Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Email embarrassment

114 replies

Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 00:41

Last week, I was on my phone and had 3 conversations on the go.

One was work related.

I accidentally sent a cheery personal, 'Bye, ta and love you' to the work person.

I didn't notice. Nor did he as we carried on with our work related emails without anything being said.

Until now. He sent email reminding me of his official position and said it inappropriate for me to 'declare I love him'. And from now on we could no longer speak directly to each other. I will need to passed over to other members in his team.

I had no idea what he was talking about. Scrolled through my emails, found the offending little bugger of an email, and apologised, saying it was a mistake, very embarrassed, no discomfort meant etc....made a point of saying I hadn't noticed, and apologised again.

I can't do much else, can I ?

OP posts:
getyourarseoffthequattro · 14/02/2020 09:06

if i got that email from a bloke at work, honestly i'd think ooh i dont think that was meant for me and get on with my life. If dp for whatever reason saw it i imagine he'd assume the same and not that i was having an affair based on ONE totally unrelated email in the middle of a thread, where it was clear it didnt belong.

Barmy.

Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 09:33

Ta, everybody. Feeling a smidgen less sick now. But the sense of ...omg, what have I done?....will take some time to dissolve, if it ever does.

It was stupid of me and I'm still feeling shit about it. I wish I'd noticed at time, or he had said something at the time. Not for it to be flagged nearly a week later and be couched in such dramatic terms.

I don't think the utter confusion or the subsequent dawning horror will leave me for a long time.
Shock

OP posts:
Jenasaurus · 14/02/2020 09:43

I once sent an email to a colleague saying how hot the guy in IT was, only I sent it to him!

Jenasaurus · 14/02/2020 09:44

weirdly that started a friendship between us but embarrassing at the time

inwood · 14/02/2020 09:46

What a prat.

I've sent emails to clients with xxx at the end. Utterly mortifying, but cutting contact? I work for a large corporate company HR would just laugh at him.

Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 10:31

I've had mishaps before in my other job life and , like others, it was either joked about or ignored, depending on who it was.

I can remember having a very serious and formal email from someone who was known to be very, well, very serious and formal, to be fair.

I was in heaven when I waded through his overly long and dull email to get to ....
P.S. What is my munchkin cooking for dinner?

I replied, You'd better ask Munchkin about dinner, I'll get back to you about the other points.

I got a phone call immediately and he couldn't stop laughing.

Makes me smile even now. Like Jenasaurus, we became friends after that.

OP posts:
ActualHornist · 14/02/2020 10:38

I think you’ve done exactly the right thing OP. Apologise then move on. If it’s ever referred to again, just very matter of factly explain like you have here.

I’d also completely avoid this person, clearly an out of context comment!

(I did similar but by text and sent the kissy emoji! It was a male colleague who is also a friend which made it a bit more suspect from an outside perspective - my follow up was whoops, that wasn’t meant for you - I like you but not that much!)

Beansandcoffee · 14/02/2020 10:41

He is an idiot. We have all done it. I put a kiss on an email to my boss once - we laughed about it. Same as I would do if another professional did the same to me as a one off.

Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 11:42

I've had to tell my client about what happened.
I felt it had to be done in sense of full disclosure.

He listened. Then said....he was joking, right? And you fell for it? And laughed.

I had to again explain. No, he wasn't joking and everything I do now through that office will be delegated to someone else to look at and I will have to talk to someone else on a call.

There was silence. For a long time.

Then he said, ok, if that's how he wants it, then that's what you give him. No need to deal directly with him again.

So, I feel a weight taken off my shoulders. For now.

I have an uneasy feeling that this will follow me around like a bad smell.

OP posts:
nettie434 · 14/02/2020 12:13

I have an uneasy feeling that this will follow me around like a bad smell.

I can only think of one person whose reputation is damaged by this and it is not you Rationalcat

Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 13:55

Ta @nettie434

That's helped.

OP posts:
Travis1 · 14/02/2020 14:14

Yup definitely agree with @nettie434 it's not you that'll have the reputation

SouthernComforts · 14/02/2020 14:20

Glad it's sorted, don't give it another thought. I say that as someone who types penison instead of pension multiple times a day.. I mostly notice before I hit send.

I recently emailed my work email with some personal paperwork I wanted to sneakily print on the work printer. Except I emailed them to my boss. Doh.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 14/02/2020 14:23

Dance a happy dance.

Your client thinks much the same as that early response about the stick.....

StealthPolarBear · 14/02/2020 14:31

It is unprofessional but it's the sort of minor idiocy we've all done.
It's also unprofessional not to be able to identify it and deal with it appropriately - either gentle teasing or "assume that wasn't meant for me" depending on personalities /relationships.
We're humans not hr-programmed robots.

pasmayalabeille · 14/02/2020 14:41

I once send a text meant for my partner who Due back from a work trip to a very distant collègue from another office who was due to work from our office from that afternoon onwards for a couple of weeks. I can’t remember the exact message but it was along the lines of “ so excited you’re back this evening, can’t wait to have a few days together before things get hectic, looking forward to having some alone time with you, what do you want to do this weekend apart from stay in bed, and what do you want for supper this evening, hugs and kisses.”

He was brilliant and just replied - You’re taking the term work wife a bit too seriously don’t you think ...but I’m stuck in my city this weekend with nothing to do, if there is any work stuff I can take off your hand so you can have some more time with your actual husband let me know ever lasting love and affection wink wink”
I think that his was a more reasonable response that your guy - he knew I was probably mortified and just made a joke of it.

I’ve lost count of the amount of times Either I or the person I’m on the phone with hangs up with a “love you,bye” on the phone - it happens - it’s just like calling your teacher mum at school.

He’s a twat.

Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 14:46

I've owned it, and apologised.
I can't do much more.

I could have told him the reason for the ta and why I said love you....
But I consider it enough to say I had 3 email threads on go at once and it was my mistake I didn't check.

I dearly would like to remind him I was doing a favour by getting an answer back so quickly, which I would have done, had I not had such a knee jerk reaction to his official email.

It's done. I can't add to or subtract from the episode.

And neither can he.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 14:49

pasmayalabeille

I love that!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 14:55

And StealthPolarBear has a good point.

If I was on receiving end, I would have glanced over it.
That's the relationship we have.

I would not have brought it up , simply no need.

OP posts:
Bikerider2020 · 14/02/2020 14:57

I've just thought of one....

Young guy who worked at our office, text the boss (male) by mistake and assuming it was his girlfriend some very graphic details of what he wanted to do over the weekend!

Oh how we laughed and laughed!

Poor guy, he hadn't been in the job very long either.

I remember the boss picking up us phone and saying "bloody hell Jim, that's a bit strong", the look on "Jim's" face as he realised what he'd done was never to be forgotten!

Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 14:57

I've canvassed my husband my client, my brother and you lot.

Im beginning to feel better. Thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rationalcat · 14/02/2020 15:00

Now I'm really laughing @Bikerider2020
That is very funny.

OP posts:
Bikerider2020 · 14/02/2020 15:01

@Rationalcat you mean your husband is not getting all his ducks in row over a random email? Get him on MN! Grin

SarahTancredi · 14/02/2020 15:05

Oh God haven't we all accidently done similar?

Put a kiss at the end of a text forgetting it's your manager and not your mate etc

As long as it washt part of an ongoing pattern that had me concerned I'd have ignored and figured it was an accident. Laughed it off etc.

How ridiculous

MoltonSilver · 14/02/2020 15:09

Its such an extreme reaction that it makes be think that maybe he has had or seen hr problems with being over familiar and is anxious not to be near a whiff of controversy again. You'll never know why he had such an extreme reaction but it's not really about you.