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Original poster

To have to run so I can eat Sunday roast?

169 replies

Jellywormy · 15/03/2020 17:40

No doubt posters will link this to other threads and be mean, but posting as really upset.

We are going to family for Sunday roast tonight and my husband has just had a go at me and said it’s unhealthy and worrying that I have to go for a run to allow myself to eat Sunday roast.

Am I being unreasonable? I would just feel so anxious if I ate a big meal and pudding without having offset it somehow.

Feeling vulnerable so please be kind Flowers

OP posts:
Fi57 · 15/03/2020 18:20

I don’t think there’s anything wrong in going for a run so you can eat more food but with the worry of Coronavirus I would just think sod it and eat everything in sight just in case the world runs out of food!🤔

Sugarfreejelly · 15/03/2020 18:21

Your husband is a dick.

I echo what others have said about disordered eating.

BaronessBomburst · 15/03/2020 18:23

@aroundtheworldyet but why has no-one else picked up on the fact that her husband had prompted this by having a go at her and saying that a roast is unhealthy?
Why is he doing this? The OP's reaction is obviously disordered but why and how is her DH contributing to this? That's a concern too. Possibly a bigger one if he is manipulative/ abusive.

JoshArcherStoleMyTractor · 15/03/2020 18:24

@BaronessBomburst because he didn't, he said it's unhealthy to need to go for a run to be able to eat a roast

Oldestchild90s · 15/03/2020 18:25

@BaronessBomburst I think he's saying it's unhealthy to have to go for a run..

Frenchw1fe · 15/03/2020 18:27

Imo as long as you’re healthy then running so you can eat a few extra calories is not so terrible. Better to be mindful of your diet than be overweight.
It’s certainly no worse than pretending that eating standing up or taking other people’s chips doesn’t count in your daily calorie intake.

mynameiscalypso · 15/03/2020 18:28

The problem is not necessarily going for a run and then eating. The problem is what would happen if you didn't/couldn't go for a run. For the majority of people, I'd wager they'd shrug their shoulders and not think too much about it. For those of us with eating disorders, it's inconceivable. I can't run at the moment but I went for a long swim this afternoon because I had to eat lunch today. I didn't really want to go for a swim and I'm not sure gyms/public pools are the safest place to be right now but neither of those things mattered. I had to go for a swim. That's when it becomes a problem.

BaronessBomburst · 15/03/2020 18:29

Then I am indeed missing the point of the thread. I thought he said that the roast was unhealthy. Blush

BunnytheBee · 15/03/2020 18:29

We are going to family for Sunday roast tonight and my husband has just had a go at me and said it’s unhealthy and worrying that I have to go for a run to allow myself to eat Sunday roast.

To be fair this is not clear as to whether husband said the roast is unhealthy or OP feeling the need to run first

AlexaAmbidextra · 15/03/2020 18:30

but why has no-one else picked up on the fact that her husband had prompted this by having a go at her and saying that a roast is unhealthy?

BaronessBomburst. Probably because that isn’t what her DH said. He said her anxiety about having to run is unhealthy, not that a roast is unhealthy.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 15/03/2020 18:32

I read it as she said she had to go for a run before the meal because of her own anxieties and her husband told her that isn't normal. Otherwise there was no reason for her to mention her anxiety - unless his judgmental attitude makes her anxious but that seems like a leap based on what was written.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 15/03/2020 18:32

@BaronessBomburst, you're misreading what she said.

We are going to family for Sunday roast tonight and my husband has just had a go at me and said it’s unhealthy and worrying that I have to go for a run to allow myself to eat Sunday roast.

My husband has just had a go at me.
He says it's unhealthy and worrying
that I have to go for a run
to allow myself to eat Sunday roast.

He's not saying Sunday roast is unhealthy. He's saying it's a worrying sign that OP feels she can't allow herself a big meal socialising with family unless she's 'earned' it by doing a run.

BogRollBOGOF · 15/03/2020 18:33

Generally moving more to increase metabolism/ calorie burn to allow a more relaxed diet is fine. I'm small, and regular excercise allows me to maintain healthy proportions on a "normal" diet. For me, a sedentary lifestyle would require something looking suspiciously and unjoyfully like a permanent low calorie diet, so regular exercise makes food more fun for me. Running 10 miles might burn XXX calories, but I'll just respond to appetite for recovery, not quantify an allowence of what I can eat. I run 10 miles for the fun, the challenge, training but not specifically food.

Being specific about doing specific quanitites of exercise to "earn" or be "allowed" specfic amounts of food is disordered. (Except possibly for elite athletes with the support of coaches and dieticians)

My school friend was anorexic and quantified all food she ate. 2 biscuits was worth a sandwhich (in her head) but that could be earned by X amount of exercise.
Not healthy.

UsernameUnknownn · 15/03/2020 18:34

You need to speak to someone as you seem way too worried you didn't burn it off properly. I think you have an ED.

HeresMe · 15/03/2020 18:35

A roast dinner mostly isn't unhealthy, all the vegs is very healthy, the meat isn't bad for you particularly, the worst part are the Yorkshire pud and the roast when are fine in moderation.

You seem to have a unhealthy relationship with food that you need to work on.

AlexaAmbidextra · 15/03/2020 18:35

Jellywormy. I think that one of the most telling things on this thread is the fact that of all the responses you’ve received the only ones you’ve acknowledged are those from posters who seem to demonstrate disordered eating.

RedPanda2 · 15/03/2020 18:39

Exercise isn't punishment for eating! You should eat and exercise because you want to, not due to guilt.

ShellsAndSunrises · 15/03/2020 18:39

I swam this morning so that I feel happier eating fiancé’s bajan chicken tonight...

But I’d have been okay if I couldn’t, and that’s the difference. I do it because I’m getting married soon (I hope) and am keeping an eye on my calories, and I don’t want to screw the whole week up by overeating today.

If this is regular for you, then your husband is right, although unhelpful in how he mentioned it to you. Anxiety over not being able to run it off is a worrying sign. Do you have other anxiety symptoms, or is it always food? I’d be making an appointment to talk to someone. If it’s a method of controlling your anxiety, they’ll be able to help you find healthier ways. If it’s an eating disorder, they’ll help you to access services to help.

BunnytheBee · 15/03/2020 18:39

you're misreading what she said.

How many times does this point need to be made

I hope you’re ok OP

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 15/03/2020 18:40

I think he is right, I'm sorry.

I think saying 'I think I'll go for a run and have a healthy morning and have some extra pudding this afternoon' is normal. It's the 'I have to go for a run' and getting anxious if you don't that is worrying. As part of a healthy diet throughout the week, one meal with family shouldn't be making you worried

springydaff · 15/03/2020 18:46

Go to OA. You'll hear your story many times over.

Yes you have a disordered view of food. You're far from the only one 💐

Seasiderabbit · 15/03/2020 18:49

I would feel the same. I think it's fine. I keep a rough balance in my head about what I eat and how much I exercise so I can fit into my clothes and stay healthy. I think that is ordered, not disordered.

Mummyneedsacoffee · 15/03/2020 18:50

How far do you feel you need to run? Just out of interest

Raver84 · 15/03/2020 18:51

I think a bit like that too and don't see the harm. For example if I was going out for dinner I would go for a run, but I would do that most days as I enjoy running. I might do an extra couple of k so I could really enjoy the meal and have a pudding as running makes me hungry. It keeps a good balance for me. I'm a normal weight and size, fit healthy and enjoy treats and nice meals. It's about balance. As long as your happy enjoy your run and your meal.

noworklifebalance · 15/03/2020 18:53

A run is not going to come anywhere close to offsetting a roast, I'm afraid.
Enjoy your roast, enjoy healthy eating and enjoy exercise but you can't negate the food you eat by exercising.