Were you forced to clean your plate as a child?

[AtaMarie]

And what effect (if any) has it had on you as an adult?

As a child I had to clear my plate, even if it made me feel sick. There are certain meals I still can't eat as I remember sitting in front of them and trying to eat them for ages after everyone had left the table.

As an adult I struggle with binge eating - I just can't feel satisfied until I am on the brink of feeling sick.

To be clear, I know I can't blame my childhood forever, I am just trying to unpick my terrible relationship with food and wondered if anyone was the same.

Yes. I'm also a binge eater and morbidly obese. I still have to eat everything on my plate and massive portions too

I wasn’t but then my dad was a fussy eater, I certainly didn’t with mine but with my cooking skills it would have been child cruelty.

As an oldie, it was always the thing that you had to do as children,(as war years) and food was scarce for lots of people, so leaving any food on your plate was considered bad. My late Mum, was not such a good cook,and sometimes dished up some pretty awful meals, but I had to try and eat everything that she had made. If I didn't. she would say it would be dished up for the next days meal.! It wasn't a case of her being a cruel hearted Mum, you just had to appreciate what you have been given in those days, no matter what.

Yes and also a big eater now, I have no "off switch" and can also eat sweet/pudding foods even when absolutely stuffed.
I really recommend some hypnosis; I have had odd sessions over the years and currently listening to a daily audio and it really helps me.

I wasn't, but DH had to. He will eat anything I put on his plate, even if it is a ridiculous amount and overflowing! He cannot leave anything on there as I assume it is so engrained in his mind!

I was made to finish everything I was served. My dad in particular made sure I got white fat as I hated it,but it was good for me. They'd take my dinner to my grandmas for tea! At school they made you finish as well. One day we thought we'd put all the nasty stringy bits on one plate. We were made to share it out and finish it.
I'm horribly overweight and have no off switch at all. At a buffer I eat as much as I dare.
I buy and eat healthy food but far too much of it.

In my earlier childhood, yes. But I was stubborn and by the time I was about 7 or 8 I could and did outlast them, and they gave up.

I have never forced a child to clear a plate and I don't make a song and dance about them having to eat food they don't like. MY DM thinks it is a travesty that I happily cook different meals for different people; apparently family life is all about making people miserable by insisting they sit and force down food they hate.

Yes but only at my nans house. Because of the 'starving children'

I can't think of any worse insult to people suffering from famine, than sitting there gorging yourself on more than you need. Gross.

I wasn't forced to finish meals but it was very strongly encouraged and if I didn't eat much would be called 'anorexic'. At home we had huge portions. As a young child (say 8 or 9) I was given the same sized amounts as my 6'2" dad who cycled to work and was on his feet all day. There was also a lot of attention on my weight as I was quite a big boned child. I found all this confusing.

Now, I will finish my plate however full and have a problem with binge eating and bulimia although I have had to rein this in to lose weight. I have zero portion control and manage my calorie allowance by having big servings of low calorie foods rather than a smaller amount of something 'normal'. My parents weren't forceful about food but it is something I would try and do differently if I have children.

Not usually no, once my Dad did on holiday - I vomited it everywhere at 2am so my Mum made him clean it up...

I had said I didn't want to eat it as I felt unwell, I was picky about food particularly textures.

Never made my DC either, always asked them to try a bit of foods they weren't keen on but respected that were things they just never liked.

Yes! I was a picky eater as a kid with a small appetite but was forced to clear my plate. When I was small, if I left any food my 'D'M would reheat my food so hot then force feed it to me. The food was so hot I'd have to swallow it or scald my mouth. She would proudly tell us this story a number of times over the years.

When I got a little older, say 7 or 8, I'd be dragged from the table and beaten if I left any food then made to sit there till I finished.

I ended up over weight with an unhealthy relationship with food. Even when I left home I still felt the need to eat everything in front of me. I'm much better now in that I will eat till comfortably full then stop. I'm still over weight but exercise regularly and I'm more careful about what I eat.

I was never made to clear my plate but do remember being about 8 I'd asked for fried bread on my breakfast and after taking a bite didn't like it ,my big sister made me sit there until I'd eaten it and then laughed when I was sick my parents were really mad at her for it . Reading this has just got me thinking though that my dsd always clears her plate so we have been putting more on for her thinking she is hungry but maybe it's just because she is worried about leaving some as her dad doesn't like food being wasted and encourages her to eat up

Never. I was taught that one should always leave a little for "Mr. Manners".

Yes but fortunately no long term impact. I don’t do it with my children though and I feel annoyed when DM starts trying to force my children to finish their plates. She says it’s because she was a wartime baby.

I was made to finish and now I overeat. Rarely feel full. I hate my relationship with food. I have pictures of me as a child sat crying at the table with my plate of half finished food because I just wanted to leave the table. Picture gets laughed at regularly (not by me). I don’t make my children finish their plates but it does irrationally irritate me every day when an hour later they are asking for a snack. I generally allow them autonomy over how much they eat but will not always say yes to the snack especially if they have left most of the dinner plate. I also hate constantly cooking for other people and being in the kitchen half my life. My whole relationship with food is so bad it makes me very sad.

Yes, also feel compelled to finish, am overweight, and never do the same to dc.

Up until I was about nine, food was rationed (after WW2). We ate reasonably well but snacks were pretty much non existent. I don't ever remember being forced to clean my plate thankfully and think it's obvious that could lead to having food issues later in life, as shown by some of the posts on here.

Yep. I spent most evenings sat on my own in the dining room trying to finish a plate of now cold food. Again, I think it came more from a frugal, food is expensive point of view than anything actively unpleasant. I do have big issues with feeling like I need to finish good now, I definitely overeat. Am overweight.

No. I was a very picky eater (even used to have food on separate plates, separate cutlery!!!) and rarely finished a meal. I often had a snack afterwards. I now generally eat most things, all on one plate and one set of cutlery only, but I still hardly ever finish my meal. I won't eat until I'm stuffed though and stop when I know I'm just full enough. Unless it is a special occasion, I don't eat dessert. I've been a healthy weight my whole adult life.

Sometimes. I just used to feel really full. I could always manage pudding though! I think it's because I used to have more of a sweet tooth. It's never made me binge, in fact, I still hate that full feeling. I've always preferred to eat little and often. It's made me never force my dc to clear their plate or eat certain things. I'll offer, but I won't force it. I'm sure my ex thinks I'm soft, but often the portions adults serve up for children are far too big for them to manage! I do let my dc have afters as long as they've eaten some of their dinner.

Never forced to clear my plate but learnt to wolf it down super fast instead of listening to my body.
Dad was a quick eater and the meal was over when he finished, he would take your plate off you even if you still wanted to eat. So we had to eat quick or be hungry later.

I left a job as a dinner lady at a primary school as we were told to not let children eat pudding unless they'd eaten all their dinner. I hated it. The cook used to tell us off if she saw kids taking food to the bin.

My mum used to say we had to, but when it came to it we didn't. We had suitable portion sizes too.

My friend had to clear her plate and she's got a very unhealthy relationship with food. I recently picked up her younger sister (she's 5) and she said "don't pick me up, [friend] says I'm too fat" so it's had a negative effect on the family

Yes. And I have issues with food as an adult. I remember one day in particular where I was made to stand in the corner of the kitchen holding my plate, tears streaming down my face, whilst my mother did the washing up. She wouldn’t let me leave until I’d eaten what was on the plate (I can’t remember what it was now).

I also described as ‘slightly overweight’ by a GP when I was about 15 . I had gone to see him about acne and he said that some of the medication might make me put on weight. My mother decided I needed to go on a diet (even though when I look at photos of myself then, there was absolutely nothing wrong with me weight-wise). One dinner time the rest of the family were all allowed apple pie but my mum said I couldn’t have any. When I complained I got sent to my room and later she appeared with an enormous bowl of apple pie with custard (probably about half a large pie) and forced it into my hands and stood glowering at me demanding I eat it all as I was so desperate for dessert. I ended up crying, refusing to eat the pie but apologizing to her. She eventually took it away but not before telling me this was all for my own good.

After that episode I went completely the other way, dropped loads of weight and came dangerously close to having an eating disorder in my late teens.

I have a good relationship with her now funnily enough but there were some periods from my childhood that were fucked up.

I’ve been up and down in weight all my adult life and just can’t seem to find a happy medium.

I was made to clear my plate, and if I didn't, I had to sit in the laundry room by myself with the same food for the next meal. At one stage of my childhood, I was force-fed - my jaw held open with a spoon of food put down the back of my throat. The woman who was responsible for much of this had eating issues herself, so she was obviously displacing them on to me.

I have had an ambivalent relationship to food. I have starved myself; and I have over-eaten, but I have always managed to pull myself back from the brink, whichever way I went. I also had an emotion-based attitude to food: if I was stressed, or in love, my appetite decreased to nearly nothing and the weight fell off.

What has changed, and still is changing this (because it is an ongoing struggle that ebbs and flows), is keeping active, and therapy.

Oh and the GP was a very young practitioner at the time, this was 18 years ago. He still works at my surgery but I would actually rather die than have him treat me. I feel he was incredibly irresponsible to tell a teenage girl and her mother she was ‘overweight’ when she was about four pounds over the ideal for her height and age