Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Email embarrassment

114 replies

Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 00:41

Last week, I was on my phone and had 3 conversations on the go.

One was work related.

I accidentally sent a cheery personal, 'Bye, ta and love you' to the work person.

I didn't notice. Nor did he as we carried on with our work related emails without anything being said.

Until now. He sent email reminding me of his official position and said it inappropriate for me to 'declare I love him'. And from now on we could no longer speak directly to each other. I will need to passed over to other members in his team.

I had no idea what he was talking about. Scrolled through my emails, found the offending little bugger of an email, and apologised, saying it was a mistake, very embarrassed, no discomfort meant etc....made a point of saying I hadn't noticed, and apologised again.

I can't do much else, can I ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 00:43

*be passed over to other members

OP posts:
Careersytype · 14/02/2020 00:48

Clearly it was a mistake.
That person needs to take the stick out of their ass.

wobytide · 14/02/2020 00:48

It's a HR issue. He's evidently raised it or been advised. You would be better speaking to your HR rather than him to bring it to a conclusion

Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 01:00

I'm freelance, so no HR for me.

I've reacted as appropriately as I can and accepted his curtailments on our contact.

I'm just so embarrassed.

I went through the emails. It stuck out like a sore thumb. It was obviously out of sync with our other emails, both before and after.

It clearly not part of our conversation.
I've accepted it through.

Can't do much else.

Just feel a bit sick about it.

OP posts:
expat101 · 14/02/2020 01:08

I would make a formal apology along with the explanation and let it go. I'm wondering if its possible his partner has read the email and assumed the worst? Thus the terse reply....

BlueHarry · 14/02/2020 01:12

I'm really surprised he thought that the email was meant for him! Given the fact it was in the middle of work related emails and you clearly don't have that kind of relationship with him, I'd have thought his first guess would be that you'd accidentally emailed the wrong person! I don't think you need to be embarrassed, it just seems so obviously a mistake. His response is really OTT.

Whoops75 · 14/02/2020 01:13

Very unprofessional OP

You could meme a lot of trouble for someone with mistakes like that.

BlueHarry · 14/02/2020 01:14

Has he said anything since you told him that it was an accident and apologised?

Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 01:20

expat101 , I've done that.
I should have taken more time over it, but I was so shocked , I replied ASAP.

I had to phone the office today and it was such a relief when the woman i have had dealings with, picked up.

I acted as normal. So did she.

But I'm still thinking....eh?
It was an obvious mistake.
Even if it wasn't obvious, there are other ways to deal with it.

Ive dealt with stalkers , so I know I can't go back to him.

I'm very surprised. We got on well in terms of work.
We have no clue about each other in a personal sense.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 01:24

I've only had his email and I've not contacted him since.
I couldn't say much else, so I didn't want to make things worse.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 01:26

Yes, it was unprofessional. It was a mistake and I was trying to juggle too much.
I accept that. I didn't realise I'd made a mistake till now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 01:31

He is on different time zone, so I was in middle of personal emails when work stuff came through.

I thought Id deal with it there and then, rather than having it hanging over my head.

Hence the rushed bye, ta and love you conclusion to one of my threads. Or so I thought.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 01:43

@Careersytype - think that was my husband's view too!

I showed him the emails. It took him a bit to cotton on....then he said .....is that it????

Yes, I reply, that's it.

He's a numpty if he thinks that's inappropriate.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 01:45

...was his reply.

It doesn't help though. I feel sick to stomach.

OP posts:
VenusTiger · 14/02/2020 01:48

Can you screen capture the other emails, showing time and date and together with the accidental one you sent to him, explain that you were in fact emailing 3 different people simultaneously

Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 01:52

I could venus but I won't.

When someone tells you to stay away from them, you listen!

OP posts:
Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 01:53

It just seems overkill from his part?

OP posts:
PawPawNoodle · 14/02/2020 02:05

Might be reaching, but could his partner maybe have seen it and asked him why a colleague is telling him she loves him?

Chage · 14/02/2020 02:10

So you haven’t emailed him to apologise, or you have?

You say both things...

Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 02:28

I apologised immediately, once I saw what he was talking about.

I can't keep apologising.....

OP posts:
Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 02:30

I have not returned to apologise further, if that makes sense.

OP posts:
HeadachesByTheDozen · 14/02/2020 02:33

But did you actually explain to him the mistake? Or did you just apologise and that's it? Because he probably thinks you meant it and that's why you apologised. Not that he actually got the wrong end of the stick.

Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 02:47

I explained the mistake. Said I was juggling 3 threads at once and had not noticed a reply to personal friend had gone astray.

He knows the mistake.

But no response.

So , I'm leaving it too.

OP posts:
StarlightLady · 14/02/2020 03:43

What an idiot he is!

I once sent far worse than that and we both laughed it off.

squaky · 14/02/2020 03:49

He probably hasn't responded now because he realises he's been a twat and is embarrassed at his over reaction

Swipe left for the next trending thread