increase, could you speak to a broker and see if you could switch to an interest only product for the next three years until you'd be entitled to 30 hours free childcare?

[quote user1494157537]@sergeilavrov thank you. I live just outside CW so don’t have a car so that is a big saving and I am lucky enough to be able to walk to work so that’ll help.

There really is no option to get a lodger in, ive attached some links to similar properties to my flat - I don’t live in any of these but they all have very similar layouts to mine

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/fullscreen/view-floorplan.html?propertyId=68636238

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-77658718.html

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-94043828.html

I guess I will somehow make it work. The childminder option is a good one. I didn’t realise they were so much cheaper.

I’m going to ask work if I can compress my hours but previously they have been VERY anti this. I run a deptartment. And apparently I’m needed everyday. There’s also no way I would be allowed to wfh with a baby![/quote]
Why couldn't you have a large single bed in each room instead?

I think it's not just that a lot of people don't understand her HTB mortgage, but also that they don't understand the costs of central London.

No, she can't rent somewhere for much cheaper, even if she sold at a loss, unless she's going to live in a flatshare with a baby (good luck finding one you'd want to live in), or unless she moves so far from work that I don't see how she could work full-time without a nanny.
No, she won't get childcare for £1000 a month, even from a childminder - they also have to pay London prices for their property and that drives prices up!
So no, she won't get a full 20% off with tax free childcare. If childcare costs her £2000 a month she'll still only get off £2000 a year, or about 8%.

I know £60k a year is a great income in most of the UK - it is where I live now - and you could easily raise children on it (though if you're saying that as a SAHM you're not comparing like with like because you don't pay for childcare). That doesn't mean that OP is being stupid or difficult to think that she's going to struggle considerably, though.

I agree that where you live £60k and a baby could be tough, I don’t live that far from you so I know its difficult.

Due to your mortgage you can’t change your housing/have a lodger so we can discount that.

Childcare I found travelling further out for childcare cheaper, I live on the Islington Shoreditch border and I travelled north for childcare as it was still cheaper despite needing more hours of childcare. I found very little difference in price between nurseries and childminders due to the cost of property. I was pay £55 a day, but my son was 18 months old, I think babies are possibly slightly more expensive.

Things for baby you can get everything but the cot mattress second hand, as you don’t have a car you can also save on the car seat.

You have 9 months to save every penny, you can make a lot of progress financially until the baby comes.

I would go on moneysavingexpert and put in your SOA to get ideas of things that can be reduced, offers to take advantage of etc.

AnotherEmma you seem to be gunning for an argument. I’m genuinely asking, why would the government give benefits to someone who has a 60k job waiting for them, you don’t have a compulsory mat leave in the UK

Luckily the government disagrees with you and recognises women's rights to have a bare minimum of financial support during maternity leave.

I don't like it when people spread misinformation and wrong "advice" because of their own personal opinions and agenda.

You will definitely be able to find a cheaper nursery than that.

Luckily the government disagrees with you I didn’t say they shouldn’t- Jesus!!! I just said I didn’t understand it. I’ve learnt something

If you’re in negative equity would now be a good time to take on the Help to Buy portion of your property and remortgage? Hopefully would stop mortgage costs increasing so much

Would you consider moving out of London? Childcare costs in London are just disgraceful - I'm currently arranging A childminder as I'm pregnant with twins and I'm currently looking at paying £35 a day per child which with tax free child care account works out less than £30 per day

I would also see if you can take a term time childcare contract which should bring the cost down - are you able to use your annual leave to cover most of the school holidays?

I'd also be telling the father he needs to pay up

Might be worth looking at nurseries in bow / mile end as they charge less than in CW and would be straight forward to get to on the DLR / bus

Tax free childcare is the best benefit you will get - it's £167 per month off your childcare so make sure you sign up for that as as soon as you can.

And also it's short term the costs will reduce once child is 3 and you should get 30 hour funding which helps. Even if it means getting into debt for a few years I'd do that over giving up your job. See if you can get an interest free credit card to spend on and then save some cash.