Malteaser cake recipe - help a Catholic out

[Lunawuna]

Help on an Ecumenical matter please So I've been dipping into the world of traybakes - I can make a pretty respectable caramel square (nice, thick, chewy caramel!) and Mars bar crispy square, but I need a good recipe for Malteaser cake.

I tried the BBC Good Food recipe the other day and it didn't have that lovely feeling of your pupils dilating with the sweetness of it all like a good traybake normally has. Am I doomed to never get it right because of my lack of Prod blood? Help! How can getting the right ratio of digestive biscuits, butter, syrup and chocolate be so hard?!

I'm normally a good baker! Honest!

Yes we were in the lido, it was very cold despite it being a warm day! It's a lovely thing to have and a fabulous park.

Marie, you’re right. Thank goodness for doggy bags.

Have you ever tried baking anything with the vegan substitutes?
I volunteer to be your guinea pig to taste them when you do
Where is this Lido?

I’m still working my way through my Lemon squares even though I gave some to my Dsis and her neighbour. They did make quite a lot.

Are you a cat owner Egg?

No current resident cat, I keep hoping a cat will arrive despite a resident dog. Next door has a cat who visits, she is tiny despite being fed by about six households.

You’re actually ahead of me having visited the lido in Brockwell Park eggandonion - I really want to visit, but that plan’s on hold for the foreseeable...

Tomorrow - I’ve been baking cakes for years using various vegan margarines, dairy-free milks & oil. When I still ate egg I made a pretty nice dairy-free Swiss roll, but the amount of beating that mix needed (I’ve no mixer, everything gets done by hand, which can be a slight issue with joint issues!) fairly wrecked me. The first time I made it I’d only seeded jam in, too, so I’d to sieve it as well as heat it. I’ve not tried out the egg replacements you can get - those are much better now apparently. That first try at a Swiss roll I took to a party YEARS ago now, with a load of other dairy-free cakes. There was someone else there who couldn’t have milk at all & I thought she might cry at there being so much food she could have. When I make cakes/biscuits for church there’s a wee lad with food allergies who actually dances he’s that excited to be able to have a treat like the others. I am HIS Cake Lady (title conferred once we established I am indeed a grown-up & not One Of The Big Girls). It’s traybakes I’ve yet to explore veganising. Other than marshmallow krispies & cornflake cake type-things, I mean, which can’t exactly be called traybakes. (And flapjacks, but again...)
I used to post flapjack & traybake to my College children after I graduated. And indeed to other friends who seemed In Need Of Sugary Treats. And my wee sister, of course, though she’s been well able to bake (& cook) for herself since she was a teenager.

Inspired by this thread that I've been lurking on I made the Malteser tiffin linked to earlier on.... so good. Thanks

Oh, that looks good Sarah I shouldn't read this thread when I'm hungry

Sorry but to save me trawling through all posts atm, did someone have a traybake for Bakewell tarts? Just really have a yearning for them. Thanks.

@Grrrpredictivetex, I looked through my YWG recipe book and this was the closest I could find. Almond slices.
Maybe one of the other posters has another version.

Where is everyone? I can only assume 1 of two things.
You’re all busy baking.
You’re all at the garden centres.

I'm delerious with joy, DH just came back from the garage with these

I go to garden centres for the food, they're no use to me yet

I did bake a cake the other day, to use up half a jar of lemon curd that had been in the fridge for a while. It was very, very good and extremely easy. allrecipes.co.uk/recipe/26168/easy-lemon-curd-cake.aspx Putting the lemon curd in made it very moist and the balance between lemon and sugar was just right for me - noticeably tangy but also sweet. I used a bit more lemon curd than the recipe said so as to empty the jar - so maybe 3 tbs lemon curd. Made it in 2 1lb loaf tins and it was done in under 30 minutes.

I've just been browsing that janespatisserie site - wow! I haven't had mint Aero for a long time but I see she has several recipes using it. Very tempted by the Mint Aero rocky road. What's the difference between rocky road and tiffin?

@Tommorrowsanewday thank you.

I managed to get glacé cherries, almond essence, marzipan and mint flavouring today.
Have the ingredients for DH Brides’ slices but still no condensed milk. I got excited when I spied 12 tins on Amazon but they’re looking over £3 a tin. I don’t think so.

When I munch my way through the Lemon squares, Mint squares and Pineapple delights are next on my list.

I may start halving the recipes as 20 is too much to get through.
Never thought I’d hear myself say that.

Last night I read through the 1000 comments on the Classics thread.
Enjoyed the craic and recognise some of the posters on this thread.

Flavia, your husband knows exactly how to keep you sweet 😉.
Letting the side down but I’m not a garden centre person either.
WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME???

I posted a letter this morning and we are going to the vet later, that is complicated by social distancing. Baking will be tomorrow. I have almond essence now. There is loads of condensed milk here, traybakes are not a thing. People yap for hours about soda bread when it is really wheaten bread. If I make it it's like a rock.

He does tomorrow

I tend to choke at the price of the actual garden stuff, I grow a bit but it's mostly stuff I can eat it's an ongoing theme here from seed or cuttings so it's far cheaper!

I love the strange selection of cuddly toys, lamps, candles and things in posh garden centres, I buy a couple of plants, then I'm exhausted so need a sit down in the cafe.

I was asking DH about the possibility of growing some vegetables in our back garden.
He grew some great stuff when he was a teen in his parents garden.

He was all keen but I chickened out as I’d be the one looking after them as his job seems to eat up the hours and our cat would probably use it as a toilet 🤮.

The place I get my car serviced is just across the road from Dobbies and I would nip in to pass the time.
I find myself saying, I saw that cheaper in Home Bargains/B&M 😬

Life is more exciting, before we go to the vet we will be going to the pharmacy. This is the biggest social whirl in weeks. Both are in small industrial estates so nothing to look at.
I will bake tomorrow - I need to stocktake the fridge and ingredients and workout exactly what I can combine.
There was a thread a few years ago where someone refused wild blackberries as animals could have weed on them; I'm fairly sure all produce is at risk. A bit like the threads where home baking goes straight to the bin in case it's contaminated. Horrifying stuff.

Everyone in Northern Ireland is raised eating other people's home baking and I've never heard of anyone dying of it.

I can only conclude that either we are much cleaner than everyone else or we are made of much sterner stuff

I’d put my money on the latter, recalling a famous quote
‘It’s clean dirt 😂.

I remember that thread about the blackberries. I was horrified. They walk amongst us.

I love Home Bargains but haven't been in weeks and keep chickening out of driving to my nearest ("near" being up for debate) I'm not the world's most confident driver, I need to drive regularly to keep my backbone, and lockdown has totally scuppered that one.

Still no condensed milk. Day #23 and desperation setting in. I am going outside, and I may be some time

Family member reliably informs me that Cafolla's is doing takeaway now, so that's ok, don't all rush at once now ladies.

I’m not a confident driver either Beatrix. I only do it out of necessity but let DH drive at every opportunity.
Although it isn’t the closest to me I go to the Home Bargains at Holywood Exchange. I’ve been arriving for opening at 9 o’clock. There’s about 20 people queuing already. I’ve sussed arriving for about 9.30 is better.
It’s a massive store, nice and spacious and great savings to be made.

I had to pick up my new mixer today from Argos. My previous one going on fire! It’s in the Sainsbury’s store, which I don’t use much so I took the opportunity to search the baking section.
It was like Moses wandering in the wilderness.

I'll drive anywhere, I know no fear. People in N Ireland drive so aggressively that I remember driving round the M25 for the first time and saying to my husband 'I don't understand why this is regarded as the worst road in the country, look how polite people are, they let you change lane if you need to!'. Anyone who is scared of the M25 hasn't tried the one way system in Lisburn

What always amazes me about the people who don't trust other people's cooking and wouldn't touch homegrown or foraged produce is their touching faith in the hygiene of the stuff they buy in the shops.

Indeed, they are very trusting. I'm more careful if I'm cooking for people outside immediate family as I assume we all have immunity to each other's germs.
We all hate that dual carriageway north of Newry past the shopping place at Banbridge. In fact we have to nip in to the cafe in the art gallery on the opposite side of the road to have a coffee. It's got a lot of yummy mummies in in. And suki tea which my Dd2 approves of.