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Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

I feel like I don’t have any close friends

187 replies

BunnytheHoneyBee · 15/04/2020 15:58

I’m 35, married, no children and work in a professional role. I think I’m likeable and there have always been people at work I got along with, go out for lunches, drinks or dinner with, but I don’t have any very close friends.

I have friends who I text, meet up with every couple of months, who send me me birthday cards, for example, so I do have friends.

I think part of it is, say if there’s a show on I’d like to see or an event I’d like to go to, I don’t have that one bestie who I can call / text to go with. All of my friends who I might do something with have a close group of friends or a best friend (who obviously isn’t me).

It isn’t about not having children because only a couple of my friends have children and that was fairly recent and I’ve always been in this position.

If anything it’s more about romantic relationships as a couple of my closest friends are in newer relationships where they’ve just moved in with their partners so they’re always doing things with them whereas my DH and I have been together about ten years and I want to do things with other people. Frankly DH often doesn’t want to do the things I want to do.

I don’t really know what my point is but sometimes I feel like everyone has someone to do things with but me and that I don’t have someone to talk to or call I’m feeling crap.

I do have one good friend but she lives far away and has a young child who has behaviour problems. We get on well and we exchange detailed texts about what’s going on in our lives but I don’t see her and we don’t go out and do things together.

I think I’m maybe a bit uptight which doesn’t help.

OP posts:
missionalmostimpossible · 24/04/2020 00:30

This thread resonates with me. I was thinking this in the first week of lockdown actually.

Other than my DH (who is currently driving me crazy), and my family of origin members, there is no-one I could call in an emergency and say please come now. Even if it was just a wine o'clock type situation. It's made me quite sad thinking about myself like this, and how I can get out of it.

I'd like to join the group please, however I don't have an Instagram account. How do I get involved please?

MandalaYogaTapestry · 24/04/2020 00:50

Noto, I am unable to do that. Will need to get back on the thread on the PC

JustStayHome · 24/04/2020 01:01

Think i have PM everyone up to here !

prettycatseyes · 24/04/2020 01:14

Please can I join too 😊

prettycatseyes · 24/04/2020 01:16

Sorry how do I dm on here?

squeakandknock · 24/04/2020 07:21

Please may I join? DaffodilSmileDaffodilSmile

BunnytheHoneyBee · 24/04/2020 11:07

I’m sorry about your breakup @Jojobar

@missionalmostimpossible It is a sad thought but this thread reassured me that more people than I realised feel this way

I’ve answered a quite a few messages asking to join since last night so hopefully that’s everyone covered

I’ll PM you @prettycatseyes in case you don’t know how

OP posts:
scattercushion17 · 24/04/2020 12:35

I'm glad I've found this thread too.

I'm single, mid 30s. Work has been full on but is easing off (not covid, just a change in role). I do have a couple of friends I can go and do things with but these tend to be planned well in advance. It would be nice to find people to do a pub quiz with etc. I may be my own worst enemy though as I'm not spontaneous by nature. Before covid, I'd started to make changes to increase my social circle but this is obviously not happening just now.

I do make friends but it tends not to last, life factors do seem to creep in but I think that's normal to an extent. A couple of friendships ended last year due to them massively taking the p* and I realised the friendships were both one sided, although I'll have my faults too. I'm a bit awkward and probably serious. I don't do well in larger groups.

As for Zoom parties, they just don't appeal to me at all so I don't feel like I'm missing out.

Thinking of everyone who is making changes or going to after this.

strongcloud · 24/04/2020 12:49

Can I join? I don't have any friends after moving to an new place two and a half years ago. I've got acquaintances. but not friends. Like you OP, no-one to ask to go to a show with. I have kids too. I'll message you!

CantBelieveImHere · 24/04/2020 13:05

Can I join too please always abit of a lurker on MN but am very much a B list friend or a friend who gets dropped by others alot.
I'll PM you.

BELLAARA · 24/04/2020 14:15

I've PM you @Wanderlustnearorfar. Looking forward to seeing where this group goes. Happy Friday, everyone!

prettycatseyes · 24/04/2020 15:21

@BunnytheHoneyBee
Thank you, I'm on a iPhone, does that make any difference? I don't even know where my inbox for messages are on here lol

Helpmyhair2019 · 24/04/2020 15:28

Hello I would love to join as well if possible

BunnytheHoneyBee · 24/04/2020 15:50

@prettycatseyes I’m on iPhone too but not on the app. You should be able to find your messages on the top right corner if you’re on browser.

@Helpmyhair2019 Yes that’s fine. Please DM me if you can as we’ve had a lot of requests again since yesterday.

OP posts:
prettycatseyes · 24/04/2020 18:42

I'm on the app, I've clicked on the top right corner but it's only got log out and settings on there...X

BunnytheHoneyBee · 24/04/2020 18:44

I don’t know @prettycatseyes as I don’t use the app

Maybe you need to go on to Mumsnet through your browser or someone else might know

OP posts:
motherofgod2 · 24/04/2020 19:13

Can I join please Smile

prettycatseyes · 24/04/2020 20:33

So what's everyone doing tonight? Just a little bit about me, I'm 38 (just turned 2 weeks ago) lol weird birthday in isolation.. I live in Derbyshire area.
Ive just finished a quiz online and now I'm going to watch the nest..
Tell me your plans x

BunnytheHoneyBee · 24/04/2020 20:34

Hi @prettycatseyes I plan to start the Nest too. Did you get my message about the Facebook group?

OP posts:
Spottyspottyladybird · 24/04/2020 20:45

Ooo I'd love to join as well please. I can relate to everything said so far. Smile

prettycatseyes · 24/04/2020 21:31

@BunnytheHoneyBee no I haven't received anything, I don't think I can with the app which is a strange set up. I have only got a work laptop and they will ban sites like Mumsnet etc and haven't got another laptop. Could you tell me the Facebook group and I'll join now? Thanks. Smile

Greenscissors · 24/04/2020 22:18

@prettycatseyes If you visit Mumsnet using safari on your phone, rather than the app, you can see inbox and messages. That's how I did it.

prettycatseyes · 24/04/2020 22:28

Thank you so much @Greenscissors I’ve got in to my inbox now :)

ButterbingQueen · 24/04/2020 23:49

Fellow B lister here waves. So much of what other people have said on this thread resonates Sad. Over the past few years I’ve moved around quite a bit. I’ve found old “friends” would only make the effort if I did all the travelling. Then, like others, there have been a fair few evening invites to weddings, including people I thought were good friends (even those I had on my hen do Sad).

I’d love to join the group if possible. I’ll try and work our how to send a pm (on my phone using safari, so 🤞).

Tiredmum8 · 25/04/2020 01:06

Would love to join please too 🙏🙏

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