Things that make you cry with laughter years on

[WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo]

I'll go first having spent the night pissing myself laughing over an incident that happened when I was a kid.

Many moons ago I was left being babysat by my brother, I'd been hiding upstairs, found my brother's Viz stash when I heard shouting coming from downstairs.

Thinking it was a prank I ignored it.

Shouting became more insistent so eventually I went to investigate, tip toeing my way into the living room as my brother was a known and impressive prankster.

Cautiously walked into the living room only to be met by my poor brother lying prone on the floor with our idiot dog locked onto him having a merry old time. I can still see him now humping away 😂😂😂 and dbro lying there shouting 'I've broke me leg, I've broke me leg phone a fucking ambulance' whilst trying to shove off the idiot dog who probably couldn't believe his luck 😂😂😂

(( It turned out he had broke his leg and it was his own bloody fault. He'd left a plate on the floor and somehow managed to skid on it and landed on the brasses we had on the fireplace somehow )) absolute fool and to this day, about 30 years on we'll still lock eyes on occasion and he knows what's coming 😂😂😂

Brilliant. When dsis and I were teenagers we were leaving the local Tesco when an elderly lady beckoned us over and asked if we could help her unwrap her pack of cigs for her. Older dsis took command of the situation, unwrapped the cigs and the lady then held out her hand, dsis duly accepted it and proceeded to give it a delicate shake with a solemn (albeit rather loud voiced and patronising) 'YOU'RE WELCOME!'. The lady then shakes her head and looking very perplexed says 'No, I want the cellophane, to put in the bin'. Still cracks me up years later and yes I still bring it up for a good laugh, Dsis is a good sport about her failed attempt at being a good samaritan though.

Ahh that's tickled me as well! I've got loads but they're not really funny to anyone except me I don't think and I always remember them at inappropriate times.

Years ago, DH and I had watched a creepy adaptation of Dracula on tv. We went to bed, fell asleep, and were woken in the night by the bedroom window swinging open. We both sat up, terrified, and I gripped DH's arm tightly. He was screaming and staring ahead. I gasped "What are you looking at?" He yelled "Let go of my arm !!" I'd forgotten he'd had a tetanus jab that day, and I was squeezing so hard he was in agony!

There was a famous alledged troll on here, I won't say the name as it gets threads deleted but they'd given lots of different stories about their life which didn't match up.

They made a post once about their Mum and wanting to take her to one of the D day landing beaches and someone replied 'but isn't your Mum blind, deaf and dead?'

It was the 'and dead?' that made me laugh then and still does now.

In RL there was something that happened at work which makes me cry laughing when I think about it. I was sharing a bag of crisps with a colleague when I dropped a couple of them on the carpet. Now, maybe I am a disgusting slob in most ways but (until coronavirus!!) I've always abided by the 5 second rule, hence I picked the crisps up and ate them. I didn't realise that a third colleague was watching me, this colleague is a lovely, lovely man but he's a complete germophobe. Really, really bad. Oh I'll never forget the look on his face and his incredulous tone as he asked if he had actually seen correctly, me eat a crisp from the floor. The complete horror on his face made me laugh so much and still does.

Another thing that always makes me laugh is my friend who was in a toilet cubicle, and was talking , or so she thought, to someone in the next cubicle. The person would talk and my friend would answer. Then, the person said "sorry I'll have to call you back, the person next to me thinks I'm talking to them" 😂 😂 😂 my friend couldn't come out until she was sure the person had gone.

On here, the woman who said she'd 'snapped and farted' had me actually weeping in hysterics

We were staying at my mother in law's and getting ready to go to a family do, my MIL was barking orders to FIL about not being ready, what shirt was he going to wear etc... generally causing a bit of an atmosphere as she does get a bit flappy and always has to leave at least 20 mins before we really need to leave.

Poor FIL finally brought a shirt down that clearly needed an iron, which he wouldn't think was necessary, but MIL would be mortified if he wore it without running an iron over it.

She loudy and very huffily got the ironing board out, muttering how he could have got the shirt out sooner when she had more time to iron it etc.. and proceeded to iron it while making sure FIL knew she was cross.

She finished ironing, folded the board back up and angrily and quicky tried to walk through the door with it while maintaining eye contact with FIL. Unfortunately the board was sideways and not lengthways and she went clattering into the doorframe with an abrupt halt (think dog with long sideways stick trying to get through a gap) and in her confusion tried to go through it again. Bless her though, she immediately melted into laughter as did the rest of us and we had a lovely time at the party. I will always remember how cross she looked as she was about to go through the door to put the ironing board away and the look on her face when couldn't go through 😂

Youngest DS had been home from school with a slight cold. I was a single mum, dashing the rest out of the house to get to school, college, and get myself to work, so just left him in bed.

Came home at lunchtime, to be greeted by 'thank god you're home - I want a drink and there are no clean cups!'

After I'd finished reading him the riot act about doing some washing up, I started laughing. Now, every time he comes round (he's fully grown up and everything), I say, 'thank god you're here, there are no clean cups!' and the pair of us laugh like loons.

But it was a close run thing whether to laugh or nail him to the wall.

My husband and I play this card game where you have to point to each others' cards and say things like "this is a 3" or "this is yellow" (and the card-bearer has to remember the information). On our honeymoon he leaned in and peered at my cards, and said with a flourish, "this is a FOUR" but he had some kind of brain fart, and instead of pointing at my card as he said it, he really dramatically rolled the dice. I could not then, and cannot to this day explain why it was so funny, but I was absolutely helpless with laughter (to his extreme consternation) and even at the memory of it I feel this enormous wave of powerful, uncontrollable amusement come over me.

It's odd the things that get you

There was a time when a teenage cousin received a lot of money, for a significant birthday: she had emphasised to anyone who would listen that she didn't want any presents, just cash. To make a bit of ceremony out of presenting it to her, her parents made her play a "party game" to find it. With everybody else watching, her mum blindfolded her with a scarf and told that her cash was in the room, and that she'd have to locate it; she was allowed to move about, and ask yes/no questions about where it was. A photo was taken of her holding up the answer on a card, so that everyone else would know. After receiving "no" answers to just about every question she asked, her mum reminded her that she could move about, and told her that questions such as "is it in front of me?" might be more useful. From then on, she got the answer "yes" every time she asked "is it in front of me", no matter how much she moved. It was ages before she realised, while everyone else tried to keep a straight face. When she finally twigged that it was hidden inside her blindfold, she ripped it off with a flourish: notes went flying. One cheeky child lunged to grab one, and then everybody else did too. The birthday girl was incandescent with rage about this humiliating way of receiving her money! She sulked for a little while, but fortunately she did soon see the funny side, enjoyed spending her money, and this story was retold many times.

Snapped and farted from here gets me every time I see it

Other than that the IRL incidents are mostly "had to be there" family moments.

My dh always makes me laugh...but one that still brings tears to my eyes happened last year

He had been working on some flooring but without any knee protection so had badly hurt his knees which caused him to walk completely straight legged for a couple of days.

Anyway, one day, this massive...and I mean massive spider suddenly skuttled on to the floor. Cue dh freaking out. He threw a shoe at it which caused the spider to turn round and charge straight at him. Dh shot you, waddled over to the other side of the room and face planted straight down on to the sofa where he was stuck as he couldn’t bend his legs to get up.

I was crying with laughter, nearly wetting myself, whilst he desperately trying to get himself up whilst screeching “that spider is out to get me!!!”

Shot across not you*

I was in Morrisons with my dsis and heard a woman ask her mum to get a bottle of orange juice. Her mum came back down the aisle and proceeded to announce that she had “farted with every step”. Her daughter was mortified but me and dsis were in hysterics.

This was years ago but we still laugh about it now.

5 years ago when we were doing antenatal classes, the lights had been turned off and we were all sat in the dark with husbands behind us massaging our shoulders and pretending we’re in labour. Class leader (who was very earth-mother and softly spoken) then started saying about getting things ready to take to the car and comes out with “You’ve got your ball, bag...” Cue DH & I snorting and trying to stifle laughs in the dead silent room. We were like naughty schoolchildren giggling the rest of the class and when we walked home we could finally laugh out loud about it and I had to keep stopping so I didn’t wet myself We still laugh about taking a Ballbag with us places now

After playing hid and seek with friends as a child, we realised that one boy had not been found. He turned up a white later at my friend's house, and it turned out he had hidden at the end of a street and fallen asleep.

Ooh I've remembered the one time I tried fitness yoga and the guy in front of me was struggling to get into one of the positions. He was looking around at everyone else and kind of shrugging in disbelief. I couldn't concentrate after that.

My sister ringing me after she got the photos back from her wedding photographer pissing herself laughing.

Dad is famous for walking round various tourist destinations and beauty spots completely oblivious to walking through other visitors holiday snaps.

Sister found this photo of dad moseying through the frame of her v posh wedding pictures, when he clearly noticed and thought “oh shit” and tried in vain to hide behind a pillar.

Terrible, that's fantastic! 😂

The time my son had a midweek teenager party/ gathering which I decided to stay/hide at my mothers for.My wife fell asleep upstairs and a very aggressive neighbour who complained about the noise ended up throwing apples at the drunk teenagers while they threw my potatoes back at him.They also trashed my long awaited mancave...great days👍

One xmas eve DH took it upon himself to do the trifle. I was like ok fine , I appreciate you helping out. Couple hours later I walked past the trifle and thought it looked a bit odd. He’d put 24 sponge fingers in the bottom of it, in a complex multi layered lattice type structure. Fucking idiot , but man did I laugh.

Me and a friend took our then five year olds to the theatre to see the Tiger who came to tea. Bought them both a tiger on a stick that they could wave about. We nipped to the loo before it started and my friends daughter was taking AGES. Friend took the tiger on the stick and danced it about over the top of the toilet door saying (in her best tiger voice) “come on! Hurry up! There’s other people out here who want to go to the loo”

Her daughter then came out of the cubicle next door. We just looked at each other and ran. I’m helpless just writing this....

This makes me sound like a very horrible person and is quite outing, but here goes.

In my early 20s I went out with my work colleagues to a restaurant where they for some unknown reason staple your orders together when you are at a big table. Instead of stapling the orders together the waiter somehow stapled his own hand. Then tried to pretend nothing happened. Myself and the colleague who also saw it happen had tears rolling down our faces trying not to laugh in front of the waiter.

Once the waiter had got a safe distance away we howled, the group we were with caught the infectious laughter. I'm still laughing about it now.