Please may I have a handhold? My mum died today.

[LunaNorth]

I can’t believe I just wrote that thread title.

It doesn’t make sense to me. I loved her.

Sounds like your family have learned from you and your mum how to love and take care of each other.
Hope you enjoyed your bath and food. Take it gently, baby steps, and yes, a little bit better day again tomorrow x

That’s a lovely thing to say

Oh OP,
Just seeing this now.
So sorry for your enormous loss.

Have just cried over your lovely postings about your mum.
Very moving.
She sounds so lovely, special and so talented.

To be so beloved by your children is the testament to a life, a lot of people would be satisfied with after their lives are over.

It certainly would be for me.

You kept going for your Mum after your Dad died, so this will hit you hard.

Try not to burden yourself with expectations.

Allow yourself to grieve, as you must, and be minded by those around you.

RIP to Luna's Mum

So sorry to hear this, hope you are ok OP

So sorry to hear of your loss. Be kind to yourself. It never gets easier but eventually you will feel some light at the end of the tunnel and remember all the good times.

I'm so sorry for your loss, your mum sounds absolutely fantastic.

I'm so sorry, there are no words

So sorry for the loss of your mum Luna. She sounds lovely. She reminds me of my Nain who used to drop off newspapers for the ‘old people’ in the village.....when she was 80

Totally normal. The one thing I have learned is to go with the flow. Grieving is hard, but grieving while worrying if you're doing it right is even harder. I'm still grieving, but now I give myself a pass to do it however I like. Take care Luna

So very sorry for your loss

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mum sounds like a wonderful lady.

Take it minute by minute and be kind to yourself. Cut yourself some slack over everything you can.

I remember feeling like I was lost at sea when my mum died a few years ago and it felt like a part of me died with her. It's a cliche but it gets easier to live with over time. I found going to a bereavement group helpful and writing down memories about her. I wanted to talk about her, my dad wouldn't mention her - everyone grieves differently. I'm so sorry. X

Thank you all for your lovely messages.

I’m up at showered. We have a virtual meeting with the vicar at my sister’s house today, so I have put my game face on.

I’ve chosen a poem for mum, and she told me her music a couple of years ago.

She wanted ‘Smile’ sung by Nat King Cole, and it’s perfect for her, over the last eight months since Dad passed away. It’s as if she knew.

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it’s breaking.

That’s mum all over.

You are coping very courageously. Your meeting is another step forward.
I love your Mums choice of song - she is thinking of you and telling you to be brave even now. Her love shines through.
Still handholding.

It is hard I know - try and live your life as she would have wanted; that is the best tribute for her. So glad that you had a loving relationship.

Well, I've managed to write some notes for the vicar for her eulogy, I've chosen a poem and we've sorted out her flowers.

I came home and went for a run. I feel better for it.

I've had a couple of gin and tonics though. I didn't drink at all yesterday, but somehow I don't feel bad at all about having a couple of stiffeners. I doubt she would have disapproved.

You just need to go with the flow darling and each day will surprise you.
Sometimes a piece of music or story from someone will really strike a chord and you may burst into tears...it's ok! She was loved.
I lost my lovely Mum in 2008 and miss her very much indeed.
Sorry for your loss x

Thank you

I’m so sorry. Xxx

Hello everyone, I hope you don’t mind me adding to this thread. I just need somewhere to put my thoughts.

I went to visit my mum today, in the chapel of rest. They gave me a little pouch with her wedding ring in.

It’s so tiny. A lifetime of love in that tiny little ring. Incredible.

I feel incredibly tired.

So sorry luna and your dad too. Xx

Thank you.

I'm so sorry for your loss xxxx

Ah darling. I want to have something powerful to say but I don't. Just that your posts and your love for your mum are so moving.

Aww sending lots of love and hugs. My mum died 11 years ago it's very very hard. So sorry. X

I’ve just come across this thread.

I am so sorry for your loss @LunaNorth Your DM sounds a wonderful person.

My gran used to complain about the ‘old’ people in her care home. She was 101 and the oldest there!

Look after yourself and treasure that wedding ring.

My DF died nearly 3 years ago. I talk to him through the stars when I am standing in the garden when I let the dog out last thing at night. Still miss him dreadfully.