Were you forced to clean your plate as a child?

[AtaMarie]

And what effect (if any) has it had on you as an adult?

As a child I had to clear my plate, even if it made me feel sick. There are certain meals I still can't eat as I remember sitting in front of them and trying to eat them for ages after everyone had left the table.

As an adult I struggle with binge eating - I just can't feel satisfied until I am on the brink of feeling sick.

To be clear, I know I can't blame my childhood forever, I am just trying to unpick my terrible relationship with food and wondered if anyone was the same.

Yes. I have a huge problem with binge eating and i have no off switch.

Yes. Also a binge eater. Interesting, wonder if there's a correlation...

I think my parents hit the perfect balance with this.

We were allowed to choose how much went on our plates (either through serving ourselves or having it served by a parents but asked how much we want - more/less ect). There were a couple of exceptions to this, mainly vegetables, but the overall portion we were able to control.

However once we had decided how much to be served we then had to clear our plates as we had asked for that much and otherwise we would be wasting food. Food in the pot was ok for left overs but half eaten food off of someone's plate was contaminated and not ok.

I think this worked great as it taught me to self regulate how much I eat, learn not to have eyes bigger than my stomach, and be aware that I can get more, but can not less.

Yes.

Yes. Massive binge eater, plus eat enormous dinners and finish every last piece. It's rare for me to decide I'm too full to carry on. I also find I continue to eat something even if I'm not enjoying it. Really, really wish I had an off switch

Yes and am also a binge eater.

i wasnt forced to no but we were very very poor and often i went without meals completely so if i didnt eat what i was given, there would be nothing else so id just be hungry. Theres food i cant eat because i associate it with those bad times of never having enough and i over shop for food because im terrified of not having enough to eat so i guess a different problem thats still wrapped up with food

Yes and I’ve had disordered eating ever since.

No.
I was a horribly fussy child but no fuss was made.
I now eat anything and have a healthy relationship with food and never had weight issues. I am determined to be the same with my child.

I think it was the norm when I was a child. Certainly in school you'd be expected to finish and ticked off if you didn't. My parents would expect us to eat most of it and you certainly couldn't say you simply didn't like something and ask for something else.

I don't think it is terribly healthy, no. I find it really hard not to finish what's on my plate, even if I am not actually hungry. I keep trying to remind myself it's ok to waste food, though it really goes against the grain. I think it's helpful to use a smaller serving plate, so you have to actively get up to get a second portion - sometimes even that tiny decision makes you re-think why you're really going back for more.

Following with interest . Yes it was a rule in our house growing up. I eat everything and don’t have preferences or cravings or choice in food

But yes I do not feel satisfied until completely bloated

Forced, no, absolutely not, but the expectation was that you'd finish your dinner unless really full, in which case you'd not want anything after.
Appropriate potion sizes were also served.
I did the same wirh Dd.
She's 18 now and has always been a great eater, however, she's an only child and I'm aware that further children may not have been.

Oh wow, so many of us. Has anyone found any solution/coping mechanisms for the bingeing?

@Scootingthebreeze I am the same - no off switch, and will continue mindlessly eating. Especially if it's something like chocolate, which I could eat in large quantities.

@baskininjoe that does sound like a good approach, one that sets you up for life.

@baskininjoe, can I ask, how did your parents present this to you as a child? And how early did they do it?

I'm asking because what you describe sounds really healthy, and exactly what I'd want to do with my DD. She is three and I try to involve her in deciding what to put on her plate, but I feel a bit lost about whether or not I'm doing it right.

Finshing everything wasn't forced, but it was encouraged, and rightly so. We couldn't afford waste and we'd be hungry later and asking for snacks. It wasn't a form of punishment/torture. it was just parenting.

Baskininjoe
What happened if you didn't want to eat the veg that you didnt have a choice about?

I had to finish everything on my plate as a child. On a couple of occasions I refused as it was something I really hated but was served up the leftovers for breakfast.
I guess I’m lucky in that I don’t have any food issues - except from still not liking the types of food I was forced to eat!

Another one here. Took about ten years to relearn how to eat -

Wow interesting.

My earliest memory of food was eating 2 sausages at my nans and asking for another, which I was given so 3. I was 2 years old and I got loads of positive attention for this - wow, look what you've eaten, aren't you good/ clever etc.

About 7 years old at a friends house her mum went mad when I didn't finish my food and said I needed to eat more as foods expensive. The mum was loud and bossy and scared me.

Grew up in a dv environment. At 9/10 had to live with family. One day I ate 4 jacket potatoes in 1 sitting because of the attention I was getting; wow look at you etc.

At 14 I became anorexic and didn't eat. Managed to hide it from friends / family so this wasn't about attention. My periods stopped which scared me into eating again.

On/ off late teens/ 20's I made myself sick after binge eating.

Nowadays I just binge eat for days then can go without a day here and there.

As others have said I'm not satisfied til I'm hurting full up.

I don't binge eat but it took me a long time to reduce portion size and therefore lose weight. I was massive as a kid and bullied because of it

"Finshing everything wasn't forced, but it was encouraged, and rightly so. We couldn't afford waste and we'd be hungry later and asking for snacks."

My DC often don't finish their dinner, but they don't ask for snacks later. I think kids have a better "off switch" than adults, and they are just listening to that, and we should respect it.

Yep always had to have clean plates and now I have major issues with food and greed, which means I'm very overweight. Think that's just how it was back then, my parents weren't hugely well off so wasted food was an issue.

Just a shame its impacted me for so long!

I try to focus on when I'm full but i can be sitting down to eat my dinner and already be thinking about seconds, like the portion I have is something to be got out of the way. I'll eat until I'm uncomfortably full because in addition to not really knowing what a healthy portion size looks like, I still find it hard to leave any of the food on my plate

I was made to sit at the table for ages and encouraged to keep eating, it never worked though as I'm just a small eater, and it never encouraged me to binge or anything.

I once hid some food in the cupboard in the same room and my Mum never found out.

I will never try and force my DD to eat and hopefully it will have a positive influence.

No was never forced to finish meals, got pretty healthy attitude to food, and never been over weight.