Does anyone's dp not cook at all?!

[milkey]

Dp never ever cooks. At. All.

I hate cooking. I hate having the headache of planning what to cook every single day.

It drives me mad! And I will be teaching my ds how to cook as I don't want him being like this with his dp!

I envy all these mumsnetters who share the cooking. Most of my friends dps don't cook either! Where have you all found these men?!

"Several posters on hear have spoken about relatives who, on bereavement, are totally lost and unable to care for themselves. "

I don't understand that. Even if you can't boil an egg, you can make a sandwich or put something in the even. You're not going to die because the cook in the family's gone.

My DP does all the cooking.
But he loves it and I hate it. Also, he is an amazing cook.

"
@Gwenhwyfar washing up, vacuuming etc needs doing daily, even if there's just the two of you."

What? I live aloe and I hoover every other weekend. If there were two of us, it might be more frequently, but absolutely not EVERY day!!

As for washing up, I'll let you into a little secret: if you don't cook from scratch there isn't much washing up to do and doesn't necessarily have to be done every day :)

My husband very, very rarely cooks. He doesn’t enjoy it, doesn’t do it well and nobody eats it.
He does many other jobs though.

Mine! He even says to his friends 'oh ...wishes I could cook a meal for her' but doesn't bother!

Where have you all found these men?!

I refused to ever go out with anyone who wouldn't/ couldn't cook. Total deal-breaker, on a par with being rude to the bar staff or poor personal hygiene.

My dad never cooks. Ever. I was reading Germaine Greer when I was 15 and had long since correctly identified my parents' set up - both working full time, mum running her own business so doing paperwork/admin/ finances in the evenings, PLUS all the cooking and washing, while dad tinkered with the cars occasionally - as utter bollocks. No way was I settling for that (should probably add my parents are still together and seem happy enough).

Imo cooking is a basic life skill, akin to wiping one's own backside, and an able bodied man who can't/won't cook is a pitiful turn-off to me.

DH and I both cook. He's better at meat, I'm better at pastry & baking.

"Imo cooking is a basic life skill, akin to wiping one's own backside, and an able bodied man who can't/won't cook is a pitiful turn-off to me."

It's not though is it? You have to be able to prepare food, but you don't HAVE to cook from scratch.

I hate cooking so my DH does the lions share of it in our house.

@milkey does your DH have additional needs? Is he unable to read?

How does he work if he cannot follow written instructions?

DDad couldn’t cope (lived in college accommodation before marrying DMum). Family legend has it that on their second night married he asked ‘what’s for dinner?’ and was handed a recipe book. He did most of the cooking when I was growing up. He was appalling at all thing practical but could follow a recipe beautifully. Make them learn! (Even DGDad managed after DGM died (and he was born in 1920)).

My OH used to cook all the time and was great at it until slowly I ended up taking on the role of cooking the meals as our work pattern changed. I do 99% of the cooking now which is fine by me and actually easier. He seems to have lost his ability to cook without burning anything now or over the top seasoning, not to mention the amount of disruption he makes in the kitchen..

Yep to pitiful turn off. How can you even be attracted to a partner (male or female) who 100% relies on someone else to take care of them (barring disabilities of course).

In my 50s now and I have a fair few friends who have widower fathers who can't even make a sandwich and so their daughters are having to worry about them. Pathetic!

Several posters on hear have spoken about relatives who, on bereavement, are totally lost and unable to care for themselves

Graveyards are full of men who died shortly after their wives.

I wonder how many starved to death.

Yep to pitiful turn off. How can you even be attracted to a partner (male or female) who 100% relies on someone else to take care of them

My dh lived alone for nearly twenty years before we moved in together. He doesn't need anyone to take care of him. He obviously ate food in those twenty years...I guess he cooked reasonably simple things and ate out. He is just not interested in cooking...I am obsessed with it. I read recipe books every day...I watch cooking programmes every day. Just makes sense I do it.

How people live their lives is usually negotiated by them as a couple. That’s ok if it’s agreed and everyone is happy.
But some ways are better role modelling for kids and some ways are setting people up for a better future if something happened to you. If something happened to me I’d know my dh can cook clean and look after our children in every way. I do worry a bit he isn’t on top of the finances and budgeting and that we don’t both have all logins to eg electricity bills. it’s a plan to work on this year. Because it’s not ok that one of us might be left foundering and not able to take care of our dc if something happened to the other.

"Yep to pitiful turn off. How can you even be attracted to a partner (male or female) who 100% relies on someone else to take care of them"

Don't be silly. I don't cook, but I don't need anyone else to take care of me!

If you can read you can cook.

If your DHs aren't contributing to cooking it's because they're lazy fuckers, not because they're inept or "not good at it". Women are not inherently better at putting chicken nuggets in the oven.

When I met DH, he could not cook.
He DM even ironed his undies.
I would cook a simple meal 1 night with him helping.
He would then cook the same meal the next night to practice.
He now cooks on weekends.
DD’s also cook 1 night a week each.

If you can read you can cook

It sounds so simple.

I can read

I can’t cook.

Mine rarely does because I want to control what we eat and what it tastes like. If DP cooks, the veg is overcooked, the food is unseasoned and the portions too big.

I think the comment that men just do the showy cooking a bit unfair. My own and friends dhs do the day to day drudge stuff too. My sisters dh (a flipping surgeon) does most of the day to day cooking in their house which undermines the “my dh is a good provider and pays the bills so gets a free pass” argument 🙄

My DH cooks all our family meals, breakfast, lunch & dinner. He absolutely loves cooking and is a brilliant cook. He finds cooking a great way to de—stress. He started cooking when I had evening sickness during my first pregnancy, and has never looked back. I have a disability so cooking is dangerous for me, but I never enjoyed cooking anyway so I don’t think I am missing out.

I've never heard of 'ramen' before. Must Google

I'd never heard of ramen, but after googling it realised that DH has been regularly making something virtually for years.

He just calls it 'noodles'.

...virtually identical