I don’t know if I can afford this baby

[user1494157537]

Hi all, I’ve fairly recently discovered I’m pregnant. The baby’s father has made it clear he wants nothing to do with it or me. He is due to move abroad for work very soon.

I don’t know how I’m going to be able to afford it. At first I thought we’d be ok as I am on what I thought was a pretty good wage (£60k) and own my own (very small) 2 bedroom flat.

I live in central London and my mortgage is currently £700pcm but I used help to buy so that will go up to c.£1200-1300pcm in a year. I’m in negative equity as the value has dropped and so I can’t afford to sell and buy somewhere cheaper.

I’ve just started to find out about nursery fees though. They are extortionate. I only get SMP with my job and the nursery’s which have fees online are as much as £90-100 a day. Most don’t have fees up. (If anyone knows Canary Wharf baby feed please let me know!)

I have some savings but only a couple of months worth and just can’t see how I can afford to work and pay for childcare. It seems very unfair that a couple on £49K each would get help but I’m not able to get anything.

Has anyone been in a similar situation and how have you managed? Please help, I’m getting a bit desperate. I’ve always wanted to be a mum but can’t see how on earth I can afford it.

@Soubriquet

What about an au pair?

I hate the way people think of an au pair as cheap but expect them to have responsibility for a baby. It’s just cheap labour.

You won’t get child benefit as you earn over £50k. Well technically you would on a sliding scale but I think at £60k it’s virtually zero.

Can you consider compressed hours? Work 4 days and cut childcare costs that way?

"I can check out a childminder - how much per day are they likely to be?"

Info about average childcare costs here:
www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/childcare-costs

"I checked the entitled to website and it says I’d get child benefit of £21pw but would then have to pay it back?"

It depends on your income for the tax year. When you're on maternity leave and just getting SMP, you'll be able to get and keep the child benefit. When you go back to work, once your income is back to £60k for the whole tax year, you won't get child benefit (you can either choose not to claim at all or claim it and then pay it back).www.gov.uk/child-benefit-tax-charge

Clicky link
www.gov.uk/child-benefit-tax-charge

You can have a single or 4' bed plus cot in the larger room then rent out the single? You can certainly rent it out now - 6 months rent to the savings pot.

Is there no way for you to remortgage? Help to Buy can be an arse like that, but might be worth speaking to a free mortgage broker to find out

You could have a lodger in the single room. Possibly someone using it as a base during the week for work.

Oh sorry I missed the bit in the op about him moving abroad..yes, that does complicate matters.

Are you sure he's moving abroad or has he just told you this?

God knows how I managed to have a baby, a mortgage and a job for years as a single parent but I did. i wouldn't do it again though, well I'm too old anyway.
I agree a childminder is better. my son was very happy with his childminder and I remember hating every second of nursery when I went - my mum was a single parent too. i was only 3 but remember it clearly.

My SIL paid £55 a day last year for her child under, from 8am to 6pm. She lived in the Chelsea area, and was happy with the standard of care. I would imagine Canary Wharf would be cheaper. Also, check if your workplace has childcare. Many big companies do, mine has a crèche.

Whether you trust anything that came from the genetics of your colleagues around your baby is another question

You are not entitled to child benefit (although you should get it whilst on smp) but you are entitled to tax free childcare which will reduce your bill by 20%.

But no, I think that, as a single parent, you cannot afford to live in central London with a £1200 mortgage and a £1000 nursery bill.

Can you reduce your mortgage payments and make the term of the mortgage longer?

Yes I desperately want this baby. My mortgage is already 40 year term. I bought the flat at 27 and am 30 now. I don’t have a credit card but I suppose I could get one for the maternity leave. I’m planning to go back to work as soon as I can really to try to afford to live.

Unfortunately I’m pretty sure my ex is moving abroad for work. He had been planning it for a while and announced it before I knew I was pregnant. So I’m counting on £0 from him.

I’m tied into expensive contracts for thin I thought were essential and I could afford. An extortionate gym membership which I need to pay until March next year and a 2 year phone contract.

I’m so excited but also can’t see how I can afford it

The problem really is that your fixed mortgage cost is too high. Can you let the flat and take a cheaper rent? Nursery costs are really only high for 2 years- the baby will presumably be with you for the 1st year of Mat leave and then will get 30 free hours after their 3rd birthday

Will you work full time? I worked over 30hrs and got working tax credits on about £40k

Tax credits aren't relevant to the OP as it's not possible to make a new claim for tax credits - it would be UC now.

I think your main issue is your mortgage payments are so high. Since you’re in negative equity you either need to get a lodger or find someone who can look after your baby while you work for as £1200 on a mortgage plus around £1000 a month on nursery fees just isn’t doable on a 60k wage as a single parent. Do you have any friends or family who would look after the baby? I can’t see what other options you have tbh.

"£1200 on a mortgage plus around £1000 a month on nursery fees just isn’t doable on a 60k wage as a single parent."

£60k/year = £3600/month net so after £1200 mortgage and £1000 childcare, OP would still have £1400 left over which is more that a lot of people have, the question is will that cover all other bills in London including council tax, utilities, food and commuting...

My family all live several hours away. 😔

My help to buy loan doesn’t kick in for another 2 years so I’d have the first year just paying the mortgage which is ‘only’ £700pcm so that will help.

I’m just amazed. I always felt I had a good income, I lived comfortably, within my means but I live happily.

I take home about £3150pcm after student loan repayments and my pension. I could always stop paying into my pension but I’d really want that to be a last resort.

Right. So you need to look at your finances with a fine tooth comb. What goes in and what goes out? What can you cancel? You say you’re tied into the gym but at the minute they might be more flexible.

What else can you get rid of? TV package?

Then work out what you’ve got left. Take off nursery fees and how much have you got left to live on?

£3150 is grand. What do you have left after your bills have gone?

"I could always stop paying into my pension but I’d really want that to be a last resort."

Well you'll probably have to reduce your pension contributions to the minimum until baby turns 3 and you can get the 30h funded childcare.

You can't have it all, you can't have a baby and a big mortgage and uninterrupted pension contributions and not do absolutely everything within your power now to save money including getting a lodger until baby is born and going through contracts with a fine toothcomb and negotiating with gym, mobile phone provider etc to reduce payments or end the contracts early.

I think you can afford this baby if you budget very carefully. MSE is your friend.

You don't have to take the full time off on maternity I know several people that have returned after a few months, with my eldest I had 8 weeks off, next 4 months and then the others 6 months paid maternity was introduced. In many ways it easier to return when they are little as they don't have separation anxiety.

You start living on much less and start saving now. You can do this. It will be frugal compared to what you are used to but it's far from basic. You don't need to spend much on baby equipment and clothes etc. 2nd hand is very much the way to go.

Work out your budget from now until the baby is 6 months old then 12 months old.

£60k isn't a particularly high salary for central London. But your post is pretty pointless since it sounds like you're having this child whether you can afford it or not.

"£60k isn't a particularly high salary for central London."

The average salary in London is £38k, and in the city of London it's £54,700, so £60k is above average.

www.ons.gov.uk/employmentandlabourmarket/peopleinwork/earningsandworkinghours/bulletins/annualsurveyofhoursandearnings/2019#detailed-analysis-of-earnings-and-hours-worked