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Original poster

I haven’t got time to fucking sunbathe!

139 replies

AlwaysDancing1234 · 02/06/2020 20:45

PIL’s popped by unannounced today (to say hello to kids from the driveway) and MIL said “ooh you having a nice day day sunbathing”. NO I’M FUCKING NOT!

I’m working bloody hard 9-10 hours each day from home whist homeschooling the kids, doing all housework etc. I’m exhausted. DH and I have told PIL’s this but they still seem to think I’m at home doing nothing. I had to end a call with a colleague due to MIL persistent doorbell ringing.

WIBU to tell her to fuck off next time?!

OP posts:
LouiseTrees · 02/06/2020 23:00

You should have answered the door with, “I was on a work call and that was incredibly rude”.

ClaudiaWankleman · 02/06/2020 23:13

You should have answered the door with, “I was on a work call and that was incredibly rude”

'Incredibly' is a tad dramatic.

OP, you'd also be completely U to tell your MIL to fuck off for the cheek of popping by to say hello to her grandchildren.

Having to quickly jump on or off a call is a normal work thing, even more so now we are all WFH. I'm sure it barely registered to your colleague. Don't get yourself worked up over a small thing.

middleager · 02/06/2020 23:16

I get this with family (phone calls) and friends "popping by" even though they know I'm working.

MaverickDanger · 02/06/2020 23:18

We’ve had neighbours “just popping by” for the past few weeks.

I now sit with my headset on when I know they are walking the dog pretending to be on a call and just wave at them.

The same neighbours commenting on our lack of sun tans - well, yes. We are still working 50 hour weeks!

Healthyandhappy · 02/06/2020 23:49

I take laptop with me and the head sst on my ear and answer door quietly miming to person at door everyone then understands lol

TheGreatWave · 02/06/2020 23:54

I have read many a thread on MN over the years from people WFH that everyone thinking they are doing nothing and can do anything at the drop of a hat is quite normal.

There does seem to be quite a thought at the moment that the only people working are those in a hospital, everyone else is dossing.

MinesAPintOfTea · 03/06/2020 00:01

How old are DC? I managed to get my DM to come by and spend an hour in the garden (distanced) with DS whilst I kept working. Everyone was happier for it

Original poster
AlwaysDancing1234 · 03/06/2020 03:14

“OP, you'd also be completely U to tell your MIL to fuck off for the cheek of popping by to say hello to her grandchildren.“

During the last 10 weeks we’ve taken kids several times and sat on PIL’s drive so they can say hi to the kids. While DH was off for a fortnight we’ve said they can drop by to say hello (socially distanced) but they haven’t bothered.
It’s only when I’m home on my own with kids that they come round unannounced - feels like they’re trying to catch me out or something!

OP posts:
managedmis · 03/06/2020 03:21

I had this with SIL last week :'Oh, did your work give you something to do??' '

No, I'm just sat on my arse watching Bake OFF repeats.

The RAGE

managedmis · 03/06/2020 03:23

Having to quickly jump on or off a call is a normal work thing, even more so now we are all WFH. I'm sure it barely registered to your colleague. Don't get yourself worked up over a small thing.

^

Try telling that to my boss!

'Sorry, I just have to chat to MIL, back in a sec! '

Confused
Original poster
AlwaysDancing1234 · 03/06/2020 03:35

“Try telling that to my boss!

'Sorry, I just have to chat to MIL, back in a sec! '“

Exactly managedmis !!

OP posts:
Marnie76 · 03/06/2020 04:31

I would have told her. ‘Sorry I can’t talk, I’m in a meeting and working all day, I’ll shout the kids to come and say Hi but got to go. Bye’ Not too rude, not too friendly.

GnomeDePlume · 03/06/2020 04:57

I think some people just dont understand that it is possible to have a job which doesnt require physical presence or create a tangible output.

They dont understand that there can be real deadlines to meet even when wfh, that work cant just be put to one side. Someone is waiting for that report, analysis, process to be completed. They need it by X o'clock not 'whenever'.

FortunesFave · 03/06/2020 05:16

Why do you care?

Serious question? Why do you even give a tiny shit what she says or thinks about what you're doing?

Ask yourself...be honest. Is it because you want accolades about how much you do?

Praise?

Or is it because you think she's ignorant and want to enlighten her?

Or something else? I'm curious. I can't imagine getting this worked up about what my MIL thought or said about me.

Orangeblossom78 · 03/06/2020 05:20

OP I am finding PIL quite annoying at times, recently, keep going on about how wonderful it is to be sitting out, nothing to do in the sun etc

While many families are juggling things, very stressed and worried about their children, trying to home school etc

Maybe some people only see things from their own perspective.

grapesofbath · 03/06/2020 05:44

I get it, she's tone deaf and also has the classic "working from home is not working" attitude that many have. Tell her you can't answer the door between 9-6 or whatever your working day is and stick to it. If she keeps knocking during those times just ignore her! The message will sink in eventually. Mute your work call and say you're having technical difficulties if you need to stop for the noise.

daisypond · 03/06/2020 05:55

Having to quickly jump on or off a call is a normal work thing, even more so now we are all WFH. I'm sure it barely registered to your colleague

Eh? It’s not a normal work thing at all. If you’re on a call, you’re on a call, definitely not jumping on and off it to do something else.

Limpshade · 03/06/2020 06:17

My (retired, mortgage-free, generously pensioned) ILs came out with a classic over the phone last week:

"I don't know what all the fuss is about with lockdown, we're finding it really easy!"

Myself and DH are working 90 hours a week between us while also taking care of a 3yo and 2yo full time. He let them have it Grin

Orangeblossom78 · 03/06/2020 06:26

"I don't know what all the fuss is about with lockdown, we're finding it really easy!"

Yes it is if you have a good pension, paid off mortgage etc...I know we have had similar

ProtectAll · 03/06/2020 06:30

My PIL are shielding so no random visits thankfully also I have the eldest (now adult) grand children whereas all the rest are under 10 and they are much more interested in them. I think they have seen 1 of mine once when they dropped off some shopping to them. They aren’t even bothered with online chats to them but do with the younger ones daily.

They have never really understood that I work full time in a proper job and don’t think they would get that I now wfh and will be doing so for a long time. Hopefully when they can go out and about they won’t pop in for a chat. I have my parents trained and they rarely call me during working hours and would only come round if prearranged, I am now visiting them weekly as long as the weather is good enough to sit outside and if they need to see someone during the working week they can pick any of my siblings who are all furloughed.

My job is flexible in that some days I can hang washing out or unstuck the dishwasher but this is at my convenience if I am busy on a project or resolving a technical issue then my door is closed and I should only be disturbed if ‘the house is burning down’.

One on my D.C. (neither currently working due to coronavirus)gets this and helps around the house but the other doesn’t and was expecting me to answer the door for her parcel as they were doing a work out

stayathomer · 03/06/2020 06:36

You would be unreasonable to do that but hugs op, you sound like you're in the trenches. Try to have 1 nice thing for yourself or with the kids today, a game or something at the end of the day (we have a nerf fight/board game some evening)Cake

speakout · 03/06/2020 06:37

I am with you OP. My work is busier than usual, I am working flat out.
It is frustrating seeing everyone out sunbating, enjoying leisure activities. but I think many people are bored, struggling to fill their time, and perhaps concerned about the long trem security of their job.

Oblomov20 · 03/06/2020 06:37

I'm working 50 hours a week, mostly unpaid, so no time to sunbathe, clean, check Ds's work.
NO!
Hmm

pussycatinboots · 03/06/2020 06:43

Take the batteries out of the doorbell.
Pin a note to the door "Working from home, Do NOT Disturb"

Aridane · 03/06/2020 07:08

WIBU to tell her to fuck off next time?!

Yes, of course, that would be incredibly rude.