Anti dementors not (second) waving but flouting

[Waleshasgonecompletelycrazy]

Welcome one and all. Bad days, good days...we're here for you all

On the imagined SAHP utopia, I can confirm after 6 years of being one it is NOT utopian or something anyone should be forced in to. I went in to it voluntarily and with my eyes wide open (although it was a decision dictated by circumstances rather than ideology) and it’s still been damaging to my mental health. My confidence and self worth are shot. I hate having no money of my own, no pension and people assuming I must be a bit boring / lazy / thick. As soon as this is all over I’ll be back to job hunting / investigating retraining, which is what I was doing in March. 2020 was going to be the year I got my life back.

On the subject of strange political bedfellows, I’m a lefty remainer who found myself nodding vigorously at everything Tim Loughton said on R4 yesterday afternoon about schools and children being failed.

Yes I agree, if it had all been straight from the start, as in e.g. Holland they were asked (not told) and also given the facts and the message was 'we can get through this but we need to all help one another' that kind of thing, instead of the shaming and fear we have had, that would have been better

And now it is we are the most fearful, and it is not really surprising given the messages and advertising. It was even planned, to make people feel there was a 'personal threat'

It makes me feel angry. And yes, now it will come back on them as people won't trust them as they are not being clear with the facts and letting people take responsibility for themselves, instead pursuing this 'safe' message instead. Don't they realise how people will react? It all seems very reactionary. And patronising.

*People who refuse to go back to work can be given unpaid leave, and eventually sacked. Including teachers.

Other than the shielding group, nobody should expect to be paid for months while not doing the job they were hired to do*

Absolutely! If teachers don't want to teach, I bet supply teachers do. And in any other sector you can think of (including mine) the rapidly growing army of people who have been made redundant will happily step into the frame. Sign me up, for a start!

@Nihiloxica I agree

I think this its across politics and isn't really a left / right issue. It is surprising how some on the left are reacting though. Quite disappointing.

But they've just said in another thread that teachers who are going to get out on unpaid leave will just "go off sick".

I was feeling a bit bad for teachers this morning but this kind of thing doesn't help.

Nor suggesting kids wear full PPE, "properly".

I agree with nihil too

End this ridiculous he-can she-can’t bickering limbo

Do we now have mask police btw who are going to come and examine the quality of your masks? Hmmm, that's only got two layers, that's not good enough, off the bus you go.
That's gonna piss off all the arty-crafty Cath Kidston cotton home manufacturers, isn't it?

I'm a center left floating who voted remain and increasingly seem to agree with more right wing people - though have also nodded along to David Blunkett and Tony Blair comments when I've seen or heard them and I wasn't always their biggest fan previously.

Let them dig all they want.
Everyone else can just get on with life.

Exactly. A lot of people seem to have unconsciously moved to 1m, it’s a much more natural distance to stand from someone. Queues which aren’t marked at 2m and groups meeting up in parks all seem to stay around 1m apart. Of course there’s going to be some dementing about how the good is putting money over people’s lives, but increasingly people are getting that that argument is wearing thin. Money over people’s lives only works when people perceive it as being a fat cat crying into his champagne that he can’t afford a new yacht. When it’s the very real prospect of job lossless and not being able to pay your rent or mortgage it no longer becomes a sustainable argument because it reaches the point that money literally is lives.

It is all bollocks. And every day it just gets madder and madder, while our livelihoods, our families' futures and all our plans and dreams just drain away. It's getting harder and harder just to drag myself upright some days.

My view is that things will be back to normal normal by November. As we've said from thread 1, the tide will completely turn when furlough ends, and people are going to have to apply for UC. When furlough starts to wind up at the end of July, I think opinions will start to change. It's all well and good dementoring in your house when you're being paid to do it.

And I say that as someone who has been furloughed on full pay since 1st April.

@Mascotte luckily eldest is in R and has gone back last week. It's a relief and gives me more time with the baby (who nursery refuse to take). The whole lockdown has left its mark on us though and I'm supposed to be full time working with a 10 month old.

It annoys me that people see women's jobs as jobs, not as careers. Saying it's ok to be furloughed because being a sahm is the ultimate dream that we've never been able to have before. If you want that then fine but actually women WANT to work, not just HAVE TO and we want careers, not just day to day jobs to bring in a bit of extra cash. My career will be destroyed by this, I'll still have a job but it's like I've gone down a snake on the career board.

I'd like to bet that a lot of the people crying about money over lives would also be anti UBI. Which, in my mind, if you want to obliterate school and childcare as we know it, and only have parents doing it, is the only solution.

I would be for it. It would mean me and dp could both work part time around each other. Still pay the mortgage and look after Ds whilst maintaining some "freedom" if you like.

But I can already see cries of "ugh just means lazy fuckers can stay at home while I work" (even though if you're working you'd still get it!)

@Bellesavage You're right, I hate it. It makes me feel useless and my brain is like mush.

I'm a fan of a UBI anyway, and it would be ideal just now. I think it's a good way to smooth out the disparities in society, even if only a little.

Not that I'm saying that's how SAHM should feel, it's just how I feel about my 22 year career going down the pan.

@Orangeblossom78

Just had a strange bickering kind of argument with DH about living in a cul de sac he tok affront as I said I couldn't cope with living in one of those (thinking of the clapping, dementor type shaming and curtain twitching) but he grew up in one and took it personally

Daft. is anyone else find they are having silly arguments at the moment? Thankfully he is back at work (some days) so have a break form each other today.

Not really silly arguments but it is affecting our relationship in other ways.

At the moment he works from the dining table, with the kids downstairs and I work from our bed because I have to take a lot more phone calls and am much busier. So we dont really see each other all day except passing for food and he's dealing with the kids more (that'll change though once all 3 are back to school next week).

Add to this my usual chronic pain condition & horrific hayfever means I'm just not feeling well enough for kisses and snuggles and sex. So its having the knock on effect that he's feeling rejected and I'm just trying to survive. Its hard to get on the same page emotionally right now.

@Cattermole

Do we now have mask police btw who are going to come and examine the quality of your masks? Hmmm, that's only got two layers, that's not good enough, off the bus you go. That's gonna piss off all the arty-crafty Cath Kidston cotton home manufacturers, isn't it?

My home made masks are entirely up to scratch, they’re two layers with a pocket to add a third if you want. I know it’s easy to make fun of people for making masks, but I’ve lost my job and feel entirely useless. I have sewing machine and have time so one thing I can do is make masks for my family. It’s not that we’re all mad keen to wear them, but for instance my BIL has been told he has to wear one to his oncologist appointments so at least he’s now got a comfortable one he can wear.

I thought the rules were just a "face covering"?

Urgh. I think I’m going to take a social media break (MN included). Feeling really sad and everything I read is making it worse.

Dp and I were arguing loads at the start. It's levelled off a bit now, and was driven mainly by me being dementory about the wedding probably being postponed. I do feel guilty though, he's working like a Trojan and I'm at home on my arse and usually in a fairly bad mood by the time he comes in. I have to force myself to be bright and breezy and encourage him to get out and play golf and whatever through firmly gritted teeth.

Our arguments tend to be due to the fact that we are experiencing this in two completely different ways.

I hate having no money of my own, no pension and people assuming I must be a bit boring / lazy / thick.

❤

I'm sure you are all sick of my rants, but I'm still going to (apologies).

Women who are not in paid work run this fucking country - they volunteer in schools, they run playgroups, advice centres, NT properties, raise funds for all kinds of things, look after children for each other.

They have incredible skills and resourcefulness and they use them to the benefit of society all the time.

It's not just paid work that has been stopped. SAHMs don't just sit at home looking after children and doing housework.

They have also been pushed out of their roles that are just as important to society as paid roles.

Not allowing children to go to school is not only a problem for working women.

@Drivingdownthe101 Hide everything except this thread.

@Nihiloxica Very true indeed.