Can't say it to your neighbours during lockdown? Say it here.

[RestYourHead]

To my next door but one neighbour who has been using his jet washer all day for the last 3 days:

Whatever it is you're jet washing, I'M FAIRLY SURE ITS CLEAN NOW

Ah that's better.

I know I know, live and let live etc, just wanted somewhere to say it.

No shops are never normally open on Easter Sunday.

No the Chinese do not need to be “held accountable” for coronavirus and “made to pay”.

Who the fuck have you had round in your garden for the last 4 hours? I know they don’t live there.

This isn’t a holiday, it is a fucking pandemic. Stop acting like idiots.

At least it’s making me less bothered about whether our washing machine disturbs them in the night - I no longer care.

Hello very loud lady above me, but I can hear your normal speaking voice in EVERY ROOM, you really need to turn down the volume in your hob.
Hello people next door who play very loud music and who have parties which lead to street festivals right outside my flat - can you change the track. True colours by Phil Collins on continuous play is no longer funny.

Move your fecking blow up bloody hot tub! It must be about 6 feet from my french doors, dd2s bedroom window is just above them, you have plenty of space to site it away from the fence we don't want to listen to your boring hot tub chat or shite music while we are sitting in our livingroom.

To our immediate neighbours - please stop your teenage daughters having boys round. And you blanking us is particularly upsetting in these awful times. There’s just no need for it. A simple “ Hi how are you?” wouldn’t kill you. To our neighbours all around, please stop your bloody dogs barking their bloody heads off!

I would like to, at least once a day, be able to go into my garden and not have your children accosting me with chit chat, whether I am putting washing out, watering plants, looking at the sky or picking my nose.

I know they are only being friendly, but STOP FUCKING TALKING AT ME ALL THE TIME.

And because a fence panel broke, they are now also looking at me IN MY HOUSE and talking to me in there too.

We can see your builders. We know they aren't observing social distancing. In fact they had some mates round and had a catch up in your front garden. Oh and pleased to see local enterprise is alive and well on the other side given the volume of weed smoked this weekend.

It's not been fun.

Get back into your flats your not family and communal gardens are not own gardens,

Please don't give your fucking kids a bastarding karoke machine and chuck them outside for 2 hours every time the weather is nice.

If I hesr your 8 year old screeching her way through any more Ed Sheran songs I will fucking poke the hosepipe overthe fence and hopefully blow the lot up.

Anyone else reading/has read this thread and got to the end and thought, not me yet.

Not a complaint, as such - but to my neighbours who are building an extension - do you realise that now you’ve laid the foundations and filled in the enormous hole you disputed for them, I will have nowhere handy to dispose of dh, if he carries on obsessing about his symptoms (which are mild to non-existent) and whether he has CV, and about the government statistics on CV!

can you keep the weed smoking to when my 18 month old is not playing in the garden instead of constantly, it stinks and it’s making you look like a hag and stop having people over and sending your weedy boyfriend out for more Carling. In fact just send him out and tell him not to come back you were a nice neighbour before his druggy ass came on the scene!

Normal people do not build a bench all the way along a six foot fence & then ALL (whole family, so mum, dad, teenaged son & toddler who has to be held up by one of the others) stand on the bench & stare into their neighbours kitchen multiple times a day.
They don't stand on the same bench & stare at their neighbours if they dare go into their garden.
All without saying a word even if you catch their gaze.

I put a blind up on that one window, it was a clue I really don't like it.
You are creeping me out.

I can hear every word of your family Zoom conference through the wall right now. Turn the fucking telly down.

Stop leaving the house every hour (whole house shakes when they slam the front door - semi detached) surely you have enough garden plants now.
And please don't say that massive Christmas type tree you have in your garden is going to go against our fence. It will block out the sun!

Exercise is not limited to an hour!

In Scotland the advice is definitely up to an hour or exercise. Gove also clarified that in one of the earlier updates.

Whether it is in the "rules" or not is not the point. The spirit of the rules is to minimise your time outside of your home as much as possible. Anyone spending hours outdoors exercising is not doing their bit to help curb the spread of this virus.

And to my NDN - I can lend you a (sanitised) tape measure as you obviously have no idea how far two meters from your 2 gardeners is!! (Clue your arms aren't long enough to shake hands!!!)

I’d like to drop a brick on your fucking remote controlled car, you pathetic man, and have your dog rehomed so you can’t torment him into yapping all fucking day.

I so wish I could say it in rl, but I like his wife and don’t want to upset her.

Young couple over the road, you really are lovely people but I cannot believe that you can’t hear your dog barking like a dripping tap. Bark. Bark. Bark. Etc.

Nice new neighbour next door, yes you’re lovely but you and all your grown up children are a lot noisier than the elderly lady that used to live there. Please calm your dog down and please tell your son not to hang out of his window with his music blaring. I can see him from my chair and he can see me.

Sorry for all the noise, I can hardly bare it and its my own family. Pray for nurseries to open soon!

Dear neighbour.....You do not have to go outside to make a phone call on a mobile, and generally the other person on the phone can hear you without you having to shout.

Ooh to the idiot next door to me, will you stop wandering round with no top on and using your hot tub as a bath. every. single. day. its annoying and I cant walk past my window without it feeling like I'm spying on you. I'm not.
To my other neighbour, do you not realise that frosted glass does not stop the whole street from seeing you naked when you shower in the evenings with the lights on. It's not a pretty sight!

I cannot believe so many of your neighbours are bringing friends round. Call 101 fgs. Or will will be in crisis for far far longer. Just do it

Oh neighbour a few doors up, leaving parking cones around your car makes you look like a dick, you don't own the fucking road

Please stop putting bird food out and then shooting at the birds that come to get food for their young, it's making us so sad, and worried to use our own garden

@CalDani I’d report that to the police, it’s illegal

People downstairs, you must be finding lockdown easy since you have done nothing, literally nothing, except sit indoors watching TV for the last NINE YEARS. Never even go in your massive garden. (At least you are relatively quiet, thank heaven).

People in London, now you have a ton of time, how about getting off your blotchy arses and clearing the litter and dumped shit out of your front gardens, sweeping your steps, pulling up some weeds, and stopping your houses looking like a PIGSTY. Learn some pride and self respect.