Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Never planned my wedding as a girl

137 replies

TenCornMaidens · 27/04/2020 12:46

I just watched the episode of Friends where Monica says girls all plan their ideal wedding throughout their lives. I know it's only TV, but I just never did this, or don't remember if I did.

I'm sure I'm not alone. Anyone else?

OP posts:
HoneysuckIejasmine · 27/04/2020 12:48

Nope. Because I wasn't taught that getting married was the peak achievement of my life. I barely planned my actual wedding.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 27/04/2020 12:49

Nope. No interest in marriage at all. I thought boys were horrible turns out I was right

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 27/04/2020 12:50

No, never that I recall. Even when i did get married i didn’t overthink the planning as it was about the commitment and vows not a party.

maslinpan · 27/04/2020 12:50

Wedding planning never crossed my mind at any age.

Lostvoiced · 27/04/2020 12:50

Nope. I'm extremely unbothered by a wedding. The only thing I want at my wedding is a really nice cake. And also my partner, I guess he can come too. Grin

It's just dumb stereotypes assuming all women want the same things, which we obviously don't.
I was more into hanging upside down from trees and hoarding plastic dinosaurs as a kid. Smile

user764329056 · 27/04/2020 12:51

Me neither and have never wanted to be married

Namelessinseattle · 27/04/2020 12:51

Probably planned the wedding more than the husband. But mainly just thought about a dress. Certainly didn't like Monica did.

Drivingdownthe101 · 27/04/2020 12:52

No. I don’t think this is actually something people in real life do.

MrsDoylesTeaBags · 27/04/2020 12:53

Never crossed my mind until I got married. I've had a long and happy marriage but the ceremony itself didn't feel that big a deal to me.

pooopypants · 27/04/2020 12:53

I always ALWAYS vowed to never get married. I never planned anything either, probably because the women in my family slept around, had multiple children with multiple men and never settled down with anyone.

Fast forward to today - I'm married with 2 children.

rosiepony · 27/04/2020 12:53

Nope, never.

EvilPea · 27/04/2020 12:55

nope, nor me. Not married no intention to either.

However, a big fuck off fancy dress. YES

mynameiscalypso · 27/04/2020 12:57

Another one saying nope. I had very little interest in my own wedding other than ensuring that was enough food and drink for everyone. The actual getting married part was neither here nor there (although I have no issue with being married).

userabcname · 27/04/2020 12:58

Nope I didn't. Then when I did get married, it was not the big logistical nightmare it is often portrayed. You book a venue, find a couple of other bits if you want (photographer, cake), pay deposits and everyone turns up on the day. Not hard to plan at all.

isabellerossignol · 27/04/2020 13:00

I didn't either. I only had 40 guests and with hindsight I wish I hadn't given in to social pressure to have a 'normal' wedding and had just had about half of those.

Rainb0w · 27/04/2020 13:01

Never to the point of scrap books etc but I did sometimes see a wedding dress in a magazine and think oh I'd like my dress to have x y z.

maa1992 · 27/04/2020 13:01

I never did. I organised my wedding in 7 weeks and only had a "wedding day" because my mum guilt tripped me.

It was small, so much fun.

I felt so uncomfortable looking at dresses so bought online and when I went for my hair and makeup, again it made me feel uncomfortable.

Had I had my own way I'd of gone off with DH to a registry office and told people later on

Baseline2815 · 27/04/2020 13:01

Nope, never planned a dream wedding. Planning for my actual wedding was minimal and started 2 months before the event. Turned out nice, there was enough food, alcohol and cake. Everyone went home happy and we went home married.

But I did once have a colleague who walked around with swatches of sample tablecloth colours for weeks, trying to decide between shades of ivory. The flowers took months. Planning the lot took well over a year. Seemed to make her happy, so why not.

OneEpisode · 27/04/2020 13:01

I never did I imagined myself with friends, job, home, a spouse, pets and also maybe children. When I met the right person we did marry. The wedding was unimportant.
Didn’t get a pony, dog or cat though.

Splenetic · 27/04/2020 13:02

Nope. Because it was very obvious from the lives of the women I saw around me growing up that marriage was no kind of achievement in and of itself. I planned never to do it, despite having met someone wonderful and equally ambitious in my teens, and even though we eventually did (for a practical reason to do with moving countries), it was a plainclothes lunchbreak quickie with two witnesses. We’re still very happy, and have a fabulous DS, but I never gave the wedding two thoughts before or afterwards, and I have no idea when our anniversary is, only which month.

I don’t know any woman in real life who thought of their wedding as any more than a big party, or who had been planning bridesmaids’ dresses since the age of eight.

isabellerossignol · 27/04/2020 13:03

Not hard to plan at all.

Yes to this. My mind is blown by people who disappear for a year before their wedding because every waking hour is dedicated to The Wedding. Unless, I suppose, they hand make everything, including their own dress, I just can't fathom what could possibly need dealt with every day for a year.

BittersweetMemories · 27/04/2020 13:04

Nope I didn't. Then when I did get married, it was not the big logistical nightmare it is often portrayed. You book a venue, find a couple of other bits if you want (photographer, cake), pay deposits and everyone turns up on the day. Not hard to plan at all.

Yes!!!! Currently "planning" our wedding and everyone asks if I'm stressed? Errrr, not at all? As you said, found the suppliers I liked, paid the deposit, the end. Makes me worried that I'm missing something or have forgotten an integral part 😂

Ginfordinner · 27/04/2020 13:04

No, I didn't either. I got married in 1981. I was away at college, but got married in my home town. My mum did most of the minimal planning required, and I just turned up at home for wedding dress fittings (my mum made my dress), and chose my flowers.

I really don't understand women who plan a "dream wedding". A marriage is far more than just a party that only lasts for one day.

I know this makes me sound a little joyless, and I'm not at all. A wedding is and should be a happy occasion and should be celebrated as such, but is it really necessary to have a gilded carriage drawn by pink unicorns, matchy matchy chairs, hundreds of bridesmaids and favours that nobody wants? Then there is the OTT expensive hen do.

All wedding guests really want is to see the happy couple, and be fed and watered well in surroundings that are warm comfortable. The weddings I remember are the best ones where the food and drink was fabulous, and the company was congenial; and the one where we left early because we were too cold.

thesesocksaretootight · 27/04/2020 13:05

Me neither. I'd only ever been to a couple of weddings in my entire life before I got married myself, so I had nothing to go on, and no idea what I'd like mine to be like before we actually started planning it. Second time round I knew what to expect, but again, hadn't really thought about it much, since I hadn't known I would need to until the time came to plan.

ArriettyJones · 27/04/2020 13:07

Me neither. Far too soppy. I still don’t understand the attraction.