Anyone else want a No Judgement rant thread?

[31weeksgone]

This fucking sucks.

The whole thing bloody sucks. We’re in a house, with no garden, with a very “active” 4 year old.

Every single day before lockdown we would be out at the farm/beach/park when not at nursery and work.

DP is a key worker (as was I before I had to stay home to look after her, and started a degree) so whilst I get everyone sacrificing themselves and I’m really grateful, sometimes you need a place to just bloody vent So please don’t jump on me for this.

Stuck at home. With no garden or any outdoor space in this lovely weather, watching everyone out the window enjoying their gardens, with a “D”P I properly hate and was in the process of leaving. I don’t want to feel grateful 24/7 that we’re safe at home, I’m not grateful I’m stuck in, and I want to wallow for 20 minutes without having to be gracious 😡😡

Want to shake anyone who preaches not to go for a walk and to stay home. You’re allowed out for a walk!! It seems none of my neighbours know this the looks I’m getting, I also have to take food to my parents an hour away so no doubt I look dodgy driving away once a week for a few hours.

I was so looking forward to my last summer with my daughter before she started school. Now it’s this.

Anyone else want to rant/wallow/have a pity party please join my thread. No judgement here

Oh please can I rant? I fucking hate this. Our house sale has fallen through, we don't qualify for any help because I haven't been self employed for long enough and we have over 16k in savings. We need to use this so that means no deposit for a new house and staying in this shitty rented, no double glazing, no heating no fucking room house for ever more because we won't be able to buy again. And our neighbours, are dicks and also happen to be our landlord. We will never be able to save the amount we need again.

My kids are being dicks ( I love them dearly and I know they are struggling too) and the shops send my anxiety into a tailspin. Cry in the car park before I even start to queue.

I know we are lucky, we aren't ill, have money to see us through. But the whole situation sucks, our future has been wiped completely off the board. And to top it all, I'm peri menopausal, I've been bleeding and passing clots for nearly 4 weeks, I'm weak, tired and in pain. I actually hate life right now.

Where's the wine....

@mbosnz well yes South East but is there anything next to the green apart from houses is what I should have asked?

Did a sainsburys order with lots of Easter bits in to at least make the Easter weekend bearable stuck in flat in 24 degree weather here. All the Easter stuff was out of stock and substituted. And instead of rasins for my hot cross buns I got DRIED BLUEBERRIES?! FML. Lucky I know to have a slot for click and collect but nothing bloody exciting in it.

The squeaky swing has been replaced by a sanding machine

for everyone

Down the bottom of the common there's a group of shops with a Nepalese restaurant?

I know I'm lucky in that my kids are now in their twenties, I live alone, don't have to look after anyone else and I'm well at the minute. I've been on UC since last year due to severe mental health problems, and I get my money regularly, no worries there.
I hate the looks I get when someone decides I'm too close to them while walking to the shops; yesterday a man tutted at me because I wouldn't stand in the road and get run over when he wanted all the pavement.
I'm sick of the the hostile atmosphere when I go to get my food; it's like everyone is eyeing each other up, judging.
I'm sick of the endless pointless speculation in the media. I'm sick of twats on Facebook. I'm pissed off because my mental health was beginning to improve before this all kicked off; I was starting to think about working and going back to university to finish my degree.
But I don't have anywhere near as bad as some of you; for everyone who is pregnant, anxious and having to give birth without their partner, sending hugs and reassurance. For everyone stuck inside without a garden (me too) and small children, please don't think you're bad parents-you're good parents in a shit situation.
I have no garden (in 3rd floor flat) and where I live, the park is locked up. So all I can do is wander aimlessly up and down main shopping street while police drive past eyeing me suspiciously. I don't have a car, carrying shopping is killing my dodgy joints.
My mental health is declining again because I never see anyone or have anyone to talk to. I probably won't be able to apply for uni this year. I'm frustrated, pissed off and ANGRY all the time (just called my laptop a useless twat) We need to know when this is going to end. Hugs to all of you coping with this crap.

@shouldisay I really really feel for you and it puts my trivial issues into perspective.

I think I’m perimenopausal as well and I was passing clots 2 weeks ago and for the past week I have had major stomach cramps but my periods haven’t came yet, I am over emotional also, are you suffering from the same types of cramps?

Sending virtual hugs and plus

@thesuninsagittarius I am also angry and the other day I screamed and screamed in my house just to try and release some anger, and my pal isn’t helping when she phones me and says that we will be on lockdown until August and she only thinks this due to all the crap she keeps reading from different sources, this was after the call where she thought that this whole thing was a conspiracy theory and that the Government just wanted to control us.

@Inappropriatefemale oh god yes!! The cramps are horrible. Plus the stabbing pains in my left boob. That's a new one on me. Sending you too, it's bloody horrible. Paracetamol, ibuprofen and copious amounts of wine are the way forward I think.

@Inappropriatefemale , your situation is totally valid, as is everyone's else's . Certainly not trivial, sending hugs too ☺️

@shouldisay that is so crap, I’m so sorry. And @thesuninsagittarius that is also sh1t, I know exactly what you mean about the hostile muttering and glares, tossers.

@Inappropriatefemale I know just what you mean. So much speculation, rumour and misinformation. And I know everyone is scared and pissed off but it's never an excuse to act like a dick. I talked to a woman working in a food shop yesterday and she said the worst people for disregarding social distance etc are older men! She told me they won't stand behind the floor markings, moan that they're not allowed to barge past everyone when the shop is only letting in ten customers at a time.
There does seem to be a section of society who think they're above it all, they're not going to catch it and they're too important to have to follow guidelines like everyone else. I'll probably get told off for saying that now...

@Inappropriatefemale nothing worse than clots to make you feel awful, hugs to you too.

I am not getting any boob pains but just cramps and it’s like labour a bit, infact I was drugged up in labour, lol, so it’s worse and especially in the mornings. I don’t want to find out for sure at the doctors though because then I feel like once I have been told officially that I’m on the way to menopause, then the symptoms will come in faster and there will be more! The doctor laughed at this and said it was entirely up to me whether I wanted the blood test to find out if I deffo am but I just know I am, I googled my symptoms and it’s deffo that, plus the forgetfulness is awful.

Thanks @thesuninsagittarius and also @Potterspotter.

I got moaned at today from 2 guys coz I went into Scotmid and didn’t walk the right way to the Q, “well the signs with the direction of the Q have been up since last Monday” one guy said to me very aggressively, I was nearly crying but that’s the dreaded peri

The clots looked like a miscarriage!

I am very lucky where I do live because I have a beautiful big garden. But it’s xompletely spoiled and I don’t want to go out because next door is blaring the radio on ALL DAY! I don’t mind the music he is playing but it’s so loud and constant. Just makes me want to cry. I know it’s nothing in comparison to most people on here though.
I also stressing about money. I’m a teacher without a contact. I’ve been desperate to get a job for August but no jobs posted, obviously. My partner hasn’t got a job either. Maternity pay is rubbish. Neither of us qualify to benefits. Also have loads of bills to pay. I hate lockdown but it really needs to continue a bit longer. I just hope people take it seriously!

They are awful aren't they? I've moved from tampons to a moon cup which seems to make them look all the more gruesome. And I feel your pain about people in shops. It's the tutting, sighing and practically climbing the shelves if it look like your going to be near them. Also, tree pollen hayfever has set in and I get the actual fear if I need to clear my throat when out

@Inappropriatefemale hugs to you, peri menopause is awful. I remember those pains and the bleeding that never seemed to stop. It is shit while it's going on. I'm the other side of the menopause at 53 and it does get better. NO bleeding for nearly 3 years, no painful boobs and no horrible mood swings either. Take care of yourself, bleeding that way can make you feel so low and weak. Iron and vitamin c to help my body absorb it helped a little.

Oh god yes @thesuninsagittarius the judgement olympics going on is fucking rage inducing.

I had to take DD2 out earlier - GP wanted to physically see her about her headaches and vision loss to try to rule out any neurological concerns and the look I got from two gardens further up the road huddled together chatting ignoring any concept of distance was almost enough to make me walk along the road and smack the guy right in the mouth. I was taking a child to the doctors and neither of us have left the house for 3 weeks now - unlike them with their daily dog walks which are anything but - amazed the dog has any legs left with how many times they're up and down the street.

@student26 I have the same issue with selfish neighbours blasting their music! She has been doing it for months usually just at weekend but now because she is home all the time then she is blaring it during the day and it shakes my house I feel, I ended up emailing the housing yesterday and asking them to have a word with her, I’m a coward I admit but I don’t know her or how she would react and I don’t believe for a minute that she hasn’t had complaints before, she lives beneath my flat.

@shouldisay I will try the mooncup so thanks for that, I hate tampons and prefer towels but they’re like nappies!

Shit didn’t mean to use the envy face, I meant to use the smile one.

@thesuninsagittarius I am just 38 as well and feel that I’m far too young for the peri but what can I do.

Thanks for all the lovely supportive comments.

Mooncup has helped ease the cramps but it can sometimes be a bigger with the flow. I'm very heavy so emptying the cup every couple hours just now. And yes far too young I'm a little older than you 42 but still feel I should have a few years yet!!

**bugger