Please may I have a handhold? My mum died today.

[LunaNorth]

I can’t believe I just wrote that thread title.

It doesn’t make sense to me. I loved her.

She sounds like a wonderful lady. It's nice to know she maintained that style and cheekiness until the very end. It sounds as though she was happy, and that's the most important thing in the world. Happiness is everything.

I understand the shock. My grandmother passed a few months ago and it was also sudden. My dad has only spoken to her that morning and she was fine. It takes a while to process. Be kind to yourself, and remember her smiling face.

I’m sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself Luna.

She sounds like she was a genuinely lovely & talented lady. Her going off in search of Mars Bars is a really good last memory. The items she made for SCBU will have made lots of parents very happy to have something that fitted their LO properly (I still have some cardis & hats we bought in SCBU for my oldest 2 dc).

The last memory my DC have of their Grandad is him eating chocolate cake & laughing at their chocolatey faces.

I hope you can find something to help you smile today, even if only for a moment.

I'm so sorry for your loss and I really cannot imagine the pain you're going through. My biggest fear is losing my mum. I am thinking of you, stay strong. ❤️❤️❤️

She sounds so lovely - take care xx

Thank you. It’s very hard.

I’m so sorry to hear this.

Thank you for telling us about your wonderful mum Luna. That really does sound a life well lived.

You’re all so kind.

It really was a good life.

I don’t know what to do with myself today. Dad only died eight months ago, so it was all about looking after mum. Now what?

Now what? You take some time.
‘What’ will reveal itself to you.

We are still here listening when you want to talk

So sorry for your loss Luna

Just a simple post to let you know you are still in my thoughts

Thank you.

Can I ask for some advice?

I just can’t seem to pull myself round. All I want to do is lie in bed and stare into space/endlessly scroll through my phone. It’s absolutely not like me at all.

The kids have lost their Gma, but I’m being no use to them. I just want to be in my room.

Is this ok? Normal? I wasn’t like this when Dad died, and I adored him. This feels different.

Do I just go with it, or is it better to try to pull myself round?

I just want my mum.

@LunaNorth oh no poor you, to loose both parents within 8 months is so brutal. I am really sorry for your loss.
I've been there, you will come out the other side but it will always be different without them. Please be really kind and gentle with yourself.
Hope you can get some big heartfelt hugs in real life.

People cope differently- it helps some people to distract themselves by being madly busy. Some people like peace, quiet and time to reflect and deal with the shock this way.
It’s very early days, do whatever helps you and don’t feel guilty.
How old are your children?

So sorry for your loss

Went through this myself 2 years ago. The only thing you can do now is be kind to yourself. You do what you need to do whether that's quietly process, keep busy or cry it out. Take care

Normal. But try to do the practical things with/for your children. Plodding on sometimes helps.

My mother died in 2014. I still get the feeling I should pop up the road to have a cup of tea with her, or phone her because I haven't spoken to her for a while. She is gone but she is never far away. I find that comforting. I hope you find something that comforts you.

My kids aren’t children. They’re 20 and 22. One of them is at work.

I’m just feeling zombie-like.

I'd concentrate on yourself tbh. I lost my second grandparent around the age of your kids, and it was nothing like losing both my parents. I was sad, yes, but not having parents is a whole different thing imo

Yes, I think you’re right.

Totally normal, when your dad died you had your mum to concentrate on and look after, so you subconsciously or not, pulled yourself round for your mum.
This time it's just you that needs looking after. Be kind to yourself, have a couple of days in bed, then get up and do your mum proud. ⚘

I agree - if you feel like a zombie then stay in bed for a few days. I don’t know you or your kids, o I’m being a bit presumptuous here, but would it help to tell them how you’re feeling? They might be feeling a bit helpless and nurturing you for a while might help you and them. Sorry if this isn’t appropriate for you, I don’t intend to judge or tell you or your family what to do. Just sharing that’s what helped me and my adult daughters to deal with the immediate shock.

Feel free to tell me to F Off and keep my beak out. But I’ll still virtually handhold.

@MrsDrudge

Not presumptuous at all. They’re being very kind, and I have a lovely DH who’s being very good too.

I’ve managed a bath and some fruit and cheese.

I’m determined to have a better day tomorrow.