To have to run so I can eat Sunday roast?

[Jellywormy]

No doubt posters will link this to other threads and be mean, but posting as really upset.

We are going to family for Sunday roast tonight and my husband has just had a go at me and said it’s unhealthy and worrying that I have to go for a run to allow myself to eat Sunday roast.

Am I being unreasonable? I would just feel so anxious if I ate a big meal and pudding without having offset it somehow.

Feeling vulnerable so please be kind

YABU

The OP says: I would just feel so anxious if I ate a big meal and pudding without having offset it somehow. That's the sign her thinking is disordered. It's normal to take exercise as a way of keeping healthy and improving the figure. It's not normal to feel anxious at the thought of having a big meal that hasn't been 'earned' with exercise.

I train extra hard at the weekends so I can eat and drink with relative abandon. I have always done this and don't think it's an issue.

I don't feel anxious about it though.

Op, do whatever makes you happy and relaxed.

I enjoy my Friday night pizza and glass of wine and am totally relaxed about it because I know I’ll run 5k on Saturday morning. But if it snows and I can’t run, I don’t spend the week feeling guilty. It will all even up over the year.

I run a lot because it helps me control my weight without dieting, but I agree that it is concerning if you feel so anxious about it. Easier said than done, but try and be gentle with yourself.

If the only way you can eat the meal and enjoy it is to do the run, then you may have an eating disorder.

If you simply prefer to get in a run on a Sunday because you have the time and exercise is awesome, then you are fine.

If you fall somewhere in between, you may or may not have an issue.

I've got eating issues - I once didn't eat for 11 days. I hated my body even when I was my lightest and underweight. It was all in my head and absolutely nothing to do with my body.

I've allowed my issues to snowball, I wish I had nipped them in the bud. Please speak to someone (even if it's just a friend).

Be kind to yourself. I know this easier said than done (coming from someone who seemingly has it all but is prone to self-hatred and depression)

Also, there are some unkind comments, I wish people would be more sympathetic. A lot of my personal self-hatred comes from the (unfounded) cruel things my mother spat at me when she was frustrated/angry.

I recommend a walk with a podcast/audiobook to redirect your focus .

I think so many seem to be missing the point. It’s fine to exercise to keep a balance with eating. What makes this disordered is the extreme anxiety around it.

When someone asks me why I run, I usually answer 'So that I can EAT!', and hopefully there's some cake or a biscuit knocking about that I can shove in my face at the same time.

OP are you underweight? If not, it's not an issue. You are making sure you balance your calories in v calories out.

To all those saying OP is disordered, are you in the healthy weight range? If not, how do you balance your calories in v calories out?

It's fine to have a weekend run, and it's fine to have a week roast. But if it makes you anxious to have one without the other, it's a problem. Things balance out, you don't need to overcontrol.

A big run won’t offset a roast and pudding but ok

Tosh. Totally depends on the length of the run and the size of the meal.

Burning it off with exercise is no better than bulimia

Tosh. Exercise is good for you and natural and to be encouraged. Forcing yourself to throw up is bad for you and unnatural and to be discouraged.

Purging calories through exercise is absolutely one of the diagnostic criteria for bulimia - bulimia is not just throwing up.

Yes but you can't diagnose bulimia from just that symptom and feeling a need to balance the calories. Otherwise anybody who exercised so they didn't get (or stay) fat would be bulimic.

So long as you haven't got an eating disorder I can't see what the problem is.
I find it much more worrying how much people eat now and the size of everyone.
My DiL is so enormous and has binge eaten so much that she now has late onset diabetes and is on insulin. There is no history of it in her family, it's just lifestyle.
When i eat something like this I eat very little and fill up on veg. I never eat pudding, having formerly been a 20 stoner and having lost a huge amount of weight with bariatric surgery.
I hardly think going for a run is a bad thing compared to that.
Go for your run OP.

OP what would happen if you didn’t do the run but still ate the roast? Would you then restrict other meals or do more exercise the next day? would it play on your mind or would you forget about it?

Ex WW leader/coach here.

Sunday roast is fine, it's neither unhealthy nor necessarily fattening.
Perhaps skip the yorkies, & add more veg.
Fat is fine & necessary, but flour & sugar are the real enemies.

@Eckhart Oh no, I absolutely agree with that but a number of things that the OP has said are red flags of disordered eating (I recognise the signs). Obviously nobody can diagnose based on a couple of posts on MN but that fact remains that many people with EDs use exercise in an unhealthy way. Except it's quite often seen as a 'good thing' because exercise is 'healthy' despite the fact that it might be totally screwing you up mentally. I know I do it - exercising when I shouldn't or excessively or to the detriment of other things in my life. It's not a good thing and I recognise it for that.

Also, for some of the other posters, this isn't really about the nutritional content of a roast. It could be anything.

I would feel the same, OP.

I disagree with those who say a roast is high calorie, though. A couple of potatoes, a bit of meat and some vegetables has far fewer calories than a plate of pasta and sauce. Puddings aren't compulsory (I just don't like them), so you shouldn't feel forced to eat one.

If you're used to exercising, you'd feel fat and sluggish if you didn't do it. Especially if you then had a roast dinner, however small. I don't think there's anything disordered about that.

No. You shouldn't exercise to punish or 'allow' yourself to eat things you want.

You have a issue/disorder with food which isn’t seen as normal. Your husband is right.

@mynameiscalypso We are in agreement. Obviously nobody can diagnose based on a couple of posts on MN

I was concerned about the pp who said Burning it off with exercise is no better than bulimia It's too vast a statement to be made without looking into OP's history in detail, and therefore, um... tosh, in this instance.

It's one thing to enjoy exercise and feel relaxed about splurging a bit occasionally because you know that overall you are healthy, another thing to be worrying so specifically about trying to offset a single, relatively normal meal. We have a roast every Sunday, you don't need to have an enormous portion it can be an ok meal once on a while. You could just have a little pudding (or none).

Imho it sounds like your relationship with food is not good. Food is good. It nourishes us, it provides vitamins, energy, and protein to grow and repair our bodies. Like everything in life its best in moderation. You seem to have lost sight of the positive aspects of food.

What is this 'normal' attitude to diet and eating that people keep mentioning? Is it their own diet? Is it 'what we're supposed to do'?

Most people eat things they know they shouldn't and feel some level of guilt or regret, sometimes. Most people are carrying a bit more weight than they ought. Most people like a drink when they know they shouldn't really.

To all the people saying "a run won't offset a roast". How unhelpful can you be?

In any case human beings need food. A bit of exercise is no bad thing in perhaps offsetting a bit of excess. No one needs to offset the whole meal.

And this is why most of the UK is overweight. You know you're going to have a big meal so you exercise to try and burn some of those calories before. It's not unhealthy it's quite the opposite!