I cannot do this until September, I just fucking can't

[Elmerrrrrrrr]

The press conferences today with Raab and Sturgeon saying it won't be safe to reopen schools any time soon have just sent me into a tailspin. I'm at home with a 3 year old on. Both dh and I are lucky enough to have jobs (for now) but we still work a 40 hour week and both of us have constant calls and meetings. It is impossible to work around ds. Neither of us can be furloughed as we are paid from public funds. We live in a 2 bedroom flat with no garden. I'm used to seeing my mum 3-4 times a week and ds cries every day because he misses her. Every day is relentless and we are working until midnight and getting up at 5 to fit everything in.

I can't do this until September. I just cant.

@Flopjustwantscoffee can you lay off on the bashing of childless people please?? FFS.

I’m so confused. Are we allowed to see people if they have also been isolating for 6 weeks? Because I thought we could only see family members we lived with but loads of people are saying to go see your mum or GPs can take grandchildren for a few hours

@HavenDilemma are there any local groups who could help with shopping? It sounds really shit

i know it's hard OP and tomorrow when you wake up you will feel a little bit better - we all have bad days.

Write a list of things you can influence:

1. Talk to your boss - I am senior at work and have been understanding of all my staff who are working with children at home. I have also made arrangements to spend 2 hours each morning not working (I will take calls) and concentrating on home ed.

1. Your partner needs to do the same. Between you you can cover a few hours a day when you can take it in turns to watch the children

1. Go out for a walk every day during the day - in the sunshine.

1. Speak to your bank - about a mortgage holiday

1. Look at leave - can you both take unpaid or paid leave over the summer.

There are practical things you can do. I have many children and am at home wtih them all alone with a full time job. I have days where I am exceptionally stressed. But those days pass. Fresh air, some focused time with the children, and a reduction in standards the rest of the time, really help me. and wine

@Pursefirst I’m not at all! A few years ago I would have been one! I think it is probably difficult for them as well in different ways (it’s difficult for everyone) my point was the op mentioned she felt bad asking for consideration because no one else had children so wouldn’t understand her situation. I argued that if other people were finding it easier to get work done surely they could pick up the slack for the op where possible. (I know that childless people wfh might also have issues, be that caring responsibilities for other people or just mental stress from all this). Genuinely sorry if it came across that way, I think it’s shit for everyone and we should all recognize it and help each other where we can

Take a deep breath. What are you grateful for? A job when so many are losing theirs? A job you can do from home so you’re not risking your life to support your child? A home you can pay for? Food you can pay for? A partner you love? Your health? Your child? Your mum who is healthy and willing to help you out? There is so much to be positive about just there, OP. Count some chickens. Appreciate what you have. You have much to look forward to. This will pass, slowly, but it will pass.

Fair enough @Flopjustwantscoffee I think everyone is a bit on edge and ratty (myself included obviously). I apologize for snapping at you.

I'm sorry I know you.mean to be helpful but gratitude does naff all when you are trapped in a proper mh spiral

@BasilDiffuser if you’re at risk with mental health, you’re vulnerable.
Helping vulnerable people has always been allowed.

BasilDiffuser

No, the guidance is to not mix households. However as mentioned up thread we all have to make out own risk assessments to a certain degree and if someone is feeling especially vulnerable, on the verge of a break down and suffering with their mental health, then finding support in parents or grandparents could literally save a life. Do you really need that explaining to you?

Childminders closed last so they will likely open first I would look into that

@Pursefirst yes, I just reread and realised I made it sound like all childless people pull sickies, I didn’t mean that, I just meant that op shouldn’t compare herself to others negatively when she sounds like generally a hardworking person ( not because of having kids, just because)

Take carer's leave. Talk to HR about it if you're not sure about what policies are in place. It really is an impossible situation and you have to prioritise your sanity. You can't continue to work like this. But maybe you can do heavily reduced hours if it helps your employer.

There isn't HR. We don't have an hr person or dept, it is just the CEO

I manage people and I don't expect people to be able to work in your situation. I actually have one member of the team who's exactly like that (2 parents working full time and a toddler) and I don't expect him to be able to clock full time hours until the situation with childcare gets better.

@Flopjustwantscoffee No sadly not. They're all focusing on elderly and extremely vulnerable. I doubt they'd do a full shop for us anyway.

Get a home delivery slot is sooo hard!

I like these words OP.
Sorry you are having a tough time. Trust me, you are not alone.
Lean on the people you can, use the resources that help and go easy on yourself.

Go away user and maybe rtft and don't jump on me

why are people so horrible

If there is no HR you have to talk to your manager. But the remaining advice still stands, you're unable to work full time (or maybe at all) until the situation with the childcare improves, and you need to take carer's leave until then. Ask your manager for carer's leave policy.

user, the op's 3 year old child goes to nursery which presumably she pays for specifically to facilitate her working.

So your opinions on schools aren't needed here

Sorry OP, I haven't read all the posts so apologies if this has been covered. Is there an option for exceptional leave? Or how about formally reducing your hours? Or can your GP sign you off work just now? You sound like you need to urgently take some time.

I realise it's always difficult to tell someone that you are not coping, but this is the time for that conversation. Very best of luck to you.

I sympathise but I’m stuck in a one bedroom flat on my own and won’t likely have a job if furlough subsidies end before my customers are properly back up and running. It’d surely be worse if your house was at risk of being repossessed.