Dinner guest who won’t eat homemade food

[AnneLovesGilbert]

We’ve got a friend and his partner coming for dinner soon, this is the first time we’ll meet her. She doesn’t eat homemade food at other people’s houses so he suggested a takeaway or ready meals. We can’t go out as we’re rural as there isn’t anywhere close enough and we have a baby.

We love having people over and both really enjoy cooking so I don’t how to approach it. Money is a bit tight and we can only get takeaway from one place. If we got ready meals should I check what they like first? Would providing nibbles before the meal be okay if I open the packets in front of them?

Any advice?

and they’ll decide on the day if they can come

WTF?! So, you'll go to all the trouble of preparing a meal, getting ingredients in, getting her a ready meal and then they'll decide if they turn up or not?

Wow. Just wow. How unbelievably rude. Whether she has food aversions or not is irrelevant- this is seriously entitled and rude behaviour. You dont expect someone to host you- buy all the stuff then casually drop in that you might not show up. Well rid of them, OP!

A bit weird but not unheard of and I guess she has anxieties.

I’d phone him and say I was going to cook X with Y for pudding — will DP be able to eat this or should I get some m&s pizzas, salad and magnums for dessert?

Then leave it with him. She might just need to know what’s being served in advance.

I’d have to know why! If it’s hygiene - how can she trust a bloody takeaway? If it’s allergies - ditto!
Another vote here for tell her to bring what she likes and you’ll hear it.
Make sure that you have a scrumptious homemade dessert and give her a yoghurt or a mr Kiplings slice of bland.

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Bozlem80

I actually can’t eat homemade food cooked by other people, in fact I can’t even eat sandwiches/toast made by my DH I have an awful gag reflex, I think it started from going to my great grandmother’s house as a kid & she wasn’t the cleanest, she had a parrot & dog, the house stunk of trill & wet dog & it really would turn my stomach, I also had a friend whose dog would go in the fridge & eat the sandwich meat, then there is my MIL who would let her cat lick the butter from the butter dish & I saw her once pick off mould from the bread she was serving us

That’s interesting - My friends DD is the opposite, she doesn’t trust herself at all to be clean enough (she washes her hands raw and showers 4/5 times a day) so she will only eat what her BF or DM prepare, and yet she’ll eat a takeaway where she can’t see the kitchen or if the cook has ever had a wash!
Out of interest would you eat a takeaway?

Talk about fussy, can't be an allergy or hygienic issue if she's willing to have a takeaway.

She is obviously a total nut job, so just give her Tesco cheap lasagne and frozen chips and sauce. She can have a tin of rice pudding for afters.

MimiLaRue

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NOT ENGAGED ENOUGH YO READ WHOLE THREAD

It's not rude but it is inconvenient.

There may be any number of reasons, I know someone who's IBS is so bad they have a very restrictive diet.

You crack on, this person can bring their own food.

Did your friend tell you the reasons why she won’t eat homemade food, normally most people are the opposite and don’t want takeaways.. I would feel horrible if I was her bringing her own food. I am not very patient with fussy eaters.. I ate anything and feel frustrated when everyone wants a takeaway and not enjoy a nice cooked meal. My Dad is a chef and gets really cross when he has cooked a nice meal for everyone. 🤭😵

Annalovesgilbert you are not being unreasonable.. 👍

THEY AREN'T COMING NOW

Cancel the cheque

You should encourage him to still come over .... suggest it... if they don’t live together or even if they do ..he’s not a prisoner...and can surely socialise with an old colleague alone on one night!
( then you can find ou all about his new gf😉)

It sounds weird to some but she may have OCD or something similar. I think I’d rather someone be outright than come and turn their noses up. I would do as they asked and so ready meals. They may tell you why when they’re at yours, yo can decide then whether to invite them again?

She possibly has some sort of mental health problem which leads to her not eating home cooked food for anxiety reasons. Surely you can ask her partner what ready meals she likes, thereby giving fair warning that you'll not be ordering in/going out to eat?

Just missed the post they aren't coming now! Congrats, lol

Just a thought.

Cook the food that you have in mind. Set aside a portion for her, let it cool down and when cooled wrap in cling film. When she arrives throw it in the micro, bingo, it is a ready meal.

If she refuses then send her to bed like a bold child.

Absolutely ridiculous!! An adult !! This is what happens when children aren’t made to eat proper dinners, they turn into ridiculous fussy adults!

My sisters ex boyfriend was like this and when we went to my parents for roast my dad bought him microwave burger and chips! I was outraged! It’s feckin rude.

He started coming to mine every second Sunday with my sister and I told him if he’s coming he’ll have to eat roast. So he asked for one without veg, just had a pile of meat, mash and roasties. I accepted that because it was at least the same as us, although my children were expected to eat their veg.

I would say exactly what you said to us ‘ we can’t afford takeaways, no where delivers around here and don’t really want to have to drive out’ I’m going to cook this and if you let me know what microwave meal she wants i’ll get it.

I can’t honestly believe it 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

One of my pet hates can you tell lol 😆

Make a delicious 3 course meal full of flavour and serve her a ready meal from Iceland £1 and a roll . Keep i5 in the container but put it on the plate with a paper doily

As long as someone warns me in advance, I take a sanguine view. I'm more irritated when people don't tell me what they don't like (even when asked) and then turn their nose up. Worse still are people who bring someone along who is a "food wrong" and don't let you know.

@Befairnow

Exactly!! How are you going to get through life like that! What about when she has children! They’ll be a ridged as her and so the cycle goes on!

I think this is so rude. Like what has already been said, take-aways are homemade food, cooked in a kitchen then served to you!! For a start, she shouldn't have accepted the invitation. You can't accept what is being offered then dictate what you will receive. How old is she... 10? I would have no qualms in telling them that you will be cooking all the food yourself and suggest that she brings her own. She has already set the atmosphere to negative. Don't invite them again.

Have you any foil dishes?

If so, cook using them!

We save up the good.ones for Christmas and.ither.times we don't want to fuss over the tins! So when you get good tins you could wash up, we do.

Christmas gone, bar the saucepan for gravy cz and the dish for microwaving the peas, all we did was wash the plates, etc. Last year we had roasted beg, in the foil of course!

If you have some foil tins do a pie or similar, a couple foils for dauphinoise potatoes, tinned marrowfat peas

Pudding do a bread pudding and custard. Or something???

It maybe that her mum couldn't cook, so her experience of home cooked ain't great?

Being.someone who was litterally force fed veg as a kid (the good old 70s children's homes!) and now can't eat "normal" veg.

Also if you have some old dirty foil dishes, screw them up and put in the bin, to make it look like you bought it.

It might be something that's mentall with her, so be kind, and see how.you can help your son, help her to get over it.
... If it turns out, her experience is just bad cooked home food, break her in slowly. If it's deeper, she may need.professional help.

To all the ignorant ... Fuck her, she an adult, force her to eat normal.

You haven't a clue why someone is like that could and is most probably a mental health issue.

I know, I can't eat veg cos of the scars of childhood.

It seems odd to most people but not to her she has a phobia, buy her a ready meal (Aldi, Morrisons) and cook for the rest of you , don't make a big deal of it, it's just the way she is, open the snacks in front of her, put a little spoon in with them, and enjoy your evening!! 😋

@Bozlem80

So don’t you think it’s time you looked at this ? As a child you were put off, but you’re adult now and can see that not everybody will let their cats lick the plate, I don’t think there many people that would be happy about that, it’s an irrational fear and unfounded now you are a rational adult surely?