Can't say it to your neighbours during lockdown? Say it here.

[RestYourHead]

To my next door but one neighbour who has been using his jet washer all day for the last 3 days:

Whatever it is you're jet washing, I'M FAIRLY SURE ITS CLEAN NOW

Ah that's better.

I know I know, live and let live etc, just wanted somewhere to say it.

Why the fuck are you hoovering your garden you weirdos???

starrysimon Thanks for the solidarity. They are a lovely family and I am being a miserable old bag to moan about them as they are much better than most of the neighbours described on this thread ... but the non-stop high volume performance parenting is exhausting to listen to !

Thanks for looking out for me and giving me home made soup and checking I'm ok 🤗

Please drop. Dead you utter creeps.

@crankysaurus Hoovering the garden? Now that is weird.

Is it a gadget for hovering up dog poo? www.trafalgarcleaningequipment.co.uk/poovac

@crankysaurus do they have AstroTurf?

Dear neighbours,

I understand that now is the perfect time to start whatever DIY project you are currently undertaking (are you building a new house within your existing house because I've lived here almost two years and you've been doing loud DIY every weekend since the day I moved in?) but some of us still have to work so could we try to limit the noise to one of the following at a time:
General DIY sounds such engines revving, lawnmowers, hammers, Jack hammers (that's what it sounds like your using from inside my house)
Barking dogs
Excessively loud 90s pop music
Screeching and cackling
Excessivly loud conversations about how smashed you were last night with the woman five doors up.

Tia.

I take calls as part of my job and I'm sick of my customers asking if I need to take a minute to deal with my dogs. No, no I do not need to deal with my dogs because it is not my dogs you can hear. I wish they were my dogs because my dog has trained not to bark like a banshee when frah air hits it but sadly, they are not my dogs. Ditto the loud music. Sick of being asked if I could turn it down so my customers can hear me properly. I'm currently sweltering in my kitchen with all the doors and windows closed and can still hear S Club 7 playing word for word along with two dogs barking and a car engine revving. Stop. Just stop. Please for the sake of my sanity and ear drums and my job.

Dear Neighbour,
Please stop smoking in the room next to ours. stop having your family round all the time, please stop your idiot drug dealer son from revving his car at 3am and for your own sake, please stop going to the mosque. You are not a young man and could be at risk. For you and your family's sake. Stop going.

Two doors down if I hear 'abc' by the Jackson 5 one more time I am going to personally deafen you with mozart. Also, the neighbour in between us a nurse working nights in the hospital down the road, who are so busy their morgue is full.

Have some consideration, you don't live in isolation, you live in a three bed terrace with paper thin walls you selfish twat.

To neighbour across the road. If you hoover your jeep anymore there will be nothing left of it. I promise you it is clean now.

To whole street. Can we all please decide on a day and time for garden power tools including hedge trimmers, lawn mowers, jet washers etc and get it out of the way. I swear you are all taking it in turns to make the incessant droning last as long as possible.

Stop burning rubbish every single evening! The weather is glorious and my windows are open. Every night for 2 weeks you start burning rubbish with horrible billowing grey and black clouds of smoke. My garden is covered in ash 😡😡

Nosey neighbours just because we have a low fence doesn't make it acceptable to look into my backgarden and into my windows. We dont have one big back garden and it is separated for a reason so when I step out my back door I dont need to be stared at every time, concentrate on your own house and not mine. Also yes we wear shorts when it is hot, not everyone sits there in big coats on a summers day! We dont need to hear your irritating overly projected voices saying you're a tight wad either!

OMG THE FUCKING DOG.

AGAIN.

Sorry. Just driving me nuts!

piefacedClique no, not AstroTurf, just grass and slabs. They have several dogs and are constantly hoovering the house but this is going a long way beyond normal.

Get rid of the copious amounts of wind chimes from your garden ffs, you are not a hippy commune, and it's nice to hear the birds now and again without all the jingle jangle

I agree. Fortunately I don't have this problem but I have in the past.

I deeply resented having to close the bedroom window just after daybreak in the summer because rather than listen to the gentle twitter of birds I had the fucking awful rattle and tinkle of NDN's windchimes.

This wound me up and ruined my peaceful enjoyment. Don't care if I come across as a moaner. OTOH I don't have to play barbeque roulette when I put the washing out on the line.

Christ. To Neighbour 2 from my previous post - Why is (who I presume is) your Mum dropping off shopping and then coming into your house when you get shopping deliveries and go out in your car almost daily? I guess it’s so it appears to others she has an excuse to be there. As soon as she came inside your house, where your husband has been hacking up lungs and your two young children are, another car pulled up and more visitors piled in! Not only are you horrendously flouting the lockdown rules your visitors are also blocking both of my driveways and making it hard to socially distance if I need to leave the house by hanging around my front door smoking fags. Of which the smoke is coming into my living room windows.

I find it hilarious that you were loudly bitching about other neighbours ‘having parties’ next to my open windows the other day. I remember you loudly exclaiming ‘you’re not even supposed to be seeing family!!’. I see you’re a massive hypocrite as well as a selfish idiot.

P.s. Maybe don’t loudly tell your 4th visitor of the day (yesterday) that you’ll be at their party later when all my windows and French doors are wide open. Then proceed to go to said party leaving your 2 under 10s home alone for hours til way past 9pm. Sounded like the house was going to fall down with all the banging from them. You’ve made me very bitter as I’m not even able to see my own child as she’s isolating elsewhere. If you continue to have visitors in your home and tell the whole neighbourhood you go to parties then I won’t hesitate in reporting you. I’m not sacrificing being with my 4yo so you can carry on as normal and take the utter piss. Have you not noticed my daughter hasn’t been home since the lockdown started? So selfish

So, you left London just before lock-down. I assume you've taken yourselves plus 2 young children down to Devon to stay with one of the sets of parents. Is that a good idea? They must both be over 70.

You've let your house to other people. Would have been nice if you could just have let us know. You have our mobile numbers and email addresses - a message to say "Hey, we are going away, the people staying in our house are x and y".

Dear Village idiots on Facebook,

I am concerned for your health and well being. The famers are shutting the paths that we have walked for years. The famers are not in danger of catching CV from the kissing gate. They have wanted to close those paths for years. Those farmers hate the right of way, even though that is our access to the hills and has been forever.

You are now cheering them on, and agreeing that we need the army in the street. Dear neighbours, have you been outside? There is no one there except a few friendly walkers respecting social distancing. We do not need the army, and resent that you are consenting to give away our right of ways and are concerned that you are asking for marital law.

You are only going to get more fat and depressed if you don't get out. Go for a walk. It is a lovely day. You will feel less angry after and be a bit stronger for it. The army is not needed. The birds and flowers are lovely.

Please stop being assholes.

Regards,
CI

Stop smoking weed outside my front door all day every day. Have to keep all of my windows closed you dickhead

Well finally said it to NDN, and it felt good, and just for the record, your daughter screaming cunt at me makes her look as ignorant as your obviously are. All it did was make me want to laugh at her and buy her a dictionary.

Your five children are lovely and normally I wouldn't mind at all the noise theyre making in the garden... but right now I'm stuck in the spare room self isolating with a bad dry cough and a hideous headache. Its at the back of the house overlooking and I can hear them all day long from 8 in the morning to 8 at night.

Please gag them all or put them in the cellar or something.. .just for a few hours

PS thank you for the amazing food you keep leaving in the porch.. you're a brilliant cook and I'm very very grateful and if you're making more of those biscuits I'll have a tin full

listsandbudgets what a bitter woman you are. Your neighbours are kindly leaving you food and you complain about them like that because you are'in spare bedroom at back of the house.' Well maybe move to a different bedroom at the front of the house and have somebody swap with you! Honestly this lock down is affecting everybody and posts like yours are appalling.

I think that is a little harsh, @Yesterdayforgotten. It isn’t unreasonable to be more easily irritated by noise when you are ill - especially on top of all the extra stress we are all feeling at the moment. And @listsandbudgets is venting here, instead of expressing her grumpiness to her neighbours.

Stop letting your dogs out into the garden to bark incessantly for hours on end (applies to many neighbours).