What’s it like being a child from a large family?

[PaulHollywoodsSexGut]

Interested to hear the perspectives of children who have two or more siblings.

DH and I are considering another baby and rather than think about the effect it could have on me and him I’d like to know what it’s like to having two siblings or more.

I’m an only and he’s one of two.

I have a SIL like that too socalm...

My MIL was one of eight and very vocal about how much she hated it. She's passed away now but the rest of them are still spending their lives bickering and falling out with each other constantly. None of them have more than three children themselves! But you're not talking about a big family, really.

I think a lot also depends on your children's temperament. A big family would have been my worst nightmare as a child. I liked my own space, quiet, time spent just me and my mum. My stepbrother is one of four and the family joke is that he's never got over not being an only child

Our mums (80s babies) had no second car, no career - it was the norm to give up work once married, no disposable income - holidays, hobbies, activities were out of the question for most.

Speak foryourself
1960s baby here. My Mum worked outside the home.

OP I'm the 3rd of 4.
DH is the eldest of 3
We have 3 dc.

Yes, we all squabbled growing up, but we all get on as adults. Not 'in and out of each others lives every day' getting on, but there for each other when needed. Particularly good to have each other when parents our died.

Our mums (80s babies) had no second car, no career - it was the norm to give up work once married, no disposable income - holidays, hobbies, activities were out of the question for most

Surely that's a typo, no one I knew in the 80s was remotely like that, we had our own cars, jobs and childcare, do you mean 50s?

I said 'for most' in working class background/area, in Ireland.
In fact, I'm almost certain that contraception wasn't even available to women

I’m Irish and we had holidays, cars etc. But he’s, a huge family.

I am one of four as is my DH. There is 3 years between 1 & 2 and also 3 years between 2 & 3. A slightly bigger gap between 3 & 4. We all get all most of the time and I loved our childhood. We meet up and I chat with them all the time. My Dh and his siblings are a lot closer in age together, his mum had 4 children under 5. None of them are close and we don’t ever meet up unless a family occasion.

I'm 4 of 6. It was crap!
Absolutely no privacy, fee days out, everything was a shared item. Not enough money or time or room.
My mum is the eldest of 17 so she considered 6 a small family 🤔😀

It all depends on the individual household.

My mother was the youngest of ten by five years (her mum had nine children in fifteen years). As the baby of the family - eldest was twenty years older - she was quite cosseted/spoiled in many ways. She was aware of how hard up the family had been years before and what a hard life her mother had had. Of course they were terribly overcrowded too, there was no privacy. None of them had big families, the most was three children, the others had two or one (I was an only). I don't blame them one bit.

She was particularly close to a couple of siblings and liked well enough those who lived further afield and were not seen that often.

I have known some very big families but the parents were professional people, they were not hard up and lived in big houses so life was easier. Mum and dad seemed to be able to give all the children attention, help them with schoolwork, advise on careers etc. I'm not saying money is everything, of course it isn't but struggling to keep head above water is awful.

Several people living on top of each other, more than two sharing a room, would have been hard, never mind the endless chores and getting tons of washing dry in a confined space in the winter.

Thus busting my belief that the closer in age they are the greater the likelihood they will get on @Livenearhere

In all honesty I don’t think I could handle the anxiety around pregnancy, i wish you could just go to sleep for 40 weeks, wake up and hello baby.

Adulting is so hard.

I can't think of a single family who had a second car. Women didn't tend to drive. Some of my friend's mums would have learned to drive later, in the 90s.
And I clearly am speaking for myself and my own experience, before anyone questions it

I can't imagine life or motherhood was much fun, for many women.

Sorry for completely derailing your thread, OP

My mum never learned to drive.

And in the event of twins yes there would be a space issue, namely that we have bought our house based on the accommodation of 4 kids and us... if that went to 5 we would have to do some inventive space management.

Loved being part of a big family. Both as a child and now as an adult. We had a very happy, busy, loud home.

I have five siblings but with fairly big age gaps, I’m eldest at 32 and youngest are twins who are 18, which I do think helped. It meant that we still had one to one time, a good stint of being the baby and time to build those early bonds and relationships.

I have three and it’s great, it doesn’t feel big either tbh, just right.

I have 3DC, I would class over 4 children a large family. I think a lot of the enjoyment has to do with circumstances, ie. how large the house is, finances and the time a parent/s can offer. For us three is easy and they all have a very good life.

I loved it as a kid.
But as an adult I actually feel lonely and unsupported. My parents are very busy and give us little thought. They have no time for my kids which makes me sad. My sisters rarely contact me, yet profess our closeness. One of them has never visited me since I have left home. She still lives in the town we grew up in, so I go back about 4 times a year. But no effort on her part.

1 of 4 . Also have 4 children. They do have a bedroom each which makes a difference I think.

Only downside growing up was i felt like I didn't get much 1:1 time, so I try to.prioritise that for my children

Probs also helped that we were pretty comfortable, no shared bedrooms, nanny and cleaner which certainly eased the time pressure on my parents (who both worked).

One of seven.

One of us went on to have 3 kids, another has one, I have two the rest have none.

Not one of us would want to recreate the large family, make of that what you will!

I can't think of a single family who had a second car. Women didn't tend to drive. Some of my friend's mums would have learned to drive later, in the 90s

So you're talking about Ireland, is that right? I can't see where you said that, maybe I missed it, but honestly that could not be further from the truth for English women in the 80s, some context would have been helpful. I have to say that I had no idea that things were so behind the times.

4th of 4. Great childhood. Very close growing up and adults. Less than two years between each. Big house, big garden, mum and dad both worked. Plenty of time together. I grew up on a small island though so that made all the difference.

I certainly wouldn't be planning children round free nursery care. With budgets cuts etc and the fact that nurseries don't get recompensed enough for the free funded hours I wouldn't plan on free nursery care always being available.

2nd of five I had far too much responsibility for my younger siblings Physically and emotionally, minimal spare money no holidays not ever I got a job at 13 and had to contribute significantly to my own upkeep and that of my siblings I left home at 17 and never lived at home again my younger sisters did too my eldest brother has one child I have 3 last unplanned sister the same!younger siblings don't have children Youngest siblings wife was a older child in a large family and refused to have kids I resent the hell out of my parents selfish choice to have more children than they could afford While I love my siblings I know they feel the same way! Incidentally I don't know anyone from a larger family who has much positive to say about it unless there was plenty of money and lots of family support even then the older ones are fairly peed off with their parents

One of 6.

Honestly? There was plenty money and we even had sufficient space due to very hard work and savvy planning on the part of my parents. But there was no time, no attention. They were exhausted. We raised ourselves and each other. I didn't get on with the sibling closest to me in age and we fought like cat and dog. I can see the effects on my emotional development to this day - I'm simply not close to them and when I have a problem, my principal thought is how to keep them out of it, not to lean on them for help. I don't expect to be supported or helped by others which has damaged some of my adult relationships. I do enjoy having so many siblings as an adult, but I didn't know what I hadn't got emotionally from my childhood until I saw the security DH (one of two) had that I don't. None of my siblings has more than 3, and 5 of 6 have only one or two.

I'm the youngest of 6.
As I was the baby of the family I was really spoilt by my siblings. We weren't well off but everyone else was the same.
Our house was always busy.
As adults we are all still close.