What’s Happening on Your Local FB Site?

[frankie001]

Some bits of humour on our local
Site. Last night some one posted that they had rescued a hamster or gerbil and asked if anyone was missing it. Turned out to be a baby rat, after she showed a picture.

The local group has now banned posts of people giving away shit outside their houses. It’s getting a bit competitive. Started off with people offering half a pack of nappies or some baby milk now people have boxes of toys and books outside their houses “all wiped down”.
Photos of nice walks.
People being angry with the chemist/health centre for not being fast enough with their prescriptions
“What is that banging noise?”
A person complaining that a cat keeps visiting their garden complete with photo of cat eating ham they’ve given it 🙈
Local councillors competitive virtue signalling.

Usual Shit
Takeaways open
Queues at supermarket
What time the chemist is open

I shouldn't complain because last year someone started a petition about dh's company building houses on land that was up for sale. There was uproar about it, with many signing the petition. It got worse when someone commented that they were sure his wife was on the group 🙊.
Phase 1 was sold within days. Phase 2 has not been released yet. They now post asking if anyone knowns what date they are going up for sale. People are bloody weird.

I'm not sure we have any local FB groups so had a look.

And found video of the street ours is off of them all singing We'll meet again on Thursday with speakers printed sheets and everything

We’ve had:

• People who uses BBQs during lockdown are selfish
• the ice cream man shouldn’t be coming round
• I live alone so anyone who doesn’t say hello to me as they pass during a walk is selfish
• you shouldn’t walk by the canal as towpaths are only 1.8m wide (they’re not - they’re massive by us, and there’s a huge flight of locks providing a passing place every few metres)
• the local shop is robbing us all blind
• can everyone please stop going for their walk at 5pm as that’s when I want to go and it’s too busy?
• why are you all going to Sainsbury’s when Aldi isn’t as busy?

And, of course, absolutely loads of kind, generous, supportive, community-spirited stuff. But where’s the fun on that?!

We've had some weirdo sharing photos of their ventriloquist dolls to "cheer everyone up". Creepy as hell.
Several men asking where they can get their haircut, because they're "desperate", followed by lots of angry replies about social distancing.
People complaining about teenagers.
A woman asking for sticks to be left outside her door.
Complaints about bangs from bird scarers in farmers' fields traumatising dogs.
Complaints about bonfires.

Soft toy found in the woods
Night vision hedgehogs
Fitness video thing
Someone telling off a boy racer..to the driver of the blue Audi that flew past me blah blah - he isn't reading this love! And if he is, he doesn't care!

Nothing about helicopters but chinooks go over our area all the time so we are immune to all but the search helicopter that hovers around at night for an hour or so

My town Facebook group had banned posts about "individuals not social distancing or anything to do with the lockdown" so is fairly quiet. They've also asked people to post fewer photos of the local area "it's like people have never been outside before!"

Not sleeping so had a nosy on ours.
Someone asking for a kitten as her cat has sadly been run over.
Someone selling rainbow car stickers with Thank You NHS written on them. Price £5 each.
Someone saying make the most of lockdown and get your bathroom refitted.
Someone selling roller garage doors.
It's bloody weird!

Our page is fairly quiet, but there is a breakaway group, called >village name < no moaning c allowed. Which is full of moaning c.
The nearest town page is dog poo/ flour/ old lady needs shopping stuff, until Wednesday when the vague threats of "y'all better be clapping tomorrow at 8pm", start, ramping up to the OUTRAGE that number 15 weren't banging their saucepans, then Friday is spent disecting the events of Thursday, who clapped the loudest, who moaned the most, then they move onto "who's dancing on their doorstep on Sunday" and someone always puts in a request for Me Btightside.
Last week the mob attacked a car being driven down the street as the driver was "disgusting for not supporting the NHS, she should be ashamed bla bla" until the driver got out wearing her nurse's uniform.

Mainly people still ranting about the number of cars on the road and wondering where they are all going. Mind your own bloody business.

Julie is still moaning about people driving to go for a walk, as the virus is definitely spread on car tyres.

Lost cats
Lost keys
Lost pandora bracelet (it's always Pandora)
Stolen bikes
Stolen motorbike with cctv footage
Sunset pictures

Found cats
Found keys (and photos with a bit obscured)
Found bikes in hedges

Weirdly none of these match with the lost/stolen items.

No found bracelet or motorbike

No rants other than 'to the scum who stole...'

All quite dull and reassuringly normal.

Lots of stuff about which shops are open/delivering/what they’ve got in stock .
Lots of rock hunting.
A couple of luxury cars have been very badly vandalised.
One chap is uploading beautiful photos of birds he’s spotted on his walks with a bit of information about them.

Apart from the card, it’s largely positive and friendly stuff.

People who can't sew are making scrubs....badly. When suggested they donate the material to someone who can sew, all hell broke loose.

Everyone is running the London marathon round their garden. Then getting pissed off that people are getting donation fatigue and they haven't managed to raise any money.

Nice photos from walks.

Lots of praising or shaming local supermarkets.

Lots of offers of help. Although I think one particular poster is regretting putting 'I'm off to the supermarket, does anyone want anything?'

Vigilantism seems to have died a death which is a good thing.

Oh we've had helicopters too.

moaning about too much traffic,
I was driving to the shops and there were so many people shopping, kind of thing
sarcastic comments about what is and isnt considered Essential
missing cats
Bonfire angst
hilarious post about a llama being on a public foot path

Where can you buy flour posts also

The Chippy is open!
The pub is doing takeaway
I’ll fit your vinyl
Buy my healing crystals
Buy my NHS knitted doll
Clap for carers -you’re all sheep-big argument ensues
Come take my kids old toys and broken puzzles under the guise of community spirit
Look nature!
Keep the bastard tourists away fuckers
Oh business misses the tourism support us
Fucking cyclists enjoying their leisure time outrage
Outrage generally
The end

And a new exciting entry of someone who has found a wallet but won't describe what it looks like or its contents so that it can be 'returned to the genuine owner'.

Thanks for that Sherlock🕵️‍♂️

competitive benevolence sums ours up perfectly.

Along with a daily steam of posts about which takeaways are open.

Some highlights from my village group-

Is the Chinese open tonight

Look at this artwork I did of Captain Tom dresses up as a superhero

What song shall I blast round the village tonight as we all clap for the NHS (lots of complaints about the volume of music disturbing people, lots of replies about community spirit)

Does anyone want this half used tin of paint

Naming and shaming of terrible drivers, of which there seems to be an abundance

Some witty person constantly posting terrible jokes that no one replies to

Three main topics on our village one at the moment.
Who's are the scrambler bikes - round and round the village at all hours. Police are involved now.
Who's is this cat
Rocks.

Why do people pick the rocks up though??? My dc certainly aren't allowed to.

When is the supermarket or pharmacy open. Also how long is the queue.
Which take away's are open
Where can you buy flour/ yeast
Remember to clap on Thursday

Walkers moaning about inconsiderate runners
Walkers moaning about inconsiderate cyclists
Dog owners moaning about inconsiderate parents
Parents moaning about inconsiderate dog owners
Runners and cyclists moaning about being moaned about and posting lists of the benefits of running and cycling

Mine is a bit boring at the moment.
When the panic buying started it was full of “where can I buy hand sanitizer/baby wipes/nappies/toilet paper and formula milk” generally from people who we’re just too lazy to go out and get it themselves and just wanted to somebody to get it for them.

Now it’s the same people constantly asking what the queue is like in Asda/Tesco/Aldi and when anybody points out that it’s pointless asking because if it was quiet it won’t be now because so many people will have read the replies they get a backlash back for stating that.

Same people are also now always asking about flour (now they have finished asking about eggs)

Do also get the odd helicopter threads.

Cats, scarecrows (we're the ones who started it), a tin of paint and 5 bottles of wine for free, a rabbit found on the doorstep, and a chap who DJs in his front garden.

Much unbridled excitement about the new milk machine finally being available.
And dog poo, lots of hand wringing about dog poo.