Never planned my wedding as a girl

[TenCornMaidens]

I just watched the episode of Friends where Monica says girls all plan their ideal wedding throughout their lives. I know it's only TV, but I just never did this, or don't remember if I did.

I'm sure I'm not alone. Anyone else?

I'm not as cool as the rest of you, as I planned mine in great detail, for hours and hours. It was a bit of an obsession Escapism / fantasy really. It was fun.

Completely unnecessary though. The wedding really is just a day, you just book and pay a few people, and no-one else actually cares. If I had to do it over, I would seriously do just the two of us and our parents in a registry office, with the things I actually liked (cake, rings, nice meal etc). It would be just as nice and much cheaper. We had loads of family friends as guests who I haven't seen since, the dress was on for just a few hours, we don't look at the photos we spent all that money on, and I wonder what the point was.

I wish weddings could just become a bit lower key. I lived in a small town in midwest America for a while and thought their "cake and punch" weddings were brilliant - people just turn up, watch the couple get married in a church or outdoors usually, have a slice of cake and a drink and a chat, and go home. Whole thing lasts a couple of hours and costs very little, next to no planning. It should become a thing over here

I actually love weddings, and did have a ‘big day’ myself. I started planning it once the date was set though, not before that. Just wouldn’t have occurred to me! And although it was a big wedding (lots of people, cost a bloody fortune) it was relaxed and my sole aim was that everyone would have fun with plenty of food and drink.

No and I’m currently trying to plan my actual wedding and hate every bloody minute of it.

I remember my teacher telling us that just about all of the class, bar maybe one would get married. I was determined to be that one who didn’t. I wasn’t

Old radfem, so v anti weddings! DH and I only married to get the tax rebate - us, 2 witnesses and a registrar. No reception or honeymoon. I went back to work for a 56 hour shift in hospital medicine the next day.
I’m autistic and would have hated prancing about in a silly meringue dress, being looked at by loads of people and having to make conversation.

Never ever gave it a single thought growing up.
Even when I was getting married and making arrangements, it was all about simplicity........ great food, free bar and the best band I could get book.

It was a great day, and it went off so well because there wasn't much to go wrong.

The fuss that some people go to now is beyond me.

I don't believe it makes for a better day, and it certainly doesn't make for a better marriage.

I dont get this business of taking your mum, bridesmaids and your grandmother's next door neighbour's dog groomer to sit around drinking prosecco whilst you try dozens of dresses on.

This. And I strongly take issue with the idea of plying people with alcohol when they're potentially spending hundreds of pounds. That said, I visited three different dress shops (on my own), and none of them offered me a drink so I do wonder how widespread this really is. Two of them were really rude to me though and I was shocked by the levels of body shaming.

Re spending every waking hour planning it - we probably didn't spend that long doing the actual planning, but I did spend a lot of time worrying about it. Worrying that nobody would turn up (there's been endless posts here about wedding guest no-shows), worrying it would all go wrong, worrying the guests would hate it etc.

And this is bearing in mind that we're both from stable families. I've been to weddings with people's divorced parents and the levels of stress caused to the bride and groom were awful. So many worries about people causing a scene, and very difficult to make a seating plan in a way that would please everyone.

We were never offered a drink either when I tried on dresses. Have others or is that one of those things that only happens on tv?

I didn’t get offered a drink either. Maybe it only happens at the really, really expensive wedding dress shops?

(Or when a TV crew has come along with the bride to be)

Nope, me neither, cannot imagine anything more vacuous than obsessing over a self promoting party.

My mother did all that bit for me when we got married. I was up for the registry office and an pop down the pub.

No I didn't. I did very minimal planning for my own wedding as it was all arranged in less than six weeks. I didn't even know how I was getting to the register office until an hour before the ceremony! Twenty one years later and I still wouldn't change how we did it.

Can't believe this thread is still going. Love it.