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Original poster

To have to run so I can eat Sunday roast?

169 replies

Jellywormy · 15/03/2020 17:40

No doubt posters will link this to other threads and be mean, but posting as really upset.

We are going to family for Sunday roast tonight and my husband has just had a go at me and said it’s unhealthy and worrying that I have to go for a run to allow myself to eat Sunday roast.

Am I being unreasonable? I would just feel so anxious if I ate a big meal and pudding without having offset it somehow.

Feeling vulnerable so please be kind Flowers

OP posts:
UnaCorda · 15/03/2020 19:42

I’m at low end of healthy weight for my height.

So rationally you must know that saying, "I would just feel so anxious if I ate a big meal and pudding without having offset it somehow" suggests there's some disordered thinking around food going on (as there's no reason to be anxious about one meal if you're on the brink of being underweight).

I could be completely wrong, but I think you posted partly looking for validation but also partly wanting your fears of a nascent eating disorder to be confirmed. I think you know that what your husband said was not unreasonable.

Maybe try just going for a walk with him and then see how your anxiety is regarding the meal.

BertieBotts · 15/03/2020 19:43

Yes I'm a healthy weight. I don't "balance my calories in and out". I have literally never thought about that Confused

NewPapaGuinea · 15/03/2020 19:44

I like to weight train if having a roast then at least I’m putting those macronutrients towards recovery. I wouldn’t stress about it if I didn’t though. Calories over a week (consistency) matter more than a once a week roast.

PickAChew · 15/03/2020 19:47

It is worrying.

And a roast doesn't even have to be all that calorific. A sensible, filling amount of meat, a small portion of taties and loads of veg can be a little as 500 calories.

Babybel90 · 15/03/2020 19:48

I think some people are deliberately missing the point that the OP HAS to go for a run before ALLOWING HERSELF to eat a roast or will feel anxious, and it’s bad enough her husband has noticed and brought it up with her.

We can all agree that doing some exercise and keeping track of how many calories we eat is good practice as part of a healthy lifestyle. That’s not what the OP has described.

UnaCorda · 15/03/2020 19:48

I think so many seem to be missing the point. It’s fine to exercise to keep a balance with eating. What makes this disordered is the extreme anxiety around it.

I agree.

pjmask · 15/03/2020 19:49

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Craftycorvid · 15/03/2020 19:50

Hm, well, I have a smallish appetite I’d probably not be hungry for a roast dinner unless I’d either not eaten during the day or been for a run. For me, I enjoy a nice meal more after exercise and I feel less sluggish. And that’s stress on ‘enjoy’. I like exercise and I like feeling I’m re-fuelling afterwards with some nice food. It sounds uncomfortable to think you have to exercise in order to have ‘deserved’ your dinner. What would it be like to have a less active day, say a walk with your DH rather than a run, and then have dinner? Would that feel ok? It’s true that we ‘burn’ more calories for a while after exercise as it gives our metabolism a rev’, but trying to ‘work off’ calories can become anxiety-provoking in itself.

lazylinguist · 15/03/2020 19:57

Exercising to help you achieve or maintain weight is generally a good thing.
But anyone who can read the OP and not understand that it indicates a disordered attitude to eating is frankly a bit dim. The OP is low weight and is frightened of eating a roast dinner if she hasn't been for a run. She refers to other threads she's posted which people might bring up (which presumably also show evidence of disordered eating).

Misty999 · 15/03/2020 20:01

I don't think there is anything wrong with this offset some of the damage x

motherheroic · 15/03/2020 20:03

The people who think this is about 'feeling sluggish' don't get it. She doesn't allow herself to eat unless she has run. I'm sure most of us do not punish ourselves by not eating if we don't get our exercise done.

Runningonempty84 · 15/03/2020 20:04

Totally missing the point of the thread here, but those claiming a run won't offset a roast clearly aren't runners. Totally normal in my house to run upwards of 2,000 calories of a morning. Which, tbh, would be a decent size roast, and pudding.

OP, I hope you're ok, and that you enjoyed your roast - run or no run.

motherheroic · 15/03/2020 20:06

@lazylinguist More than a bit dim.

MissingLinker · 15/03/2020 20:13

I don't think there is anything wrong with this offset some of the damage x

Damage? It's food. Food isn't damage.
I run, partly because I enjoy it and because it makes me stronger etc. I'm also aware that part of the reason I do it is so I can eat a bit more and maintain a healthy weight.

But that isn't the issue with the OP. It's not healthy to feel anxious about eating a meal without going for a run first.

SewItGoes · 15/03/2020 20:14

Exercise is good, so long as you're not doing it obsessively or putting yourself or others at risk to do it. The problem is feeling that you must run in order to "allow" yourself a particular meal.

You've said you're not overweight, so surely you can "allow" yourself to eat what you want, within reason. There's no need to keep such a short leash on your eating and exercising habits. What harm will a few days without exercise really do?

It's normal to wish you could stick to your familiar routine of running (especially if you enjoy the exercise). It's not so great if you feel anxiety at the prospect of missing a run.

Anonnnn · 15/03/2020 20:14

I totally agree that this is disordered eating and anxiety. I know because I have been there myself. This behaviour is similar to bulimia but the “purging” is through exercise
I cannot believe how many people are saying this is healthy. That’s the problem with our “health” obsessed society ie being skinny
And I still exercise & eat healthily (not excluding any food including “bad” food) but I have been through therapy for my eating disorder & anxiety & compulsive behaviour
Also it is very difficult for anyone to talk any sense into you when you are in this. I remember my DH getting very frustrated with me 😰
Sending love OP recognising what you are doing is the first step

Andcake · 15/03/2020 20:18

@Jellywormy I do it to - exercise to treat myself later. If it’s a compulsion it’s worrying but balancing food with exercise should be how are brains work. I exercise so I can relax about food

WorraLiberty · 15/03/2020 20:19

You don't sound as though you have a healthy relationship with food at all OP.

But if you're worried about having a 'big meal' then why not just have a smaller one?

It doesn't have to be 'big' (whatever big means to you).

BobbyBlueCat · 15/03/2020 20:36

"......but do have habit of being a little obsessive with eating healthily and exercising"

You might want to educate yourself a bit more then about nutrition and healthy eating because you don't understand it.

The calories you'd burn on a run won't even burn off the dessert, nevermind the main. And if you're going off what your Fitbit says, you need to educate yourself on how inaccurate they are.

You need food for energy.
If you want a GOOD run, it needs fuelled effectively.

I'd also suggest you need to have a closer look at how what you're doing is affecting your marriage. If he's bringing it up then it's a problem. You need to address it before it becomes a problem that breaks you apart.

Double3xposure · 15/03/2020 20:42

Totally missing the point of the thread here, but those claiming a run won't offset a roast clearly aren't runners. Totally normal in my house to run upwards of 2,000 calories of a morning. Which, tbh, would be a decent size roast, and pudding

I am a runner and I’d need to run 8 miles to burn off a latte and a muffin. The Op says she’s at the lower end of her BMI, so pretty light.

If I assume that she’s aged 40, 5’5” and 9 stone, that she ran at 7mph for 2 hours, she would burn 1200 kcal. I’m not sure that the average runner does a 4 hour run each Sunday, unless they are training for a marathon.

AlexaAmbidextra · 15/03/2020 20:42

These threads are always fascinating in that they attract so many who unwittingly demonstrate their own disordered eating by trying to normalise the abnormal.

mynameiscalypso · 15/03/2020 20:44

You are so right @AlexaAmbidextra, I fully recognise that my own eating/exercise patterns are disordered but you get so many people falling over themselves to justify behaviour and attitudes to food that are just so unhealthy.

AndNowItsHappeningInMine · 15/03/2020 20:48

Nothing wrong with offsetting a big meal with exercise.
It was on a discussion on radio 2 last week about the prime time to exercise to offset a takeaway.
It was about 36 hours before, but never mind! 😊

BeijingBikini · 15/03/2020 20:51

There is no way in hell you are burning 2000kcal off in one run, unless it's a marathon!

A run probably burns off about 200 calories. I actually put on loads of weight when I got into running, because I'd get really hungry after and eat about 500 extra calories....

CaptainCabinets · 15/03/2020 20:51

Reporting as I don’t think AIBU is the most sensitive place for this sort of thing and also needs a TW.

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