Can't say it to your neighbours during lockdown? Say it here.

[RestYourHead]

To my next door but one neighbour who has been using his jet washer all day for the last 3 days:

Whatever it is you're jet washing, I'M FAIRLY SURE ITS CLEAN NOW

Ah that's better.

I know I know, live and let live etc, just wanted somewhere to say it.

To the dicks next door - stop slamming your doors all the fucking time. Cupboard doors, internal doors, back and front doors. Why?!?! Also, you are so loud, so don't pace outside whilst on the phone. I don't need to hear your long phone calls. I can hear you with my windows shut! And move your fucking fire pit away from the houses! It's right underneath my sons window. His room is south facing, has been known to get up to 30'c in summer and I won't be able to keep his window open at night as you keep lighting your crappy little fire pit as it stinks. What do you keep burning?!
To the druggie the other side - I appreciate you are quiet, but your garden is a mess and I'm sure there are rats living in there. Please sort it out. Also, your drug dealer friend sitting in your front garden right next to the front door to chat to you is not 2m away!

Think we may be neighbours OP - the jet washer has been on constantly since Thursday for a house in my road too. Twats. Also the bloke building the ugliest extension in the world for over 2 years now GET A FUCKING MOVE ON AND FINISH IT. Every single Bank Holiday, sunny weekend and good garden day. I hate him.

Your children are vile little shriekers, I don't want to hear them on the few sunny days that we're going to get, hollering at the top of their lungs.

I mean, they literally stand there and shriek at the top of their voice capacity. Its so fucking antisocial. Even your partner can't stand them and his car, parked in the street, is now buffed to a high sheen.

They're so vile, they managed to tattle tale on DS for something he didn't do, through the space of two fences and a footpath. For the love of fuck, control your nasty brats.

Please, please, please, for the love of god, put up a proper 6ft fence between us!!

I feel I am completely overlooked by you in my garden and in my home and it makes me so uncomfortable. I'm sure you're not watching me, but it often feels like that. I open my door and heads shoot up in my direction or I hear a comment, my personal favourite "Oh F* I thought she was at work".

It would help buffer the noise from your garden, your DC like to shout and they swear (a lot), you may not even notice it anymore, but it is incredibly loud. It would also stop some of the debris (weeds, balls, DCs stuff, rubbish etc) that ends up coming in to my garden.

I would put one in myself, but I don't have the money, it's your boundary and I'm not prepared to pay out when it'll only get smashed up by footballs and the things your DC explode and smash up in the garden (usually when you're not around).

I don't think you even realise how much the slamming of doors, shouting and swearing might impact others. I think you are so used to it now and I don't even think I am a second, third or fourth thought in your busy lives

it's your boundary

The boundary doesn't belong to anyone, so you can put up a fence.

@Lightofthephoenix - yes. Phew

Wow so many people have low tolerance of others 😳

Turn your fucking TV down

I am sick to the back teeth of hearing it blaring all night long

Thank fuck you aren't next to me. Otherwise I would completely lose the plot.

BlindAssassin

I think your neighbours formerly lived next to us.

Thank fuck they moved. They would dictate the times we got up and went to bed

Noisy selfish fucks

Shut your fucking kids...that endless screaming is driving me fucking crazy. All of the other kids in the area play nicely, why don't yours???

Oil your front gate. Please.

Sorry to all with shredded nerves due to inconsiderate neighbours.

Sometimes it's a pain in the arse living in the middle of nowhere but my God, it makes me grateful that our nearest neighbours are half a mile away in any direction.

We'll have to downsize at some point and I'm concerned about living near people again!

Stop playing your shitty dance music every damn weekend when my husband and I are trying to relax or sleep! Also stop loudly stomping around up there, swearing loudly and slamming doors you stupid selfish fuckwit. And stop pretending to be all pally with me when you see me and talking over me when I'm trying to politely ask you to keep the noise down. I just want you to shut the fuck up and be considerate to the rest of us who are unfortunate enough to live in the same building as you!

If you must to sit in your window playing bass constantly could you please either shut the bloody window or put some headphones on? It’s like torture being stuck in the house listening to your fucking awful noise.

Clapping for the NHS and other essential workers are agree with but beeping your car horns is totally unnecessary. If you do it this Thursday my vengeance will be swift

To my NDN1, I don't mind getting your bits and pieces of shopping whilst I'm on essential travel for work 1 day per week but I'm not making a special trip (10 miles to town) for your fucking kamalata olive bread.

To my NDN2, seeing as you have so many family visitors get them to do your big shop. I've found out that you are not in any of the vulnerable categorys and you are just taking the piss now and I cant get shopping of my own because you take up my fruit and veg purchase limit.

To poor NDN3, you are doing a great job at the care home and I'm sorry theses other idiots seem to think we should be running around after them when they should be doing just as much to help you. I look forward to seeing you again after this is over for that bottle of Prosecco I have on chill.

All the doorstep clapping, rainbow pictures, notes on your bin thanking the bin men, community group FB posts in the world don't make up for the fact that you and your DH are out of the house every day visiting your not so elderly, perfectly healthy, mobile parents at their house each day.
Turns out it's a small world and my friend is your parent's neighbour. Your brother, sister, nephews and nieces have joined in the garden party on more than one occasion too.
Sounds like you all had a great time on Saturday night.
You F'ing idiots.

Dear neighbours.

When you hear us bellowing at the children, please know that we have asked them nicely several times beforehand and/or they have done something dangerous to a sibling. They are well behaved on the general scale, but are in each others’ faces most of the day long and are bickering more than usual. You don’t hear us having a lovely time with them and the apologies (from both sides) and cuddles afterwards.

I know you can hear us much more than we can hear you. And that we are much louder than you are. Please do have forebearance - we don’t have late nights, bonfires, building work, and only have parties and bbqs a few times a year and none at the moment. I’m really very sorry and self conscious our children shout in the garden but at least they are only allowed out there 2-3 of hours a day and we try to tell them to keep it down.

I don’t clap for the nhs and we haven’t got a rainbow but don’t judge us. We have donated a substantial amount to a charity providing PPE directly to hospitals.

I think you have gone overboard on the motivational bunting.

I could say it but it's never been appropriate without sounding a bit creepy-

You're all ace. We couldn't wish for better neighbours and we're eternally grateful that you're ours (especially the batty one next door )

Why are none of you out clapping the nhs in my road when several of you have either recently been in hospital or have called the ambulances out (and yes they are all fit enough now to get to the door).

You stand there clapping every week yet you're the worst one for thinking the rules don't apply to them. You have guests making nonessential trips in cars to stand 2 feet away from you in your front garden to chitchat. What I wouldnt give to see my relatives! It's a joke!
You have excessive packages arriving and stand close to delivery people not obeying any social distancing despite having key worker in your household!
You have your teenagers partners arriving during the lockdown to stay over nighy mixing households! Yet you stand and clap, ridiculous!

Also at the idiots afew doors down who had a massive garden party...we would have reported them if hadn't have realised towards the end of it.

"Turn the music down!" and "lockdown isn't a holiday so stop stinking everyone's washing out with BBQs any time the sun is in the sky".

I'm really tolerant of noise in gardens and find the 'peaceful enjoyment' crowd to be irritating moaners who complain at anyone using their garden, but the summer holidays approach to lockdown is starting to irritate me. I should be able to put laundry on the line and go about my day without worrying about playing BBQ roulette any time after lunch.

Stop sunbathing in your garden completely stark bollock naked in full view of our upstairs windows. You look like a Bubbles from Little Britain, we don’t want to see that!