What’s it like being a child from a large family?

[PaulHollywoodsSexGut]

Interested to hear the perspectives of children who have two or more siblings.

DH and I are considering another baby and rather than think about the effect it could have on me and him I’d like to know what it’s like to having two siblings or more.

I’m an only and he’s one of two.

Eldest of six. Absolutely hated it. No privacy, no quality 1-2-1 time spent with parents, no treats as parents were always scrimping and saving.
As I was the eldest I was made to look after my younger siblings frequently, do their nappies, bottles and take them to school as a teenager. I really resented it.
I have 2 DC and would never have any more due to my upbringing.

Yes Lordfrontpaw

Still get asked it now, honestly think people think it's the first time I've heard it!

Never really made sense as a child, compounded by the fact my dad would get rid of the TV regularly and we had no TV at all for periods of time.

Haha! My mum always feigned ignorance and said that she thought all the babies were something to do with coffee.

When my dear sister told me the facts of life (when I was 30 - only kidding - about 6) I said incredulously ‘do you mean mum and dad did that 5 times to get us lot???’. There was a loud guffaw from dad who was passing by the open door.

Five times !

We learnt the facts of life from a hideous book describing special cuddles. At weekends their bedroom door would be locked, and we understood they were having special time

Re your twin concern I'm no 6 but my other half is no 5.

My dmum was in her 40s. Apparently you are more likely to have twins then.

My friend was told that her little sister was ‘an accident’. She had just learned the mechanics of sex and asked her mum exactly how they accidentally did ‘that’.

Eldest of four here. Love all my siblings dearly but personally I wouldn't reccommend it.

Op depending on your age I think childhood/teenage years is a different ball game.

I have four and have to deal with things my parents didn't: social media, university fees, cost of living increased, austerity.

One of mine is now disabled (born without issues) and it has been an absolute nightmare for the siblings. Services are non existent, we have sacrificed my job to keep my partners, we have to wait or fight for most therapy, I have no time for homework or paperwork and we have less income for treats and school trips.

Hate it. My mum just loved having a new baby but not interested in any of us after the infant stage except for her golden child. As a child I had to provide regular childcare to younger dc and I myself was practically brought up by my sister. I didn't receive barely any parental love, care or praise. Am only in contact with my dsis on a regular basis and would have preferred it to have just been us two (with totally different parents as well).
None of us have more than two of our own. Apart from my dsis family I hate family events. They are all either competitive or spiteful.

Well we have 5DC and they're all very close,we have 3 DS's,23,21 and 18 and 2 DD's 16 and 12.

Our oldest 2 are best friends,all 5 of our DC are very very close,they all adore the baby of the family(they're little sister)we've got 1 Grandchild now and he is adored by everyone and being spoiled rotten by his Uncles and Auntie.

I know big families don't always work but then I have friends who have 2DC and they're DC are now grown up and can't stand one another.

@ohtheholidays

The thing is, OP specifically asked for experiences of the CHILDREN who grew up in large families, not the PARENTS.

And it's staggeringly clear that almost everyone hated it. No offence but your children's views are what is wanted here, not how you perceive it.

Scarlett that’s not quite fair. Not everyone hated it but what really stands out is that to raise a big family well you need to be either very dedicated and skilled parents or have the means to reduce stress considerably by hiring in help.

My parents probably think that we all loved growing up with so many siblings too. And to be fair we've all turned out responsible, functional adults. But what their belief actually reflects is that they had neither time nor energy to actually know the inner lives of any of us. So they told themselves a reassuring story.

I'm 1nof 3, my dp is 1 of 3.

We have 3 children together and DP has an older son.

There is 2 years between my elder sisters and 15 months between middle sister and me.

I am close to middle sister but neither of us are close to elder sister however we come together at hard times, like when df died.

My parents managed it well, loft converted when we were early teens so everyome had their own room, enough money that we all had what we needed.

Dp is close to 1 sibling but not the other. Similar age difference between him and his siblings.

Our 3 kids are 8,6 and 5. We had planned on 2 as 3 makes an odd number, like when going to theme parks, eldest dd often ends up sat alone. Hotel rooms and family deals and life in general is built for 2 adults and 2 children.

However we are very glad for DC3 as DC2 is very disabled and as such DC3 and DC1 have each other to have a 'normal' sibling relationship with and although they fight they are incredibly close.

DSS visably hates being 1 of 4, though he was 10 when the eldest was born so was an only child for a lobg time and finds his siblings annoying.

This thread is a real eye opener. Not just my oversized family that’s shit then!

@AlwaysOnAbloodyDiet I'm from a working class background in Ireland and your experience isn't at all like mine. In fact during the recession in the 80s quite a lot of women around our area were the main breadwinners . Very few had cars so who drove wasn't a big issue but certainly lots of women around here drove and yes contraception was available (but obviously not as freely as today)as my own mother was in the pill. Anyway I don't want to derail the thread

One of five and it was horrible. 2 years between each of us. I get on with one sibling and the rest either don’t speak to one another or have very little in common.
No space, no time, no attention. I have two but even questioned whether to have a second because of my childhood. Luckily they are extremely close.
I have friends who are part of a 3 and in each family, 2 siblings get on and the third is almost the black sheep.

@merrygoround51 Scarlett that’s not quite fair. Not everyone hated it

That's EXACTLY why I said almost everyone.

Feeling of having to look after myself, not feeling safe all the time

This is my biggest fear (bar the mega obvious ones) of having “too many” children @HepzibahGreen

Number 2 of 5 & the only girl!
Popped out on a regular 2 year basis.

I was a total Tom boy - not very surprising - despite my moms best efforts.

We are close now - and The best bit is I gained 4 lovely sister in laws and now have a tribe of nieces and nephews. ‘

Would not change it for the world.

In fairness my parents were financially comfortable and we all had our own bedrooms and there was help in the house so my mom did not have some of the stresses other moms may have had.

One of 6 and hated it. My mum clearly couldn’t cope with us all. She was a single parent and she done her very best she was not neglectful or abusive but she certainly didn’t have the time for all of us, made it clear she had favourites. Lived in a 3 bed house and 3 of us shared a room with her till we were almost teens as she gave the older 2 a bedroom each this was before the youngest was born. Don’t get on with any of my siblings much and don’t have contact with 2 of them. My mum never had money and things were very tight.

Only girl of 5 brothers. I hate it. My mum had no idea what to do with a girl and has clear favourites with the boys.
They're always comparing 'I got this and you didn't' or 'You got this and I didn't' etc. It's exhausting, forever trying to navigate relationships. There's always drama, always something going on, Mum's stressed and now favours brothers children over mine so they don't get to see her very much at all.
Whilst it might be good when they're kids, think of the bigger picture. What if all of them end up going through a divorce (or something else) would you be able to emotionally support them? Two of my brothers are currently back at home, one has his child with him. It's so taxing on my Mum because they need emotional and financial support after going through trauma.

One of four. Great childhood. What helped?

1. our house was large and sunny (bedroom each, large playroom).
2. my mother was relaxed and 'skilled' (having been a teacher).
3. we didn't have financial stresses, Dad had a good job but was around in the evenings.

The thing is, OP specifically asked for experiences of the CHILDREN who grew up in large families, not the PARENTS

Yes absolutely - keep it coming

And it's staggeringly clear that almost everyone hated it

Maybe I’m not reading correctly but I’m getting a 50/50 vibe - literally half loved it, the other half not so much.