Can't say it to your neighbours during lockdown? Say it here.

[RestYourHead]

To my next door but one neighbour who has been using his jet washer all day for the last 3 days:

Whatever it is you're jet washing, I'M FAIRLY SURE ITS CLEAN NOW

Ah that's better.

I know I know, live and let live etc, just wanted somewhere to say it.

@TheReluctantCountess yes, into the actual garden. They have an extension cable on a reel that they appear to use for just this purpose!

That’s lovely Rockbird!

Dear neighbour,

Why the hell have you dumped a large plastic sweeping brush and polystyrene behind my bins that in front of my living room window at the top of my driveway? I know I’m hormonal but the fuck is wrong with you. Why do you think it’s acceptable? I know it was you as we’ve got CCTV and it would have caught someone dumping things. You, however, can get to the bins without being picked up on the cam. I’ve tolerated enough from you. You, your visitors and your children using my open plan driveways as an extension of your property. Now you’re using my property as your personal tip? You probably think you’re going to get away with it because our living room curtains are usually always shut. Or you think I won’t notice. DH took the meter readings just last week and the waste wasn’t there then so you’ve been caught out.

I have joked to DH about chucking it onto your driveway but I’ll be polite and just lean them against your front porch. Really want to put a sticky note on the brush stating ‘please take me home’ but the humour would probably be lost on you. Again, fucking bizarre behaviour. It’s not acceptable on a normal day but why dump things during a pandemic when you know I’m heavily pregnant and my husband or I will have to touch it to dispose.

Oh, and we can now also deduce it was you who filled our green bin with garden waste. We don’t have any real grass/weeds (paving and Astro).

Dear neighbour,
Please tell your daughter and her boyfriend to stop smoking weed in the bathroom as it makes my house stink!
Also, in case you aren't aware (which I'm pretty sure you are) our walls are paper thin,
So when your daughter fights with her boyfriend at 4 in the morning, we can hear it all. The shouting, the hitting, the smashing things up, the police turning up to make an arrest and your daughter screaming on the door step to be let back in afterwards.
It's pretty fucking shit to have to listen to.

No my husband can’t fix your bloody fence. He is trying to work full time from home and in the evening he is getting our children ready for bed. He can’t even fix our own fence let alone yours and he isn’t a handyman. And why should he when you’ve always been nothing but rude to him since we moved here. STOP BLOODY KNOCKING ON MY DOOR AND WITTERING ON ABOUT YOUR FENCE.

@Hendrixrain what awful neighbours you have

Maybe not in the spirit of the thread, but THANK YOU to my neighbour, who knocked on our door to donate an Easter egg the other day.

I really appreciate it, such a lovely gesture. After a crazy week at work, it meant a lot.

You don’t know me, you don’t know what I do for work, you don’t know if we have children or not, but you still took the trouble to cheer us up with a gift.

THANK YOU

Every day on our dog walk we see your grown up daughter sitting drinking with different friends in the park. She then posts on fb how her, partner and 4 kids have "popped over to see mum and dad" with a picture of them standing about 1 meter away from you handing you shopping. You are both in your 70's but surely you know what she is like by now? Also, putting up a sign a week after my NHS one with "thanks to ALL keyworkers" just makes you look like a dick to me.

They are lovely but sometimes a bit overly righteous.

Left side please please can i have your Tuesday and Thursday night curry recipes? I'm drooling over here.

Right side, it's lockdown not somehow miraculously i cannot see you wearing your skiddy pants in the garden day

Well after my rant about the neighbours one side (I already knew they were idiots) now the other side have been as idiotic.

It was the guy's birthday and they had a few friends round and all sat in the garden pretty close together. He is in his 40's and is a nurse so I would have thought had more sense!

It was my sister's birthday yesterday and I would have loved to have gone and seen her and take her present to her but, because I have some sense and don't want to get or pass on this bloody virus, I didn't go.

@lynsey91 if it was a gathering of more than 2 you should have reported them to 111.

One of my neighbours is coming back most weekdays with a takeaway carton, she is driving for it too; must be some sort of lunchtime special. I thought they were delivery only but obviously not.

Dear Neighbours

Your music choice is appaling.

If 4 people live in the house normally, where have the other 7 come from that regularly appear, you don't even try to stagger it.

If you call you 6 year old a c*nt, don't be surprised if he calls you one back.

I can hear every conversation so when someone is talking about being wanted by the police and when he thinks he will hand himself in, everyone else can hear too. And why did said person feel the need to go through my bin last week.

Your 10 year old daughter is the most polite girl I've ever met, I'm not sure where she learnt it cause it wasn't from you.

Just because Josh on Facebook said the peak was last week and we're now on the way out of it, doesn't mean we are and as there are at least 5 households blending together, one of you must have read the government letter, seen the millions of adverts on TV or scrolled through Facebook and actually read something that is true.

In the mean time if I tell your child to stop trying to climb over the fence in to my garden and stop throwing things in to my garden, please don't take offence, I'm trying to protect my children from dickheads like you.

And breathe.....

Your kids are feral take some fucking control. EVERYTHING you do is loud even your shagging, I don't want to hear you screaming & panting at the top of your lungs neither do my teenagers and I'm even more certain your 12 year old daughter doesn't either. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!

Next door, what are you going to do about the damaged pavers outside my drive that your skip deliveries have caused?

To the 70+ couple at the end of our cul-de-sac. It’s sweet to see you go out to talk with the little boy playing on his bike in the street but you’re not distancing at all and it completely defeats the purpose of the lockdown. Especially since you’re both vulnerable

Don’t want to add too much to this but it’s providing relief to vent!

To the fly tipping, trespassing, generally piss taking neighbours I spoke about in my other post:

I can’t believe I can hear you FaceTiming in your back garden over my fan on full blast and TV on high. In my bedroom. Which is the furthest I can get from your garden in the back part of the house. You’ve both been cackling and jeering for hours. Your phone is also so loud that if I didn’t hear you say FaceTime I’d presume you had visitors over. You’re clearly both narcissists and don’t care I’m also not sure how little shame you, the husband, has when you’re loudly bragging about drinking a Stella to a friend on loudspeaker at 11am on a Wednesday (last week) when you can see and hear me in my garden putting washing out. You have two kids under 10. This isn’t a holiday and I doubt it’ll do them good to grow up watching their dad constantly binge/day drink.

But seriously, shut up! I should not be able to hear you at all. Not even going to consider sitting in my garden today or opening any windows. Haven’t been for a walk in over a week as I’m about ready to pop with this baby and it’s quite obviously so. Incredibly selfish of you. The entire estate doesn’t need to here you 5 hour long phone calls. Also, I’ve been judging you hard ever since you had several visitors in cars over the other day. Clearly think laws/‘rules’ don’t apply to you

Feck that feels better

To my next door neighbours, I do like hearing your young kids playing, I do not like the screaming....please tell them to stop.

Fuck off to the far side of fuck. You don't need to have your drinking game zoom calls in the garden, you don't need to have friends round in lockdown, we don't want to listen to your shitty music all day everyday! And if you're going to insist on blasting out your music then PLEASE do it from your house rather than from your fucking "party house" garden office right next to my fence!

PS I hate you!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Stop doing Zoom quizzes with your friends right by the open window. If I have to hear you trying to 'guess the TV theme tune' from each of you singing one more time you'll need to start singing the Casualty tune.

No more memes. I’m memmed out.

If they're not direct neighbours does it count?

If so, I'd like to tell the household I passed on my run today that having a family get together in the front garden is still mixing households and 2 metres isn't less than half a metre as long as you're in your front garden. Coronavirus doesn't decide not to jump to people because the people socialising together haven't crossed the doorstep, and whilst we're at it it would be great if you didn't have all the kids on bikes and scooters blocking the path as well so everyone else has to cross around your little party.
🙄

I don't care how many affairs he's had please stop arguing about it we don't want to know. Kick him out of forgive him and arguing!!

Not an immediate neighbour, but to one down the road - I do hope you were aware your little girl was licking your front gate the other day. I would have brought it to your attention if I wasn't unable to stop the car at that particular time. I'm not sure that's a good thing at this point in time. . .

that was meant to say stop arguing at the end opps

to the neighbour across please stop slamming the block door and your front door at 2am it wakes my 2-year-old.