Can't say it to your neighbours during lockdown? Say it here.

[RestYourHead]

To my next door but one neighbour who has been using his jet washer all day for the last 3 days:

Whatever it is you're jet washing, I'M FAIRLY SURE ITS CLEAN NOW

Ah that's better.

I know I know, live and let live etc, just wanted somewhere to say it.

What on earth possessed you to put your new seating set right next to out boundary wall where, due to living on a hill and you being higher than us we how have even less privacy than we did before. And no, I'm not going to use my garden differently because you are sat on your new seats next to the boundary wall. We're not noisy people and I'm not tip toing around. Dont like it, move your seats!! By the way, we'll have a fence added to the top of the wall in less than a week. Which is what you should have offered to do!!

‘The fucking idiot’ was not ignoring you he is just a 10 year child with hearing loss. I’ve moved the goal as I’m all for good relations but I will not stop my children playing.

Just shut the fuck up please! You're a 46 year old woman talking in that loud way kids do when they think they're edgy and crazily interesting to overhear. You've sat in the garden loudly yapping to your new toyboy and laughing ridiculously at everything he says, since 9am and we're cringeing the other side of the fence. Oh, and fuck off with your daily 1pm BBQs when I've got washing out.

No its not just a bad cold you stupid @@@@! Now f off and don’t come back!

Superb @Longdistance hope they get fined! To the pricks 3 doors down... Did you actually wait for the first sunny day of the year to burn plastic, you ignorant, arrogant twats? Next door, FFS control your brats. Screaming and shrieking at them constantly only leads to them doing same back to you! It's constant! Thanks for putting rotting rubbish bags against our fence too, smells great.
Finally, next door again, your husband isn't permitted to run a garage in our drive, especially not having his friends over to fix and sell cars. Stop pouring diesel oil in our shared drain, cos when housing association has to clear them, I will tell them you're not even permitted to live here cos you're committing fraud.
Fuck that feels good!!

Why, when we have lovely gardens overlooking open fields to the back of our houses, not overlooked at all, do you sunbathe on a towel on the stony front drive with passing cars?
Oh, and your DS2 smokes weed when you go out.

Don't get your dad over to pull down that old greenhouse.

To the other side stop going out, stop your DS coming backwards and forwards and having his work colleagues over too.

My kids are just as entitled as anyone else to be in the communal garden and are being very considerate of other people's spaces so please, stop moaning. I know you hate kids but if you want to live in a kid-free zone you should really be in a rest home.

Stop having bonfires when my washing is out!
Having to rewash everything once again!

This is a timely thread. My selfish twat of a next door neighbour who moved in during the summer has an obsession with power tools and his DIY workmate bench or whatever it's called. This morning he was at it for 3 hours and has stopped me from getting proper rest after working on the front line with this virus. He makes constant noise, looks like a complete testosterone deficient tosspot trying to be all manly. What he doesn't know is that earlier I fantasised about his sander/angle grinder/noisy machine thing slipped and gave him a genital injury. I have no idea why his girlfriend thinks he is a good person to live with. He has the potential to piss off 9 neighbouring gardens at the back of his and mine to the side. He has stopped me and my son enjoying the nice weather this easter in the garden because we can't bear to listen to yet another bang, whack, whirr or ear splitting shrieking shite coming from his back garden. I'm that close to reporting him to environmental health. Such a selfish asshole. Phew.. feel a bit better for that

Dont the 2nd home rules apply to you then?

Stop your effing motormouth adult daughter from visiting every day. She's got a mouth like a foghorn, I don't need to hear her pontificating about lockdown rules for everyone else! At least I know what time she plans to visit for the following day and I can be inside with the windows shut. And breathe

Stop using the PPE your employer provides for your 2 nights a week job when you go shopping every other day, when you still go to cut peoples hair, when your DH goes to the bin, tinkers with his car or does some gardening FFS!
And stop arguing with your employer loudly on the phone that they should give you more, because you've rattled through it with no thought for people who might actually use it properly.

We have ALL paid for our TV licence, we don't need to hear yours.

Sorry for the noise. Our garden is huge and we have had to cut all of our trees/bushes down so even when talking at normal volume you can hear every word.

To specifically the house opposite - where are you dumping all of your garden waste?

Why are you sitting outside in your front yard? Why are you playing loud music? Why do you think any of us want to see or hear you? P.s. once lockdown is over I hope you don't continue your habit of banishing your noisy children from your house from dawn til dusk every single day. Those of us who work nights or work from home shouldn't have to put up with constant screaming and singing, day in, day out. This was a quiet neighbourhood until you moved in.

Perhaps I'll put some of this into a letter.

@RestYourHead do you live the other side of my neighbour? He’s done the same thing and it’s for like an hour each time. So bloody noisy!

Please clear up your fucking dog shit!!! (3 dogs)

I like to have my morning cuppa in the garden but the stench, especially first thing makes me want to vomit and in this heat!!

Just clear it up!!!

Stop burning your garden waste when I have my washing out on the bloody line. You can see that my washing is out, we don’t have bloody fences!!!!!
You can see it’s a bloody nurse uniform, I don’t have time to be pissing washing everything twice cos you want to burn your waste EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY.

Handfulofflowers
Same problem here, been trying to get the council to do something for 7 years, had a court date before the lockdown

Now is not the time for your children to learn how to play basket ball

Thud thud

My kids will play in the garden whenever they like for as long as they like because it it my fucking house and my family will use it as we please.

And while I wont let them scream the place down I will not tell them to play like two fucking mutes just to please you. Its alright for me to have to listen to your hot-tub right outside my window with 6 people babbling at all hours, or for you to bang around like a herd of elephants or for your whiny kids to whinge and cry 24/7 but mine dare to laugh in the garden and its crime of the century.

Fucking weirdos.

There that feels much better. I am very calm and polite in real life so stick to just ignoring them usually.

I know you don't live there during the week.

I know it's a second home and you live elsewhere In the county.

I know you come and stay at weekends for some random reason.

Why the fuck are you here this weekend. Bans on going to your "second home" also include homes in the same fucking county you live in?

Why do the rules not include your selfish arses?

When you are power washing you manky house, the filthy water is spraying on me and my windows.

Your kids sound like chipmunks and scream like banshees.

Tell your friends to go home and stop having bbqs.

Turn off James blunt, I know all the words to goodbye my lover as you played it on loop.

If you cut your grass anymore you will soon be down to the soil.

I seen you dump all your rubbish in my wheelie bin last week, it's now behind your shed, I just hope there wasn't any food in it.

What are you washing in your machine? Fucking spanners..?

If your kid blows her tin whistle while jumping on the trampoline for 4 hours again, I'll stick it up her nose.

Don’t get me wrong, you all seem like lovely people, but I miss the people who lived there before you. They were professional musicians, and used to practice in the garden in the summertime and it was absolutely delightful. It’s not quite the same with the dude in the back room with the squeaky voice teaching himself to play the Monkees’ greatest hits on his guitar, and you in the front room with your weird New Age chanting.