I have found the solution to lockdown!!!

[PyongyangKipperbang]

Espresso Martinis

I have only had one and I no longer give a shit about ANYTHING!

You're welcome.

:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

Well I say that..... it would have been enough for 2 weeks if I hadnt been led astray by a coquettish martini glass.....

Electric melon is good. My chest is lovely and warm. Well burning a bit but I'm sure more alcohol will fix that. I'm out in my garden shouting in my neighbours window for Alexa to play Rihanna. Think Mrs Wilson shit herself

I would like to annouce that your pissed up host for this evening is the beautiful, if wobbly, @Tonz !!!

Hey OP!
Started at 3ish with a small beer... am a bottle of prosecco down now 🥂🥂🥂🙈🙈🙈

I was just explaining myself to Mrs Wilson that it was pyongyangkipperbangs fault because of Espresso Martinis so she wants to try one. She's 73 nothing bad will happen I'm sure. Il sanitize her jug

Hi Mrs Wilson!!!!

It's more fun to shout on Mr Wilson. U get to feel like Dennis the menace ohh Mr Wiiiillson

Funnily enough, I thought that too!

So, I just stood up and the blood rusjed from my head but the alcohol stayed there............YAAAYYYY!!!!!!

Just be careful. Last Friday we down a lot of rum and gin. Decided to have drunken sex, I fell off the bed straight onto my face resulting in a friction burned nose and a popped lip. And a hangover from hell the next day (along with the dread and embarrassment).

Mr Wilson isn't happy he's switched Alexa off

Hi all ,I missed last night had a child. But tonight I'm on the sauce I've been cleaning all day so tonight is pizza and dark fruits cider ,child free tomorrow until tea time so I'm drinking till my legs carry me to bed 😂

I wonder if any of my neighbours have alexa. I'm away to find out. Kinda like grown up chap door run

Espresso Martini ingredients added to essential shopping list.

I can highly recommend Fireball whisky liquor with apple juice.... tastes just like mom’s apple pie.... but better 😋

Lol how long can this go on for 🤣
This feels like my teenage years when my parents warned me about
“ wayward “ friends who would lead me off the straight and narrow,lol.
I never listened back then either....

Pizza is here

No chineses open near me at all

I feel like the Pied Piper of Tesco Booze Aisle!

Anyone who needs to can blame me, I'll take on for the team!

I just burped and farted at the same time, is that safe?!

Depends how much bumtrust you have at the point it happens

Tanqueray Sevilla gin and Fevertree tonic
Homemade savoury flapjack because we forgot to buy crisps

Just walked over well stumbled over to the shop for some crisps before it shut and got tutted at by a couple so I got some essential bread and milk but then I heard the woman say "what a mess to be in" so I had a fake coughing fit. Face was a picture... Nope I don't feel bad

I needed bread and milk for tomorrow anyway I might not be out of bed till late

Rum & cokes are on tonight's bar menu I fancy a change from gin and there's some coke to drink up

Thanks OP

Not felt great today.

Going to crack open a G&T and nibble on some nuts as I won't be getting any other type for now.

Scarbados what are these savoury flapjacks you talk about? They sound very yummy

@sugarlost

I'm having chilli doritos. Heartburn now. Dh has brought out tennesee fire jack daniels. Send help