I haven’t got time to fucking sunbathe!

[AlwaysDancing1234]

PIL’s popped by unannounced today (to say hello to kids from the driveway) and MIL said “ooh you having a nice day day sunbathing”. NO I’M FUCKING NOT!

I’m working bloody hard 9-10 hours each day from home whist homeschooling the kids, doing all housework etc. I’m exhausted. DH and I have told PIL’s this but they still seem to think I’m at home doing nothing. I had to end a call with a colleague due to MIL persistent doorbell ringing.

WIBU to tell her to fuck off next time?!

Omg. Feel your pain Op. My FIL came up with my niece (11 year old who doesn't give a shit about about social distancing and neither does her family) on Monday to "sit in the garden" despite saying "We didn't know whether to come up because we KNEW you would be working" Yes, you fucking knew!! Spent 45 minutes telling my niece to "get out of my house, and get your grubby hands off of my walls, doorframes and doors, get your grubby hands and face off and out of my 10 months old face and went BALLISTIC when she came out of the toilet without: A) Flushing the loo and B) Not washing her fucking hands. I was livid. FIL then sat there and proceeded to tell me that he feels so sorry for DH that he's having to work such long hours in a place that he detests and that he's a sensitive soul because of "what happened to him when he was at school" for the 1 millionth time. Yes, must be so fucking hard (for you poor 42 year old little boy l) that he isn't in the house for 9 hours of the fucking day. Now get the hell out of my house and let me spend the best part of an hour having to disinfect it when I should be trying to get MY 9 hours worth of work in whilst trying to entertain a 5 year old and 10 month old.

Apparently when I was crying when DH got home, I was overreacting 🤬🤬🤬🤬

Having to quickly jump on or off a call is a normal work thing, even more so now we are all WFH. I'm sure it barely registered to your colleague.

Erm no it isn't. It is incredibly rude to do that in the middle of a work call or meeting regardless of where you are! Even more so if someone turns up at your house unannounced. Your colleagues are silently annoyed with you if you do this. Also we aren't all working form home.

Completely with you OP.

but the other doesn’t and was expecting me to answer the door for her parcel as they were doing a work out

This made me laugh as it sounds like my house .... if I see one more Pretty Little Thing parcel arrive I’ll scream

I find some of these replies a bit strange - I am WFH myself so understand lots of interruptions unhelpful.

However - when you are physically at work are people never interrupted or have co-workers stopping you working?

Oh my God I've had this. Because you're at home, you're doing eff all. We're doing IT all AT HOME.

when you are physically at work are people never interrupted or have co-workers stopping you working?

Interruptions would be for work queries, but would never happen in the middle of a call.

It WBU to say that you appreciate them coming by, but that they need to phone ahead as you are working and any visits need to be on your lunch break or after you have finished for the day.

If they ignore that, then you can start being a bit blunter.

I hate it how some people think that if your working from home your not really working!!im doing extra work and working longer hours while trying to help 2 kids with their school work, trying to keep the house looking like it hasn't been hit by a bomb and trying to keep sane!! It's hard and I miss going into the office,obviously I understand why, but understanding why doesn't make it any easier missing the social interaction the office environment gave you!

It's worse with being able to meet people in your garden because they can't help and we are expected to entertain.

Our garden is a mess. We haven't had time between 2 under 2. My husband with his own business. My fil said, you could've planted flowers there. I was like, I haven't had time to do anything let alone think about flowers. I would've loved to have planted flowers.

Boundless sympathy, OP. Why do people think working at home means working as and when you like with no deadlines and no colleagues to fit in with?

but the other doesn’t and was expecting me to answer the door for her parcel as they were doing a work out

Oh yes, that’s familiar 🙄.

I wfh usually so have a good setup but it is frustrating the amount of people who think everyone is sunbathing/ relaxing / bored with nothing to do!

My ex's parents used to go on at me all the time about me doing nothing. I work from home running two businesses. They enjoyed telling everyone in the village that I was just sitting around living the life of riley all the time while their son was working all the hours God sent to provide for me.
Utter bullshit. Ex was working hard but must of those hours God sent were spent drinking with workmates and going to a brothel.

It makes me really angry when people assume you are doing nothing because you are WFH. Comments like "oooh you're having a nice day sunbathing" are passive aggressive.
I think you need to have a chat with them and set up some boundaries. Tell them that as you are wfh it's not going to be possible for them to drop around unannounced at the moment. Also if the children are homeschooling they should have some kind of routine to this (don't know how you are organizing it) and therefore people calling round unannounced doesn't really help with that either.
They are welcome to come round but need to phone to arrange a suitable time because you are often busy with work calls and can't go to the door/can't take time out of the working day to chat because you have deadlines.
DH needs to be on board too.....

My ex (we weren't married thank God) didn't back me up to his parents as he also seemed to think that WFH meant I was doing fuck all and therefore he should be excused from any kind of household tasks.
DH really does need to back you up here!

Well said ! @FortunesFave

Sympathies OP.

I'm a freelancer and have worked from home for 26 years.
I have my family and friends trained well but MIL still phones up a lot for a chat when DH is not there. She asked things like

"Have you busy with work at the moment?" Yes, I've been busy for at least 20 years pretty constantly.
^
"You sound tired. I think you're doing too much. You need to take some time off to relax" yes I'm tired. I have 2 dcs now teens who seem to need more running around for and organising than ever. I'm working a full time job in part time hours. I actually worked until 2am for 3 nights already this week.
^
I actually snapped once when MIL referred to my career as my 'little job'. I told her very cuttingly that My little job paid as much as her oh-so-hard-working-Son 's job. My little job has allowed us to save money to allow us some comforts and my little job has kept our whole family afloat many many times when DH has been off work.
God it made my blood boil.

OP if I'm on a work call now I just won't answer the door. Next time just don't answer.

I've stuck a note to my door because neighbours/deliveries/people keep knocking
I can't answer because it's back to back calls for my full shift and I can't leave my desk! I've told my neighbours I'm WFH in a contact centre so no I can't come and join them for a distanced drink not like I can choose what hours to work

Covid aside my job is always wfh, and everyone thinks I do nothing anyway haha
I've given up trying to explain.

I think the way you handled it was unreasonable. Stay on the call, just unlock the door, smile, say "Glad you're hear, just on a work call" and dash back to call. Leave MIL to look after the kids. You don't even need to tell anyone someone turned up.

My own MIL once travelled 2.5 hours and turned up unannounced (pre-lockdown). The kids were on a trip for the next 2.5 days. She sat on the sofa whilst DP and I worked. She never turned up unannounced again.

Sorry boss, someone is at the door (which if the doorbell is ringing repeatedly I'm sure they know) back in a mo

Its not difficult

You are absolutely not being unreasonable - my MIL (89 and stuck at home alone) was so bored one day she rang one of our SILs that she doesn't really like rather than disturb me.

Having said that, I am in the "fortunate" position of not having any DC to entertain or educate, so have spent every lunchtime and weekend in the garden. I've never been so brown!

I get you OP. I'm so frustrated at people's inability to understand that it's not just key workers who are working.
I've never been so busy but add on home schooling a 5 year old and it's becoming unsustainable.

But according to my friend I've got it easy being able to sit at home and watch Netflix all day ....at least I don't actually have to go to work like her 🙄

It's chit chat. Don't take it so personally.

If it caused you problems with work ask mil to let you know in advance next time so you can organise it around work.

Sorry boss, someone is at the door (which if the doorbell is ringing repeatedly I'm sure they know) back in a mo

It's not just my boss I am on the phone to, what a strange thing to think that it would be.

Phone them and say you are working between x and y hours every week day, and it's absolutely non negotiable that you cannot answer the door, and only the phone if it's an actual emergency. Just be firm, unless they are going to actually break into your house which is another issue entirely, then even if they ignore you they'll get bored of knocking eventually.

Oh my In laws refuse to acknowledge that I work for a living at all. They consistently refer to me as "being at home all day". I work 3 days a week 8-5 as a teaching assistant!