Has anyone ever not told their family they are in labour?

[CheddarCheesey]

Baby due in two weeks. My MIL and her sister (DH's Aunt) have asked DH to text or call them as soon as I go into labour. MIL has repeated the request a few times and been fairly insistent. I just wondered if others have not followed through on this with their families and only told them once the baby is born?

The context is, I am not keen, as I feel nervous about it (the whole birth) and the pandemic has made things more scary. Having messages and the weight of other people's expectations makes my anxiety worse. I'm attending a busy hospital in North London where there's been a massive Covid hit and it's all been quite stressful going to appointments there etc. The rules are that DH can only attend the actual birth and not be present for the beginning / middle of labour or with me afterwards in postnatal ward. I'm looking forward to it all being over and us all together back home.

Also, DH isn't really very close to his mum, they get on fine but we don't see loads of her or anything - let alone his Aunt!

I do understand them wanting to know, but is it reasonable of me to not want to let anyone know until afterwards when everyone is hopefully safe and baby is here? I'm also not telling any of my family by the way.

Has anyone else gone in and had the baby before telling family?

(Just to add there's a chance I might have to have a c-section and I think I'll still feel the same if they book that in next week or so).

It never crossed our minds to tell anyone we were in labour. It's no-one else's business but ours. We waited several hours after birth before even calling parents. It's a special time, why be in a rush to bring everyone in straight away? You're under no obligation to at all.

If I was close to someone like my sister or mum, I would tell them , but not if I was not particular close.

Your labour and baby, you do what you want.

My MIL has been repeatedly texting DH this week saying that "as soon as CheddarCheesey goes into labour you must text us".

She wants her and her sister to know straight away. I can't think what's going on in her head!

‘Must’ text them? Nah, I don’t think so. You want your husband concentrating on you, not answering demands for updates every five minutes. And what exactly do they want to know? Details of mucus plugs and other deeply personal things that go on in labour? Not their business if you don’t want it to be.

We didn’t tell anyone except the friend who looked after dc1 while I was induced with dc2. I hated the idea of fuss or worry and preferred to be just left to it. Both dc arrived around bedtime but we spent time alone in our happy bubble in the labour room before being moved to postnatal ward in the early hours so we didn’t make phone calls to tell everyone until breakfast time the next morning.

They’ll be all giddy and happy for you without any accusations of why didn’t you tell me.

We didn’t but DC1 was a speedy arrival. Was lovely to call them from the hospital and tell them! For DC2 and 3 we needed childcare so my mum knew but no one else as my labours were very fast. Good luck OP!!

I didn't tell anyone the first time until the baby was born. I didn't want my parents pacing the waiting room worrying.
Second and third times my parents knew because they were looking after the toddlers.

What would I tell anyone when there isn’t anything to tell?