I have found the solution to lockdown!!!

[PyongyangKipperbang]

Espresso Martinis

I have only had one and I no longer give a shit about ANYTHING!

You're welcome.

:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

Vodka and Tia Maria in equal measures. Shot of espresso (or three spoons of Kenco in enough water to dissolve it ), shake with ice.

Taste and realise you have added too much vodka.

Add more espresso

Taste and realise you have added to much coffee

Add Tia Maria until it tastes nice or you fall over. Serve immediately in 2 litre tupperware jug as there isnt a martini glass big enough.

My ears are really warm.

Well I think @LaurieFairyCake wins with Harvey Nicks snacks! If I put my monsoon frock on can I be second?

left-over Easter chocolate Who knew such a thing existed
second glass of Sauv Blanc aided by potato sticks #livingthedream

Aren't they just, Asi?

I pour them in a little snack bowl to feel fancy (but make sure to lick the crumbs out if the empty packet after).

@PyongyangKipperbang
I know you’ve only had one, but was it in a pint glass?
😂

@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff. Reminds me of the time as a CM. Has a 1 year old with an explosive poo. So put the 9 month old in one of those static jumpers. You know the sort that the bottom is like a dustpin lid?
So baby is safe, so turn around put 1 year old on the change table. Whip the nappy off in one deft movement. As the poo comes shooting out of her cute baby bottom again. All over me.
I stand there not quite sure who to clean first.
In the end clean the child. Then very carefully get my T shirt over my head with turning it inside out and clean my self up. Wash hands. Run up stairs for clean top.

Come back down stairs. Remember the baby in the dustbin lid jumperoo ?

Well he has had the world worst explosive poo. The dustpin lids is awash with poo.

And the 1 year old has her hands in it, and us once again covered in shite!.

Wasnt my best day.

And I dont drink.

Oh man an espresso martini! So dreamy.

Bat when I say "leftover", I may mean the cut price Lindt I piled into the trolley this morning. I had about 2 seconds of shame, then I thought fuck it.

@PyongyangKipperbang
I wonder how long it will take for someone to find his body with it being lock down who is going to miss him. Just got a new cream carpet a month ago and it's going to be covered in blood and shit isn't it 😢

My ears are really warm this made me

Red wine and twiglets here

I swear I felt my liver wince when I opened the Pinot this evening.

Seabrooks Crinkle Cut crisps here
My fave. Mostly ready salted but when I have to buy the multipack, when the salted is out of stock, the prawn cocktail are amazing.

espresso martinis
they really fuck you up
excellently

if you tire of them try a french martini also divine

@Tonz

Nah mate. Watch Dexter

Ooh it’s you! Yes I agree the only way through this is alcohol. Lots of. Cocktails sound a bit faffy though.

DH loves an espresso martini

Hmm, will the police arrest me for buying only Tia Maria ?. I have everything else

I refuse to believe its possible to tire of them, I think I have discovered my perfect breakfast drink.

I'm on antibiotics (definitely the non drinking sort) for a week. for me.

@helpfulperson probably but its worth a night in the cells

@RJnomore1 Alright mate?! My ears really are getting quite hot now.

@helpfulperson maybe pick up a pack of toilet roll aswell on your shopping trip? (can never have too much)

It’s the big shop tomorrow and I’m picking up all the ingredients for an espresso martini I’ll check in tomorrow with results...

I’ve worked through a bottle of white wine and I’m wondering what to do now 😊

@spinthebottle

My work here is done!

Enjoy my friend!

I mean "Enjoy, my friend"

Although of course you could enjoy my friend. She's nice, and would probably...

Shut up Pyong.

@RJnomore1

Another one?