Can't say it to your neighbours during lockdown? Say it here.

[RestYourHead]

To my next door but one neighbour who has been using his jet washer all day for the last 3 days:

Whatever it is you're jet washing, I'M FAIRLY SURE ITS CLEAN NOW

Ah that's better.

I know I know, live and let live etc, just wanted somewhere to say it.

Turn that fucking shit music down. All day yesterday now again today. So selfish

@ThisIsABitTricky exercise time is NOT limited to an hour!

Please don’t worry if the Dc are driving you mad. I know you’re doing your best. They’re young boys and being indoors is tough. Go easy on yourself, on them and on your DW. We are not judging you at all, but try and chill a bit, the dc are picking up on your stress and anxiety.

Stop having your "friends" over to "visit" -buy drugs- You are putting yourself, them, me and other neighbours at risk. The sooner the police catch up with you the better

* Neighbours who told us on Good Friday that ‘that’s it now, we don’t need to go to the shops again until Tuesday’*

What’s the problem? Twice a week good shop when online delivery is the holy grail atm. Seems reasonable enough to me

Stop sitting in my parking space! You've been harassing me for months and now because it's the only place that gets any evening sun you're dragging your deckchair over here. Go away! (and also stop harrasing me, that'd be nice too)

If you send me one more passive aggressive WhatsApp saying you’re going to “shame me into clapping” when my husband and two brothers work in frontline NHS then we are literally never going to speak again.

I don’t do virtue signalling!!!

To my otherwise lovely young neighbours, please will you stop having your friends around then sitting in the back garden and chatting very loudly. (She is pregnant and he gets asthma). Your friends may think they've not got CV-19 but could be symptom free and infectious. There is also concern that severity of attack may be related to length of exposure or multiple exposure, so friends sitting with you for 5 or 6 hours could be more risky than passing people in the supermarket or on the street. Phew rant over!

@WhereIsTheSaladDoris

That’s a really nice one

Stop locking your stupid rat of a dog in the front garden where it barks non-stop.

@faithinallisee

* If you send me one more passive aggressive WhatsApp saying you’re going to “shame me into clapping”*

Passive aggressive? More like aggressive aggressive

Please put some clothes on!

I cannot bear to see your husbands chest and your 'boob tube' top any more.

If you need a nap- go indoors- i cannot tell you how hilarious you look when you are catching flies 😂

Please stop your children throwing things over the fence at my daughter. She can't hear them when they call to her, and doesn't want to play with the horrid little shits anyway. And no, you can't have the stuff back. Not even the bike stabilisers. If you won't teach them not to lob missiles, I just have to withold them until they absorb the lesson.

Stop having fu**ing bonfires you selfish bunch of inconsiderate barstools- you who started at 11am don't you think by 4.16 you should stop? Oh and you who started at 3 thanks for that hope you're enjoying the competition as to who can have more smoke bellowing over people's washing not to mention the poor older folk who have now had to go in from their gardens due to your selfish pig ignorant behaviour- grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

WHY is this outside your house? Why did you only tell me your child has had no vaccinations recently given that you know my child is immunosuppressed? Why don't you believe in COVID-19? Honestly. Crackers.

Hope my picture posts.

There's no point having a sign on your door if you're going to have every single person you know pop by for different reasons. Chatting over your garden fence won't protect you either when you're standing as close as that.

Other neighbour further down, stop burning shit in your garden. Did the fire brigade coming the other day not put you off? Apparently not. And no, burning it at 10pm instead of mid afternoon isn't any better when it's been warm enough to have windows open all night.

Yet another neighbour, where did that pile of old furniture and rubbish in your garden disappear to when all the dumps are closed? It's been there long enough, wouldn't have hurt you to leave it until they were open again, even if it was an utter eyesore.

To my next door but one neighbour who has been using his jet washer all day for the last 3 days

If they started at 8am on both Friday and Saturday, then hello to my MN neighbour!

That fucking droning sound, on and on and on.....

Also another neighbour had a BBQ going at 8am today.

You're arseholes, always have been always will be. How either of you hadn't put the other one under patio is a wonder to us, and really it could be either of you as you're as awful as each other. I wouldn't shed a tear if you left this earthly plain, I just hope you don't trouble the NHS while you're doing it. Also, that smokers cough, not going to put you in good stead if you carry on with all that socialising.

You are more stupid, selfish and ignorant than I gave you credit for. Why does your fella still visit daily and stay all day, i must have missed the press conference that said you’re excluded.

You both sit in the garden all day and say isn't the lockdown awful? How the fuck would you know when you blatantly ignore the rules.

TOSSERS

My neighbours currently have their mum and dad over 🤨 nan and pap wanted to visit for Easter 😡 they have been sitting in close proximity in the garden for an hour

Please stop loudly performance parenting, I am sick of it. I know you wait until we go into the garden to do it - I have pretended go to indoors and it stops immediately

We have young children too, doesn't mean we feel the need to loudly commentate in every little thing or use the children as some sort of performing monkey.

I also find it really weird that you seem to copy every activity we do in the garden - I can only assume you go upstairs and look at what we are doing?!

I also assume you don't realise we can hear you through the walls telling your toddler to shut the fuck up - so yeah, I don't buy your parents of the year OTT parenting performance you subject us to, so just shut up.....

Tell your girlfriend shes not supposed to be visiting every weekend at the moment.
And that she certainly shouldn't be visiting when she's coughing so much..

FUCK THE FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING SELFISH BUNCH OF WANK BADGERS.

One for my family, I love you all, I'm really grateful for the birthday presents, and can't wait to give you all huge never ending hugs when all this is over. But I wish you hadn't all pounced on me to hug me when I oppened the front door earlier, and had kept 2m away instead? Especially considering you haven't been social distancing, with goodness how many other people besides me? I would have been happy to chat away with you from a distance for hours, instead I was an anxious mess and itching to go disinfect myself the whole time instead? Which I think you picked up on, because you all soon left?

And teasing me for sticking to the rules, wasn't kind, when children (and people in general with no underlying health conditions) are now dying, and I'm terrified my ds will get seriously ill?

That was cathartic.