Can't say it to your neighbours during lockdown? Say it here.

[RestYourHead]

To my next door but one neighbour who has been using his jet washer all day for the last 3 days:

Whatever it is you're jet washing, I'M FAIRLY SURE ITS CLEAN NOW

Ah that's better.

I know I know, live and let live etc, just wanted somewhere to say it.

PICK UP THE FUCKING LITTER IN YOUR FRONT GARDEN. That Amazon box has been there since before Christmas. I’m astonished that you’ve just let it biodegrade in the rain and leave cardboard detritus all over your front step. AND you literally step over that Bag for Life every time you leave the front door and that has been there since January. It’s disgusting and it would take literally 2 minutes to stick on some gloves and pick up all the bits and chuck them in the bin.

And yes, that’s why I’ve been doing my NHS clapping in the back garden as I cannot stand looking at your front garden. It’s making our street look a mess.

I feel better for that. Thanks OP

You're not a famous Ibiza DJ, you're an overweight drunk gammon with shit taste in music
This. How can you not realise you are disturbing so many other people? Or do you simply not care? But if I have all my windows and doors closed and still can't hear my TV over your music then your music is too loud.

Stop f’ing staring in my windows when you do the gardening. We all know you are just a nosy bitch and it’s got sweet f a to do with your garden.

Thank you for being so nice the other day. You were an utter, utter wanker about scaffolding and extensions, and it made me despise you a bit, but I can see you get anxious in certain situations, and that you're basically a good person and neighbour.

Loudly buying drugs from your dealer, who's parked in the middle of the street blocking the traffic, is probably not the very definition of social distancing.
And then if your son is going to slouch off to smoke weed with his mates, could it not be outside my house?
Could it be outside your house?

Many thanks to you , druggie neighbour

Please take into consideration we have young kids round here. Your drug dealer of a son is now so obvious it's beyond a joke.

The amount of cars pulling up EVERY 15-20mins day and night is disgusting.

Your kids are still going to their dad's (your choice whatever) so that's two households mixing. But then of course your boyfriend is coming over (three households), his kids come too (four households). Oh and your mum is over all the time (five households). And your kid's friend comes to visit (six households). You selfish, selfish tit.

Walls aren't that thick, I can hear your aggressive rows, if you need help call the police!

Why can't your neighbour sunbathe in the front garden, is it because she's wearing a thong bikini? Would it be different if she was wearing a normal bikini

@Gazelda yikes Why, just why would you need to wear speedos when jet washing

Some of these are lovely, some just awful. Again, for all of you with selfish twunts for neighbours.

Stop slamming EVERY SINGLE DOOR in your house. No one needs to close their doors that hard! Every single time, it drives us mad!

First off, I'm sorry for our noise. DS1 does not take well to changes in routine and has really struggled. DS2 is teething. And we're trying not to bang the doors but the back door broke just before lockdown as DH got furloughed so even if we could replace it now we can't afford to. It won't stay shut and then the wind catches it and every so often it does mini slams. We've been propping it open with a pot of lavender, but can't hold it shut. It might just be me it's tipping over the edge though as DH can't hear it so who knows.

Clowns to the left of us... Stop with the loud rap music playing through your phone and badly shouting along. Stop arguing about EVERYTHING. We're all irritable and irritated with each other we're not all having shouting matches. Also please walk your dog, it's no wonder he barks all day. And give it up with the fireworks on a Thursday. DS is terrified and it wakes up the baby.

Jokers to the right - I know your toddler's routine runs much later than everyone elses, but rather than tell our DD off for playing quietly at 4pm because yours needs her nap, why not consider that she might scream from 8-10 every night because she's tired.

Stop playing your music so loudly all the time. You have shit taste in music and we don't need to hear it.

Stop talking so loudly. The entire street can hear you ffs.

Your kids are whiney.

Stop. Having. People. Round. 😡😡😡

Neighbour 3 doors away, you tell us constantly about how ill you are, and how ill your dm is, so why is she at your house every other day? You were very vocal about the risks of me going for a solitary walk but this is ok? if you're going to put pictures in the window and clap, you could at least follow the rules. Oh, and driving 20 miles to collect a hot tub is not an essential journey, not by any stretch of the imagination.

Neighbour the other way, take the bloody dog for a walk, it would probably take less energy than you bellowing at it all day.

Stop having who I believe to be your parents arriving with their dog, standing in your front garden whinneying on loudly because of social distancing and then you go out to walk the dog together shoulder to shoulder. With your messages of hope in your window.

If you want to be in the garden ALL DAY, then ALL EVENING drinking cider and playing music at the moment, then I'm never going to worry about my dc going out in our garden for a few hours having fun, being children. Can't wait for this to be over so you can resume your weekend caravan visits!!!

I love you and I'm glad you are enjoying your firepit so much. But your ash keeps blowing over the fence and landing on our dinner when we eat outside.
(But I won't say anything because they are genuinely lovely and she;s just recovered from two weeks of Covid.)

Please stop screaming and swearing at your primary aged and pre school children. Telling your three year old to get that fucking controller back in the house or start fucking listening at full volume in the garden is daily occurrence. I hate to have to hear it and your children must hate it too. You are a very angry person and I feel so sad for your family.

Thank you for the Easter eggs for my DC (left on the doorstep, we found them when we had a take away delivery), that was an incredibly sweet thought in a difficult time.

Neighbour 1 - Stop using my currently empty driveways as an extension of your own property. It was irritating enough before this lockdown but now means you and your family are within a few feet from my open windows constantly. It also infringes on our privacy. Stop letting your child use them to ride her bike on or play with her RC car. And why the fuck did you think it was acceptable to use my property for an Easter egg hunt at 8am yesterday? In fact, stop fucking waking me up at 8am every day with banging from god knows what. The houses have really good soundproofing and the way that they are laid out (bathroom backing onto bedrooms) means I shouldn’t be able to hear shit. What the fuck are you even doing to make that level of noise? Just because you bring my bin in occasionally and offer me some eggs doesn’t mean you can take the utter piss. I didn’t appreciate your child rummaging behind my bins for a fucking chocolate egg you’ve hidden. I also didn’t appreciate being hit by a fuck off bouncy beach ball when I’m 38 weeks pg and sat in my own garden. If anything comes over and hits my newborn in a few weeks I won’t be polite about it.

Neighbour 2 - Please teach your children a level of fucking quietness. Yes they’re kids but that doesn’t give them a free pass to be screaming and squealing outside 24/7. Be considerate of others when you’re living in terraced housing and your neighbours can’t fucking escape the noise. Maybe, just maybe, when you hear us go sit in the garden once or twice a week will you please shut your crotch goblins up or send them inside for half an hour. You’re literally out there from 7am-midnight every day it doesn’t rain. Stop being selfish and let others enjoy their gardens for a change. It’s hard to relax when we can hear your phone calls on loud speaker or your husband sawing at random bits of wood. Also, if they’re soooo into football why can’t your kids keep their footballs in their own fucking garden? My 4 year old has better ball control. Literally within minutes of DH kicking them back over one had already come back. I’m sick of having to touch them when there’s a fucking virus going round and your husband sounds like he’s going to cough all his organs up. Same applies to you, if anything comes over and hits my newborn in a few weeks I will not refrain from speaking my mind.

i'm sorry for my family's general non-understanding of the concept of an indoor voice (in or out) i do try! thanks for the loan of the green waste bags, am holding myself back from incinerator, no matter how tempting, in attempt at community-spirit.

thanks for keeping on at your front-line job, i hope people are being kind as you carry it out. and it's a standing order on the shopping.

to the landlord/flipper on the other side - oh no! no tenants, no sale :( thanks a fucking million for your (for you) dreadful timing, it makes a huge difference to know we're only being immediately annoying to one other household :)

Thank you for sharing your curries with us. So delicious. Great to have time to chat for once. Very pleased you've clicked about having visitors round. I actually love listening to you playing with your kids.

offer, not order

/doesn't go premium

Yes we all know you're extremely Christian and must miss your church but broadcasting a 5 hour church service from your house so loudly I can hear it 3 doors down is not very nice. Either that or you were watching / listening on telly or radio. In which case, still too loud!