What’s Happening on Your Local FB Site?

[frankie001]

Some bits of humour on our local
Site. Last night some one posted that they had rescued a hamster or gerbil and asked if anyone was missing it. Turned out to be a baby rat, after she showed a picture.

Outrage over hand sanitiser prices here, with photos of the offending price tag in a nearby corner shop. The pitchforks were out in large numbers with threats of calls to Trading Standards and boycotts. Then it all went a bit wrong when someone checked the size of the bottle and calculated that in pence per ml it is cheaper than supermarket prices . It has all gone quiet now. I guess the lynch mob have diverted to Tesco.

a totally unfounded rumour has started that the council has closed the local big park. Now anyone who mentions visiting said park is torn limb from limb by facebook vigilantes.

Somebody wanting to know where to buy artificial grass, someone moaning about a footpath that's been closed off, someone else complaining about fireworks last Thursday evening, somebody else whingeing about people riding bicycles on the pavement. I stopped reading after that.

Reminds me why I hid it all

Bonfire/bin complaints
Book/toy clearouts at the end of drives
How big is the queue at Morrisons?
What takeaways are open?
Why don't the staff in McColls ever smile?

Lots of moaning about other people telling them what to do. They are visiting whoever they want and none can stop them. And why should they queue for the supermarket when they are allowed to go out to work. We also have a local "Freeman on the land"
To be fair almost all locals I see are being very sensible, its just the Facebook page.

An awful lot of curtain twitching

“Oh my god, I’ve seen a camper van, there’s tourists everywhere”

B&Q murderers, alongside a photo of the queue outside B&Q - taken by someone standing next to the queue outside B&Q

Lots of “it’s so busy, it’s like a normal day out there” posts

A rant from an ASDA worker about people buying clothes while doing their shopping

“Just stay the fuck at home” posted over and over and over and over

Someone is getting their knickers very twisted over the mobile Covid-19 testing station - if people have symptoms they shouldn’t be going out to get tested, spreading their corona-germs everywhere. Just stay the fuck at home.

It’s quite depressing really.

There's a lot of chat about painted rocks that you have to find and move on. Or something.

There’s an epic hoohah about an owl that people think someone has as a pet, as cats are bringing dead chicks (chicken not the owl’s!) and are infuriated at the hooting.

There’s at least 2 posts a day and it’s becoming more and more amusing every time.

@Sparklingbrook I keep seeing the same. In a town beginning with D?
I do wonder if every time people pick one up and re-hide it, if they are then dowsing themselves in hand sanitiser.

Oh, and we have a “breaking news” FB group. Run by a local wannabe journalist, he uses it to get his minions to post about things he can go out and investigate and write about in his shit rag.

It’s full of shite like

“Just seen a helicopter over my house”
“Police on b&2s just gone down Xyz Road”
“50 people in the queue outside The Range”

I cannot imagine being so bored I’d count the people in the queue outside the bloody Range

Lots of good stuff on the local Nextdoor, we don't have a local facebook.

Moaning about dog poo bags everywhere.
Flapping about white metal boxes that have surreptitiously been appearing on the paths. Fears that it's 5G poisoning us but it turns out that it is Virgin fibre broadband boxes.
Requests for people to make scrub bags.
Ranting about a massive party held on Sunday in a Victorian factory building. Lights, DJ the works!!

So mostly moaning but quite entertaining.

Yes @EyeShipMiceElf and a cuddly Bosch boiler?

Just had a nose in my local group...

Someone has posted a photo of the screen of their laptop asking if anyone can tell what's wrong with it .

There's a petition for the local tip to reopen.

A woman who seems to have appointed herself to check the stock at ALL of the local shops and do big rambling lists/posts every day.

A missing cat. Some dick asking for a phone number they could quite easily find on google.

And fifty million videos of people who've filmed themselves, their family and their whole street clapping, banging saucepans, etc - because if you didn't put it on social media and make sure EVERY fucker knows about it, it doesn't count

Ever experienced deja vu? I keep having a dream about a place where I grew up. I've never been there so I thought it was just somewhere I dreamt about.

Today on my Facebook feed this place, or somewhere that looked very much like it, popped up on my Facebook feed.

Flytipping, a murder which was filmed and is currrently being forwarded around SM, really shit ideas about what to do if your kids are bored, flytipping and what times are the shops opening?

I am so of the 'is this anyone's cat, it's been in my garden for a week' posts. I have never had a cat turn up in my garden.

Lots going on here.....

'Lost turtle'
'Bonfire outrage'
'People treating local cemetery like a public park, apparently there was even a man, minus his shirt lying on a bench sunbathing'
'2 foxes found shot dead by air rifles (lots of posts fox lovers v. fox' haters)
'Notices that the local Londis has both toilet paper and flour for sale'
'Posts sharing learning resources for home schooling'
'CV memes'
'Pheasant seen entering local golf course'

Our village page erupted a few weeks ago as there was a troll account from what has been established as a conman who is awaiting trial but getting police protection living in the village
All the ins and outs of what’s he’s done
On the plus point just before that the village was splitting into lifers (people with 6 generations in the graveyard) v blow ins anyone not connected to the 9 founding families of the village (it’ always joked there is a lot of inbreeding)
Now every last post be it is there toilet paper in the shop or there are cows loose get blamed on said con artist so
Toilet paper - fs Carl bought them all
Cows loose - fs Carl messing again
Usually accompanied by tiger joe memes

-What's the queue like for Tescos right now.

• What take aways are open/delivering.
• Has anyone got a spare wooden pallet (everyone decided to become pallet craft experts/pallet garden designers when it was nice and sunny).
• What's that bloody noise - as apparently midnight is a good time to do massively loud road works on the M25 . I expect the village Facebook to get quite grumpy later as we are now all sleep deprived.

Lindy2 yeah what is the deal with wooden pallets? And why do so maybe people have pallets in the first place.

Many people. Not maybe people.
(my auto correct on this phone is so annoying)

Complaints about the local school setting too much work/not enough work
Missing cats
Lost purses
Instructions to do the 1 minute silence this morning
and an invitation to a street party

Lots of “lost” cats here too. And how long is the queue at ... questions

Ours is a nightmare so much so I recently u followed

Every post is “ blah blah isn’t social distancing”, “ just been Morrison’s and xxx took their kid 😱😱” etc etc

I’m sick of it

It’s negative and encouraging neighbours to turn on each other and I’ve told them so

Awful

They’re doing more harm than good by allowing such posts

Let people sort themselves out and stop others slagging off each other

Lots of photos of sunsets and the beach, for the folk not able to get out. Also photos of books and dvds we are now leaving in boxes on our doorsteps for people to help themselves to - a few wisecracks about someone putting out the dvd of "Contagion".