Malteaser cake recipe - help a Catholic out

[Lunawuna]

Help on an Ecumenical matter please So I've been dipping into the world of traybakes - I can make a pretty respectable caramel square (nice, thick, chewy caramel!) and Mars bar crispy square, but I need a good recipe for Malteaser cake.

I tried the BBC Good Food recipe the other day and it didn't have that lovely feeling of your pupils dilating with the sweetness of it all like a good traybake normally has. Am I doomed to never get it right because of my lack of Prod blood? Help! How can getting the right ratio of digestive biscuits, butter, syrup and chocolate be so hard?!

I'm normally a good baker! Honest!

See my problem with driving is with directions. I’m terrible for getting lost.

I had a funeral in Dublin. I left at 6 pm and got lost. Arrived at 11.30 pm.
Luckily I had booked an overnight in a BB to stay the night before
I was like Mr Bean, rattling up and down all these country roads.

Well I’ve vegan condensed milk arriving on Saturday now. I’m not spending the sort of money the vegan supermarket charges for plain biscuits though, so I’m doing my traybake shopping in stages. I’ve not actually decided what to make, either - I’d an email offering me money off & I realised they might have brown rice (I last managed to get some from the other vegan supermarket) so went to look. Was right about the rice (& they’ve a 5-of-each-item limit, so my brother’s getting 2.5kg of rice) so went on to get the condensed milk for Eventual Traybakes... & then went a wee bit mad with some stuff you can’t get in “normal” shops (even now) plus chocolate oat milk as I can only get 3 cartons at a time when I do a shop & I don’t absolutely need to do a shop every week & as I don’t need-need to I’m not wanting to take up the slot

So now I need to think a bit harder about what to make...

I wish I was the sort of person who could just drive wherever. My best friend is like that, prancing down motorways about five seconds after her test. It took me forever to get mine. I've genuinely had nightmares about the Lisburn roundabout, and on the subject of garden centres, once refused to stop in at the Dobies there in case I lost my way coming out and ended up on The Roundabout

Marie you’re a bit like myself. I’ve went a bit mad on stocking up on certain things and putting them in our spare room. DH says if I keep on we’ll need a bigger house.
I suppose being vegan makes baking a little trickier but let us know how you get on and what you make.

When you come off the M1 that roundabout comes up pretty quickly.
I love Dobbies German biscuits.

I got a lot of good recommendations for cafes from the Classics thread for when lockdown ends.
Decisions, decisions.

Tomorrow
I’m not good with not having plenty of food in the house. Which was useful at the start of lockdown when I was missed off the list of shielding patients so trying to get shopping (I’d lots of people offering to get my messages for me but when I’ve to be careful with everything as I’ve allergies I didn’t want to give anyone the trouble) was a nightmare. It’s 15 years since I’ve had to worry about needing to feed a gaggle of teenagers on no notice and the heavy judgement of their parents & I certainly don’t shop for a family or anything, but I’m often stuck at home so shop with that in mind; & pay attention to special offers that actually ARE good offers. Other people look at the cost per sheet of loo paper right? Not to eat, to be clear... It’s easier with him being home now but I usually try to make sure I’ve enough food I can give my brother stuff for a few meals when he gets back from a conference/if he’s not time to shop/in his old job, when he’d been away for months. And atm am now on a quest to try to see him supplied with brown rice as he eats it most days & it’s been impossible to get from the supermarkets lately.

Still thinking (well, I’ve had a wee sleep, it’s not keeping me awake) about what to make. Was wondering if you could use these in place of maltesers (yes, vegan chocolate is depressingly expensive; can get a box of them on Amazon that works out as less per pack, thankfully) - I think in terms of weight:volume they’re probably fairly similar. Hmmm...

It’s really noticeable the difference in driving in NI - no one gives way or waves you out compared to where I am in SE England.

1 of DS favourite tray bakes is a crunchie 1, it’s only made by 1 bakery and I used to only find them in the filling station beside craigavon hospital ! I did have to do a special trip to get some to bring back for him ! ( they should do a special weight allowance exclusion of traybakes and tayto when flying out of NI)

Does anyone have a recipe? Wondering if I just could substitute mint aero for crunchies?

Eve Nigella does a Sweet and Salty tray bake with Crunchie in it. It also has peanuts. It's delicious. You can google the recipe, sorry I can't do links.

I'm a bit confused re letting you out or giving way.
Are you saying in NI they don't, whereas in SE England they do ?
Or the other way round.

I find driving in to Belfast really difficult, areas not well signposted in advance. It's a bit of a mystery how I end up at Castlecourt Shopping Centre.
I almost close my eyes and hope for the best.

Eve, does it have crunchies all the way through or just on top?

Are you saying in NI they don't, whereas in SE England they do ?

I find people far more likely to give way in England. In N Ireland people protect their bit of lane as if their life depends on it. Particularly outside of Belfast. It's like needing to change lanes is some kind of character flaw and you need to be taught a lesson.

On the traybake matter, if any of you are on Facebook, check out the Sugar Cloud Bakery. You'll nearly be in a sugar coma just from looking at the pictures. They used to have a shop, but sadly it closed and they just do orders.

But it's like N Ireland church traybakes crossed with fashionable modern baking trends. You could share one traybake between four people and still feel that you've overindulged a bit.

I hate this thread... I just googled Crunchie Traybake and there are lots of hits. Thank goodness I put my Ocado order in last night and can't edit it!

As an aside, Ocado offered me a packet of Fifteens as one of their Flash Sales at the end of checkout and I immediately thought of this thread.

Shop bought 15s should be illegal - they'll be a massively inferior product.😂

Thanks Marie.
I was thinking of substituting crunchie for maltesers and seeing how that goes.
I’d bought some to make a cheesecake and haven’t got round to it.
Off to check out that Sugar Cloud Bakery Isobelle.

To my embarrassment I have only ever driven into Belfast as far as the park and rides. If it don't Glide, I don't go. I get so ridiculously stressed, it's just not worth it

See if you make a fifteen mix minutes mallows and cherries, use that tinned caramel stuff instead of condensed milk, and add a good shake of rock salt and some nuts, it makes a very very good salted caramel slice

Minus, not minutes, though I eat it in seconds

Sugar Cloud bakery. Flippin eck. Showed DD and she just kind of wailed with longing

Thanks for the heads up on the Sugar Clouds Bakery - looks lovely. Always on the look-out for nice places to take my elderly mother.

Been on to look at that Isobelle
OMG I’ve had to give my eyes a rest.
I have no words.

It’s really noticeable the difference in driving in NI - no one gives way or waves you out compared to where I am in SE England. I think that's true where we are. It's actually quite comical - because they sometimes even wave someone on at a roundabout - and they do a lot of waving people on especially in London - they almost expect people not to know where they are going - which is potentially the opposite in Belfast. But Norwich would be firmly in the not waving anyone on camp, it can feel almost unfriendly.

Shop bought 15s should be illegal - they'll be a massively inferior product

Oh, I know that. I was just excited because I now know what they are 😂

If you're in or around Belfast, Scone Mad does scone delivery and I'd happily swap a kidney for her recipes...

I don't find driving in NI so bad, but possibly that means I'm part of the problem I've got lost driving around the Paris peripherique and have been suddenly funnelled into a whistlestop tour of Paris tourist attractions while baby DS1 screamed his head off in the back. Nothing will ever be worse than that for me

I accidently ended up on the Paris peripherique - dh was supposed to take over driving before we hit it...I was crapping it but it was fine...not that I'd volunteer to do it again!

I think dh basically closed his eyes and went straight when we were in Boston. We have avoided Paris, but got lost north of Madrid having escaped the city. Never go near Madrid airport in a hire car.

You are brave women driving anywhere outside of here.
I wouldn’t even tackle driving in the mainland, but then I’m a wuss.

You’ve not encountered aggressive driving until you’ve driven in South Carolina. DH has driven all over the USA and this is the only place he couldn’t wait to get out of.

We went to Paris on honeymoon and couldn’t believe their parking antics. They squeezed into a space not much bigger than their car by bumping back and forward pushing the cars either end out of the way.

I prefer my scones more like rock cake texture. Crispy on the outside and more like a bun in the middle. I’m wondering if you add more butter to the recipe?

I have to say that motorists in NI are very kind to me when I invariably get lost up in Belfast. They see the southern reg plates, probably throw their eyes up to heaven, but are kind and let me in or out.
I just wish the signage was better.
I believe that the councils should take a visitor to the area with them when erecting road/ traffic signs as the visitor will point out the areas of concern i.e. do I turn left or go straight on etc.
There's no point in a local deciding where the signs should go- they know the area too well !