Can't say it to your neighbours during lockdown? Say it here.

[RestYourHead]

To my next door but one neighbour who has been using his jet washer all day for the last 3 days:

Whatever it is you're jet washing, I'M FAIRLY SURE ITS CLEAN NOW

Ah that's better.

I know I know, live and let live etc, just wanted somewhere to say it.

Thanks for the nasty note calling me irresponsible and telling me that the visitor I’ve had for three weeks in a row isn’t allowed and if you see her come in my house one more time you will call the police.

She’s my independent midwife coming to check on me and some worrisome symptoms regularly, therefore saving me having to go to our very busy local hospital weekly. But Crack on.

Dear Next Door.

Nobody likes drum & bass.

Except for, maybe, 10 people in 1995.

Turn the shite down so that I (who is shielding) can enjoy my garden you selfish prick.

Arg. Just argh. I can't cope with you/living by you any more, have no idea if and when I will be able to move, or how on earth I'm going to get through however long that takes.

To both NDNs,

Even though you’ve both been unbearable, selfish sets of arses throughout this pandemic I feel incredibly sorry for you. Your 7-10yo children seem incapable of sleeping past 6am. When I was 10 I wouldn’t roll out of bed until at least 9am in the holidays, even as late as 11am. Poor sods never seem to get a lay in

To add, I bet they don’t get up at 6am as eagerly on a school day

Seriously, how long does it take to get your fucking hedges cut?! 2 days straight of noisy petrol strimmers is ruining my ability to work!

@Hendrixrain dont feel too sorry for them, at least their children are self sufficient and not up through the night as well. I have a baby and a toddler so night waking, feeds and up early! I dream of them being over 7 for it to become leas relentless!

less

It’s anti social to burn rubbish in your garden in the middle of a sunny day when many people are home. Wait until the evening on a colder day if you absolutely must burn stuff!

I work nights. Do you mind not asking Alexa to play music, when im trying to sleep.

You are utter arseholes. You ran over my cat and buried him in your garden without owning up to it until after we had spent days hunting for him and asking everyone to look for him. You light fires that bathe my house in smoke despite having been politely asked not to as both DH and DS are asthmatic. You let your dogs out to shit in the communal area where we all leave our bins. You regularly rev your engine for ages at five in the morning. When we move there will be a parting present. It will almost certainly involve regifting of some of your dogs shit.

Stop pretending to be an animal lover and the only person who really cares about all of the neighbourhood cats (none of whom are starving or have been abandoned - they come to your door because you leave plates of food out for them, you cat snaffling freak). Remember there is no soundproofing between our walls? We can hear you shrieking and snarling at them after you’ve been doing your performance cat ownership for the benefit of everyone else.

If you want to smoke weed all day and night, then you crack on. Enjoy yourself. But for the love of all that is holy, shut your fucking windows because it stinks and I’m sick of having to shut my windows when it’s hot.

Your car sounds like a tractor. Stop leaving it running underneath our bedroom window at 3am because you’ve had a row with your girlfriend and are trying to make her think you’re going to leave her. We know you’re going nowhere. She knows you’re going nowhere. Just get yourself back indoors and stop embarrassing yourself. Also, you know that little handle on the inside of your front door that you turn to open the door when you want to go out? It’s a brilliant invention. You can also turn it when you want to shut your door, so you don’t have to slam it when you finally realise she’s not chasing after you.

Are you ever going to move that effing skip?!!

To my 80 year old neighbour who told me (NHS worker) how proud she is of me and how she is staying in, only goes out once a day and will walk past her childrens house and only wave through the window....yeah right. You go out for a drive multiple times a day (WTF are you doing???) and they came to visit the other day. I haven't seen my family for months, have cancelled all annual leave and my wedding to put myself at risk for selfish feckers like you.

Stop blocking my driveway please.

Neighbour 1: Stop sitting in our communal garden. There are 5 other people not using it even to hang out washing because you and your dodger mates don't understand social distancing. By the way it is totally obvious to anyone with working eyes that you are dealing and the sooner they bust you the better.

Also control your devil dog or get rid.

Neighbour 2: Please stop your dog pissing all over the place. The bits not currently wrecked by neighbour 1 are covered in dog piss. Don't buy a massive dog in a small flat.

Neighbours 3-5 Please keep being normal and if possible also call police on Neighbour 1 so we can have some peace.

PS I am antibac cleaning the front doors.

I wish I lived in a shack up a mountain....

I'm so fucking sorry.

You're kind, quiet and friendly neighbours and we are so grateful to have you in our terrace.

Sincere apologies from the family with the roaring, whistling, screaming, shrieking, belly laughing and bouncing kids.

God I thought I was annoyed at my neighbours but this thread has cheered me up no end!

Sorry to all those who have such awful neighbours!

Yes I chopped my own tree down a few sizes. Branch by branch and have left it as a very short shrub size thing. Because it's creating too much shade in my garden. If you want a tall tree, grow your own fucking tree

Forgot to add thanks for subjecting us to your crappy music and weed fumes as well. Hope you catch plague!!

and breathe

Solidarity with everyone suffering from neighbours from Hell

Wish it would just rain. It’s not natural for Scotland to be sunny, it brings all the arses out

Fcuk off with the chainsaw, ride on lawnmower and every other motorised tool you decide to use at the front of your house in the afternoon - you are retired.
You have known for 5 years DH works nights.
Do the front in the morning and the back in the afternoon you inconsiderate arse.
You know we don’t have another bedroom.

You are selfish noisy dickheads, and ffs put a top on