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Do most people have a terrible secret which could ruin their life?

500 replies

aurynne · 18/05/2020 07:59

Yesterday my DH and I were watching an episode of The Honourable Woman, and I found myself thinking back to all the movies, novels and series in which it appears that every character is carrying a dark, terrible secret which would ruin their life if it came to light. Often there is someone in the plot who, at some point, says something like "Everybody has a secret to protect", and the main character nods wisely, as if this was widely known and accepted.

I know it's fiction, but do you believe this is mostly true? Do you have a secret which, if revealed, would affect your or your loved ones' lives in a significant way? Of course I am not asking you to reveal it here (although if you wish, please be my guest, I am very nosey!), but please just feed my curiosity by saying YES (I have a dark secret) or NO (I don't have any dark secrets).

Personally, I think I must be very boring. The best detective in the World could not really find anything juicy to blackmail me with. My family is not going to find any skeletons in my closet (perhaps just some dust balls). I obviously have parts of my life that I prefer to remain in the private arena, but nothing worth going viral for, nothing that would really shock anyone or turn my life upside down by far if I published it today in The New York Times.

What about you?

OP posts:
QualityFeet · 18/05/2020 08:51

Yeah actually family do know but only really good friends do. It changes perceptions of me so I don’t share

DarylDixonsHair · 18/05/2020 08:51

Yes, very similar to @vampirethriller.

I'm not ashamed, and it probably wouldn't ruin my life as I don't care what people think and am actually proud I came through all that and am still standing. That said, I'm not offering up the information to everyone I know!

Nearlyalmost50 · 18/05/2020 08:51

Nope. Nothing earth-shattering at all. Only boring stuff from when I was younger which I doubt anyone would be shocked by.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

aurynne · 18/05/2020 08:51

Absolutely @SeriouslyRetro, secrets can have more or less power depending on how they're managed. I was once unfaithful to one of my boyfriends, but I told him myself, and any partner after that, including my DH, knew about it because I told them, so something that could potentially have been a dark secret became a known part of my life that people knew early. Something I am not proud of but that I did not allow to become a "secret".

Obviously, if what I had done was much worse, then there would be reasons I would want it to remain a secret. I'm glad so far it has not happened. I sleep really well at night.

But reading this thread I am thinking, in my next career I should become a professional blackmailer. I can just approach people at random and convincingly tell them "I know your secret", and demand some kind of payment. And if what this thread shows is statistically significant, I would have a chance of about 50% success Grin

OP posts:
Littleposh · 18/05/2020 08:52

There is a secret that could cause me a lot of problems but it isn't mine

FiveShelties · 18/05/2020 08:52

Am I the only one really interested in all these secretsGrin

Have one myself, but would never tell and would hate anyone to find out.

AJPTaylor · 18/05/2020 08:52

I don't. I know a few of other people's secrets that would harm them if the truth came out. Several that the people themselves told me. One that I found out from someone else. The one I found out from someone else I find quite entertaining. I worked out after I found out that the person must have though I had known because they sent me to Coventry in a fairly spectacular manner that I just couldn't work out at the time. We worked together and others commented on it, it was so obvious. Once I found out, i was amused because it was all of her own doing, I hate gossip and would never have passed it on and the only person who would have been/would be hurt is her dh.
The others confided in me and I would never break it.

thecatsthecats · 18/05/2020 08:53

It's a bit like the platitude of 'nobody's perfect, everyone makes mistakes'.

I mean, sure, it's true, but pretending that 'nobody's perfect' can excuse enormous personality flaws is a) dangerous advice when those flaws impact on new relationship and b) frankly insulting to those of us who've kept our noses clean.

A bit like 'everyone's got a past' - you mean the one where I was a straight A student who did no more than the usual teenage drinking, and has only ever been with my husband, together since we were 18?

(I'm not criticising anybody who did differently btw - both my husband and I would have happily shagged around at university if we hadn't had the misfortune of falling for each other. I just massively resent the implication that on one hand I must be boring because I don't have baggage, and on the other, that my good choices were for nothing!)

Mumdiva99 · 18/05/2020 08:54

Nothing that would impact my marriage. But there are things I wouldn't want being public knowledge. And I thank God every day that smart phones and videos on phones weren't common until after my worst exploits. - I would die if some of my days/nights out popped up on FB or YouTube 25 years later.....

oralengineer · 18/05/2020 08:54

Yes I thought it was buried but it resurfaced a few years ago. I think it has been reburied? It would cause family outrage but nothing further.
It is an itch I wouldn’t mind scratching but the consequences would be a big problem.

aurynne · 18/05/2020 08:55

@FiveShelties "Am I the only one really interested in all these secrets"

You're definitely not, just imagine how many awesome novels could come out of just this thread if everyone shared!

OP posts:
Equimum · 18/05/2020 08:55

There is an aspect of my past that very few friends know about. When I have told people, it changes the way they see me, so I tend to never share now.

Gallacia · 18/05/2020 08:55

Yes, I do.

Qgardens · 18/05/2020 08:57

No, I have literally no dark secrets and am not aware of anybody close to me having any.

It wouldn't be a dark secret if you knew, would it? Grin

GoFiguire · 18/05/2020 08:58

I had a one night stand with Boris Johnson.

SticksandStonez · 18/05/2020 08:58

Yes. But my closest friend knows. I know a couple of secrets of a family member that would have huge ramifications if they came out.

aurynne · 18/05/2020 09:00

@thecatsthecats I, for one, am very happy to be classified as one of the un-secreted unexciting members of society Grin

OP posts:
Stepawayfromtheminirolls · 18/05/2020 09:00

I have a shameful event in my past that my family, husband and close friends know (I don't let anyone get too close before I tell them so that they can decide to skedaddle if they want to!) I wouldn't want it to be public knowledge - I'd feel very uncomfortable in my current workplace for example and would probably have to move jobs! But nobody could blackmail me with it. Sorry OP, no money making opportunities from me!

mangoinafrillydress · 18/05/2020 09:02

Yes I do and I wouldn't want my family to find out that I used to escort and had sugar daddies in my early 20s. I'm so ashamed.

JoysOfString · 18/05/2020 09:02

No! I’m also amazed at the numbers.

My mum had an off-on affair throughout her marriage and I sometimes wonder if I or any of my siblings aren’t my dad’s - but even that wouldn’t blow anything out of the water as the whole family was so dysfunctional and my dad is dead now. I suppose she had secrets at one point though.

lovinglavidaloca · 18/05/2020 09:02

I do

ProseccoBubbleFantasies · 18/05/2020 09:04

Does MNing at work count?

RaininSummer · 18/05/2020 09:05

Nope. A friend once said that she didn't feel she knew me very well because I had never shared my secrets. I haven't got any and if I shared them then they wouldn't be secrets anymore would they?

YouDeserveFlowers · 18/05/2020 09:06

Yes I have a couple of whoppers that only my husband knows about.

One could have landed me in jail. The other would seriously upset my immediate family and I'm sure friends would judge me so that one I'll take to the grave.

NotQuiteUsual · 18/05/2020 09:07

Sadly no, unless I do and I just forgot. I used to make porn(as a photographer) which was a good old laugh at the time. I don't tell most people that in real life, because I don't want to answer the same questions about it over and over and I don't really want my parents finding out. Not because I'm embarrassed, but because I don't want to hear their teasing about it. I'm at a bit of a loss career wise right now. maybe I should get back into it?