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Original poster

Dirty little secret

120 replies

omgggggggggggg · 20/04/2020 13:13

Hope everyone's doing ok

I've read on here before about weird feet fetishes and weirdos buying worn manky shoes on eBay for good money.

Well I had a nosey on eBay to see how rank they really were and how much they were going for

Don't know what come over me as it is just not me as a person to do so thing like that.

But I've only gone and fucking listed a pair of my old sandals on eBay

Didn't think nothing more of it checked this morning and I've got 11 messages from different people asking all sorts. How old they are. How much I've worn them etc. Telling me I've got pretty feet.

Half of me feels repulsed with myself. The other half feels like it's quite funny cheeky and harmless way to make a few extra ££

I darent tell DH hed hit the roof

He earns really bloody well but I have barely any money of my own once bills are done. Can't even put petrol in the car unless he's filled it up whilst he's used it. I'm so excited that I might actually have a few quid of my own to save up in secret

If you were me would you carry on and not mention it? Or stop being a stupid idiot and delete my eBay account?

OP posts:

SuperficialSuzie · 20/04/2020 17:56

OP really you need to take the advice given and get the support of Womens Aid to get out of this abusive relationship.

Can you imagine how lovely it would be to be free to go wherever you want? Spend money as you choose? Not have to justify where you have been?

You deserve a life not living under a dark cloud.

However in the meantime, there have been some good suggestions for building yourself a secret escape fund. Try an internet bank like starling or revolut, you won't get a statement through the post for them and you can just do everything online.

Buy more than you need and then get a cash refund.

If he gives you his debit card for shopping then get cashback.

If you are buying online use quid/topcashback.

Sell anything and everything you can on eBay / Facebook selling sites.

Is the car in your name or his? Can you sell it if you can't use it? That would give you a decent sum to help you get started.

BaroleCaskin · 20/04/2020 19:14

Yes you are quite right @GeraniumJohnsonsBlue, it is abuse. I just think her parents sound totally unsupportive and I imagine if she felt she could turn to them she would have already

dayswithaY · 20/04/2020 19:51

The shoe thing is just a short term solution and you won't make much money from it. People here have given excellent advice, you would be better off putting your time and energy into what they have said to do.

AcrossthePond55 · 20/04/2020 22:18

Let me tell you this, that 'unknown' that you're so fearful of will never be as bad as the 'known' you're currently living with.

BrooHaHa · 20/04/2020 22:40

Let me tell you this, that 'unknown' that you're so fearful of will never be as bad as the 'known' you're currently living with.

You can't promise that. No one can. But the situation does need changing.

BendyLikeBeckham · 26/04/2020 12:59

Freedom, autonomy , peace and joy is worth the short term pain of leaving. Living on benefits poverty for the short term will seem like wealth compared to what you have now.

He has you living like an actual slave.

YouStupidBoy · 26/04/2020 13:32

Women's Aid have a "rail to refuge" scheme at the moment if you do decide that you want to call them.

springydaff · 26/04/2020 13:39

This is so upsetting to read op 😢

This is severe abuse. You are a prisoner.

Please contact Women's Aid. They won't force you into anything but will gently support you all the way. They are trained, they know how hard it is for you, how change frightens you. They get it. They are the experts and have all the resources and contacts to help you.

Do it for daughter lovely

springydaff · 26/04/2020 13:43

how to get help

1forAll74 · 26/04/2020 13:55

Yes sell your shoes and whatever else, and sell your partner as well, it's not a good situation that you are in , the way you have described your home situation is awful for you. I hope better things will come for you at some point in the future.

MrsGrindah · 26/04/2020 14:08

But there’s no way you are going to make enough money selling the odd pair of shoes etc. You need proper support. Women’s Aid can help you get access to benefits which at least will all be for you and your child. They do this every day OP. Trust them and don’t rely on dodgy random strangers who will probably fail to pay you anyway.

Pavlova31 · 26/04/2020 18:20

Please consider having this thread moved into the Relationship board on here Op

MrsGrindah · 26/04/2020 18:28

Why @Pavlova31? I don’t think any board title necessarily means a better standard of response?

Pavlova31 · 26/04/2020 19:21

I thought perhaps that there would be people on there who have come through similar and could offer extra advice MrsGrindah.

CoraPirbright · 26/04/2020 19:57

I know that your parents are stuck in the dark ages but what about your brother (who also has children out of wedlock but apparently that is ok )? Would he be able to help? Or any of your old friends - if you were an old mate of mine and called for help, I would do what I could and I bet you have friends the same. Call them when you are stood in that supermarket queue.

Remember - you had a job, you had friends, you had a life......and you will have all that again. Just hold on to that.

Original poster

omgggggggggggg · 26/04/2020 21:48

Thank you for your messages everyone. I'm really grateful for everyone who's taken the time to reply and give advice and guidance

Took the shoes off eBay caus it actually made me feel sick some of the pervs messaging me on there about how they want to buy me shoes and make me wear them until they're really smelly and sweaty 🤢🤢🤢 and then buy them back off me so they can wank over them. 🤢. Most weirdest and fucking disgusting thing I've ever heard. So had to delete it. Still getting messages now tho even tho I've taken all the listings off.

Spoke to my brother. I'm not close to him by any means. I got the "we'll see all knew it was coming" speech. I just went numb. Cut him off. Deleted insta. Blocked his number. Turned my phone off for a few days to gather my thoughts.

My parents are a no go absolutely. I couldn't ever let my toddler be exposed to them crazy fucking bastards. They've never even met my child. They only know my child's name because of my bro. They aren't much better than my partner to be honest.

I haven't called women's aid yet. I'm just terrified they'll confirm I've got no choice but to leave behind everything I know once again. Even though it's shit and not worth living it. But it's yet another change where I don't know the outcome.

However. I found an old school friend on LinkedIn who now runs her own estate agents and got chatting to her.

I'm building up the guts to tell her what I can and ask if there's anyway she could help me. Whether that be living in someone's annexe for low rent. Or whatever. I don't really know. But I don't know what else to do.

To make things even worse. Partner has been lovely for
The last few days. He's normally an emotionless monotone speaking robot. I'm now scared he knows somethings up. Even though I've deleted all my internet trails and haven't packed anything yet

Il keep you updated when I can

OP posts:

slinkysaluki · 27/04/2020 13:08

Some sell used knickers so shies seem quite tame

AcrossthePond55 · 29/04/2020 14:47

Enjoy the 'peace' whilst he's on good behaviour. Just remember that it won't last.

AnneKipanki · 30/04/2020 08:13

Your partner can probably sense a change in you OP . Your partner has changed his behaviour. It is a tactic.
Hope it all works out.

Fenlandmountainrescue · 30/04/2020 20:41

Women’s Aid will not force you to leave. They know that lots of women can’t, so they can give you advice and support to stay safe in situ if need be.

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