Dirty little secret

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Hi

Hope everyone's doing ok

I've read on here before about weird feet fetishes and weirdos buying worn manky shoes on eBay for good money.

Well I had a nosey on eBay to see how rank they really were and how much they were going for

Don't know what come over me as it is just not me as a person to do so thing like that.

But I've only gone and fucking listed a pair of my old sandals on eBay

Didn't think nothing more of it checked this morning and I've got 11 messages from different people asking all sorts. How old they are. How much I've worn them etc. Telling me I've got pretty feet.

Half of me feels repulsed with myself. The other half feels like it's quite funny cheeky and harmless way to make a few extra ££

I darent tell DH hed hit the roof

He earns really bloody well but I have barely any money of my own once bills are done. Can't even put petrol in the car unless he's filled it up whilst he's used it. I'm so excited that I might actually have a few quid of my own to save up in secret

If you were me would you carry on and not mention it? Or stop being a stupid idiot and delete my eBay account?

Contact Women's Aid OP.

With regards to your family, were you expecting them to cut you off when you planned your child?

Dude. You know you're in an abusive relationship. The shoes are the least of your problems. Ebay do not like it. But, if you can get away with it, do it. And sell everything you bloody can to get the hell out of there.

Hope you're OK, all things considered.

Just sell them. You are not responsible for other people's tastes.

I heard the story of someone selling their husband's old t-shirts no matter what state there were in, for 99p.

Some one would call at the door for it, hand over their £1 and get the t-shirt and their penny change.

It's not like you're selling your old knickers or bras.

OP I think in your case you do what you have to do to enable to get the help out. You're not exploiting anyone, the "old pervs" are choosing to click buy off their own free will.
Have you any support network at all? I'm so sorry you're in this position but thank goodness you've recognised it early enough!

Oh and nip over to the relationship boards where you'll get a ton load of support and wise words. Sadly lots have been in your shoes, but happily many escape ☺️

Selling shoes to fetishists (is that a word?) = absolutely fine.

The relationship you've described on here = a nightmare that I would run as fast away from as I could.

My family cut me off when they found I was pregnant out of wedlock.

Which decade are you in ?

@WaterIsWide exactly. My parents think they're best mates with mother fucking Teresa herself.

My bro also had babies out of wedlock. But as I can see from his insta they're currently sitting in his garden for afternoon tea. Assholes

The problem with selling shoes to perverts (as one PP put it) is that you lose self respect and you keep creating other targets to meet that keep you exactly where you are.
You should check what benefits you'd be entitled to if you left. You can check online. Consider if you want to move back to the area you came from rather than staying beside your partner. Contact Women's Aid.
There are lots of positive, practical steps you can take.

OP I wasn't criticising your approach, I think you should sell the shoes. It's just awful that you feel you have to.

FWIW I think hiding the money in your toddler's account is genius.

Don't get caught up in selling dirty shoes to fetishists. You won't make enough money for it to be worthwhile and you will get repulsive messages from pervs, asking for more photos.

Read back what you've written about your DH. Then plan your exit strategy.

Hang on a minute.... I've sold shoes on ebay before with not one shudder inducing message. What are the key words that pervs are looking for, or is the photos? Are they looking for listings where they are being worn?

I'd start selling your husband's shoes. And his watch, jewellery etc.

I had savings of my own before we moved and I got pregnant. But the landlords would only
Take deposit by bank transfer. There and then or it would have gone to someone else. So I done it from my savings and then partner said he would sort his bank for rent there on which he did. But didn't give me the deposit back. Which was the plan

@Lairymary 🤣 well-worn seems the go to phrase to use 🤣.

Have been inundated with messages. Yet not one bid. Fuckers

Lairy fetishists want smelly shoes that are really badly worn

Op, contact woman's aid.

In fact I'd say now is the time to do it as they seem to be getting extra funding due to covid. Then get out.

You'll be skint but so bloody happy.

OP are you happy to stay where you are and tolerate the financial abuse and isolation or do you want help to make a plan to escape?

I've done it before just out of curiosity... Which in my case didn't kill the cat.

I made £20 out of a pair of knackered shoes and didn't even have to post them anywhere. The person decided they couldn't find a 'safe' address. The way I see it, it is not the end of the world. You did it, don't beat yourself about it.

I ignored all the filthy messages and only responded to the two bidders who had asked only shoes related questions. They were both really polite and respectful.

It's happened now, let someone bid on them and send them off! If you don't feel great about it then you just have to never do it again.

When you go to the post office to post stuff you can get cash back which adds to the total amount, so on your bank statement it’ll only show up x amount spent at the post office so you can hide some cash securely somewhere. Similarly on food shopping.

How do you buy kids clothes? Does he give you an amount? You could buy on eBay and hide the rest, transfer it up to PayPal and buy BNWT stuff so he’d not know they didn’t come from the shop?

I know it won’t be an instant solution and it’ll take time to get the money together, but it’s great you’re making a start, well done!

Seriously the way you are being treated is abusive, you need to get you and your little one out of this situation and fast

Ok so the shoe thing was just a way of you getting out what you really wanted to say. Please feel free to be open on here OP it is the only way to get the advice you need.

How old is your DC?

You obviously need to leave but not having money or family to help is going to make it a lot harder. Depending on how quickly you want to leave you can go into a shelter or stay for a bit longer and sell your things to save up some cash.

OP well done for recognising you are in an abusive relationship and planning your exit. Do it before he tries to make you pregnant again.

Sorry op, I'd only read the first two of your posts so I was a bit flippant. I think you should ask mn to move to the relationship board where you'll receive some really good advice.