Can't say it to your neighbours during lockdown? Say it here.

[RestYourHead]

To my next door but one neighbour who has been using his jet washer all day for the last 3 days:

Whatever it is you're jet washing, I'M FAIRLY SURE ITS CLEAN NOW

Ah that's better.

I know I know, live and let live etc, just wanted somewhere to say it.

@BlackeyedSusan I feel your pain

Which part of social distancing don’t you get??? Yesterday a random on a motorbike came over and today a woman?! Also your musics is too loud and it’s shit.

I have lovely neighbours. But their family visits twice a week. Doesn’t matter if you are in the garden or not, you are putting your elderly parents at risk.

I’d love to see mine, but I can’t because that’s the rules.

Having your grandchildren to visit by getting them to stand infront of my door if not self-isolating. And then the row with your daughter in law just added to the fun, you absolute Cnut.

Oh yeah, and all the people that don't live there that are coming and going all the time? They can sod off too.

@VioletCharlotte could your DM please tell him to stop

Stop smoking weed every night in your garden!! Latter the kids went to bed last night I went and sat out with a cold cider and had just begun to relax when the wharf of cannabis comes over the fence. My DS' bedroom even smells of it as he's had the window open due to the heat

@furryfritter Hampshire?

To my next door neighbour - teach your kids some manners, stop them screaming at the top of their lungs all day too. Would also be nice if they stopped throwing random shit into my garden.
Stop inviting people over, calm down with the drink as you can't handle it and keep your bloody voice down as you can be heard on the next estate (yes really, you gobshite). A daily delivery of alcohol from your mates is not essential either.

To next door but one, just because it's Easter doesn't mean they suspend the rules on having family round and letting the grandkids play in the garden. Also, air doesn't stop at your fence, speaking with all your neighbours less than a metre away from them could still mean you catch CV. I'd have thought you'd be more wary with you both being in poor health.

Stop behaving like the head girl of our street with your constant fucking WhatsApp updates and photos of who you've helped today. We're all helping each other - we just don't bang on about it all fucking day. And shut your shrieking kids up too - there are loads of kids in our street and they all play outside. Why are yours the only ones who just scream?

I feel better now, thanks.

Just because you’re still at work three days a week doesn’t mean social distancing doesn’t apply the rest of the time. Stop having people in and out all of the time.

Stop your teenage son from hoiking up phlegm loudly every 10 minutes!!!!

Stop telling everyone you're vulnerable then having your entire family including grandkids around this afternoon. Not to mention teenage son in the road with his mates washing all their cars with music blasting, and grandkids racing up and down playing with the kids from the house above!

STOP HAVING BONFIRES. That's been a huge one over the last few weeks. I get that more people are out in their gardens and doing jobs - so am I - but I'm not burning having bonfires 24/7!!

Stop having people not from your household popping round. And yes, it still counts even if they come in through the back door!

No. 1 Sunny day when everyone's stuck at home is definitely the best time to spent all day chainsawing your tree then create a massive smoky bonfire from your trimmings.

No. 2 Ooh new ladder, that's nice, how about you fuck off indoors with your new ladder and stop spending all weekend doing jobs which involve looming over my garden destroying what little privacy I have.

@RestYourHead oh no there's TWO of them!

Thank you for buggering off to your parent's country house during lockdown and taking your noisy dogs and children with you. It has been absolute bliss without you here! Although please dont pop back to the house for a sneaky session with the boyfriend you dont live with like you have done previously!

Fuck off with your chlamydia soup sex pond you vulgar twats. I didn’t pay all this money for a nice detached house just to live next door to chavs who think a hot tub is the height of sophistication.

Stop power hosing for three bloody hours a very small garden and destroying my windows that I just cleaned , stop using your electric saw and sander every bloody day and please god make them stop the horrible bbq god only knows what they are burning on it cause the smell would choke you and to all the other neighbours stop letting your children out playing every single day . That felt so good to get it off my chest. Thank you

Oh and turn your TV down you fuckwits

To my anti-vaxx, anti-5G, Icke-believing, conspiracy theorist of a cousin - no, I don't agree with you. Your full selfish twattishness is shining bright for all to see.

I genuinely worry for your already barely controllable young children. Please stop screwing with their physical & mental health.

And please stop sending me links to petitions on social media, you idiot.

Your BBQ stinks and wafts smoke into our garden, what coals/fuel are you burning cause it feckin stinks and why do you have to light it mid afternoon every day, means we have to vacate our garden and shut all windows. There is a killer virus and I don’t want my family breathing in your horrible fumes. I now don’t give a shit at how loud our music is or what time I let DDog in the garden in the morning even though she barks and you get up for work early and would appreciate not being woken up at silly o’clock on a bank holiday. Works both ways.

Next door but one. Why on earth would you hold a BBQ, invite your friends over, then get so hammered you didn't care that your children were playing outside my home until gone 9pm unsupervised. I doubt you even noticed.

Sorry for being so noisy. Trying to keep it down in the garden with teenagers and toddlers is hard and we are doing our best. Thank you for still smiling at us when you walk your dog, I know we must be driving you mad!

Please get rid of or at least oil the trampoline. Also when your kids are screeching non stop try shushing them. We've a long summer ahead and we all want to enjoy our gardens.