Can't say it to your neighbours during lockdown? Say it here.

[RestYourHead]

To my next door but one neighbour who has been using his jet washer all day for the last 3 days:

Whatever it is you're jet washing, I'M FAIRLY SURE ITS CLEAN NOW

Ah that's better.

I know I know, live and let live etc, just wanted somewhere to say it.

I wish you would speak proper Spanish and not a regional dialect, so that when you’re out in your garden having really loud conversations on speaker, I’d at least be able to earwig!

To my other neighbour at the back, stop peering over MY fence when next door are having their loud phone conversations, and muttering about bloody foreigners. Not only are you muttering at the wrong garden, you’re also a disgusting, xenophobic individual.

And to balance things out:
Thank you to the lovely neighbour who put out a little parcel of mini Easter eggs on everyone’s doorstep. You’ve no idea how much it meant to me.

Thank you to the amazing neighbour who turns out is also an amazing baker and has now put their bakery online, and are making and delivering gorgeous, delicious sourdough bread to my doorstep.

Thank you to my weed smoking neighbours who moved out one week after lockdown kicked it. I’m so glad you left, as I don’t think I would have been able to enjoy my garden with the stench of your very poor quality weed filling the air.

I'm so sorry your precious son suddenly died just short of his 19th birthday. I badly wanted to give you a hug but couldn't because of the distancing thing. I meant it when I said to call if you ever needed anything or just to talk. I wish I was better at comforting you and I'm glad you have lots of family near by.

I wish I had something nice to say about my neighbours but every single one on this row and some from across the road have broken the rules, multiple times in multiple ways and then they clap for the NHS every week

The 'tiki bar/hovel' you've built right on the border of our fences is a fucking eyesore. I might accidentally burn it down with a stray firework next November.

I'm grateful that NDN 1 is lovely. We take turn in bringing our bins in, chat (social distancing over the fence), etc.

New neighbours on the other side are a young couple with a baby. The man keeps having his friends round, loud cars, etc. Not so nice.

I've now put net curtains up (terraced houses, with the footpath about a metre from the windows) as the person diagonally across the street (NDN3) deliberately walks past my window to look in. Person is a former classmate of mine, who doesn't seem to have changed from the bully they were at school. There's no reason to walk past my house, as the direct route is on the other side of the road, so they are definitely walking past in order to look in.

Stop being a fucking control freak. Just because you live in the flat above me does not make you my landlord. I own the fucking house. You do not get to dictate when I get my hedges cut (I have a guy come and cut them every year btw, he's just not been yet), we don't need to get the outside of the house painted again, it was done 3 years ago. Your fucking waste pipe is leaking into my garden and I don't want to have to tell you again, I will have to report it if it doesn't get fixed. When you removed the porch from the side of your house, it left cracks on the wall and now both my bedrooms have water damage and the plaster is crumbling off the walls. Get it fixed.
I have lived in this house 10 years and have had so much work done inside and out done. Our garden (front and back) are one of the nicest in the street. I think he's lived here possibly his whole life and his garden is a complete shit hole. His idea of doing anything is to have someone come in a strim the jungle he lets it grow into, once a year.

I'm menopausal and struggling with burning hot sweats.

As you have your chiminea going all evening with copious amounts of smoke I have the joys of having to sleep with closed windows.

I can't say it because they struggle to hear me from two metres away - but if I could, I would say 'I absolutely loved seeing you playing bowls on the lawn together last night'. And I can see them now sitting together under their sunshade.

they are well into their eighties and he is a cancer patient. Long may they reign!

and of course they keep their garden immaculate, don't play loud music, don't have a dog and the grandchildren are well past the shrieking stage.

Love, you're a 40 year old grown woman. There was no need for the cartwheel display down the middle of the street on Thursday after the clapping.

I understand your kids are bored but after the 3rd night of you sending them out to jump and scream on the trampoline just as soon as I'm putting the baby down for the night it starts to feel intentional!

You don't need the radio or music playing all day. In summer they sit in the garden from morning till night with the radio on. It's not really loud but it's fucking irritating.