If you kept your surname, what about your children?

[MonsteraCheeseplant]

Just that really. Assuming that you are not Spanish, and that you are married to your spouse, but you have different surnames. Double barrelling is the obvious solution but if you each have three syllable surnames it's not really acceptable is it?

My husband threw a massive strop until I gave in and gave the children his surname. I still regret it and the eldest is 8.

We have the dream marriage otherwise but he would not move on the surname issue. He doesn’t give a hoot that I kept my name but he wouldn’t agree to any surname for the children except his. Wouldn’t even double barrel. Wouldn’t discuss.

Normally I “wear the trousers” but this is an issue that he ‘won’ and I’m still bitter.

We should have double barrelled.

They’ve got his surname, and one of my 2 surnames as a middle name.

I didn’t particularly fight to have them have my name as I’m not that fond of it. His is a nicer name. (Not enough for me to change my name though).

My surname is a first name surname, think Morgan and Mason, so it's his middle name, bit masculine for a girl, but if we do have a daughter it's happening...

DS has both our surnames, not double barrelled, just next to each other.

He has DH’s. I wanted to double barrel but they didn’t work at all. I have no relationship with my dad and didn’t want him to have the satisfaction of thinking DS had his name. Very close to all of DH’s family so it seemed right.

My kids have my husbands surname but part of my surname (it's double barrelled) as their second middle name

I'm not going to have a completely different surname to my kids, that ain't happening.

Double barrelled. They don't go particularly well together but it's ok. I fully expect they might drop one last name when they're older (fine, it's their name) and I expect it'll be mine as my husband has the nicest name.

Imo the children have a right to both your names.

We double barrelled because we felt it was the only truly fair way

We double barrelled.

I wanted them to have my name, but DH wouldn't budge, one of the few proper arguments we ever had Now both DC have DH's last name, and my last name as middle name.

She has DP's surname (we're not yet married but I'll keep my name when we do). Doesn't feel like a big deal to me. My mum kept her name when she married my dad and it never had any impact on our childhood.

There was a thread on here a while ago when a poster mentioned that it’s traditional for children to take the mother’s name (it’s just that traditionally, the mother had already taken the father’s name in marriage). That was a bit of a revelation for me - so obvious once it was pointed out, yet everyone thinks it’s tradition to take the father’s name. 50, 60 years if a baby was born out of wedlock, no way would they have taken the father’s name - it would have brought shame on his family. Just thought that was worth pointing out!

My kids have my surname. Why not? Why always the mans?

I wanted them to have my name, but DH wouldn't budge, one of the few proper arguments we ever had

There have been a couple of similar comments. Just shows what a deeply patriarchal tradition this is, despite all the 'Oh my husband's name is nicer/less difficult to pronounce/more exotic etc.' Almost no man would ever even consider taking his wife's name, no matter how 'nice' it was.

I'm not married yet but won't be changing my name when we do and our kids have my surname only.

All 3 of mine have the same mum and dad. The 1st & 2nd have my surname and i was massively bullied into giving the 3rd his surname. I had PND after a traumatic birth so really wasnt myself at the time

I think he thought it would make me change the eldest 2 so they all had his name. I didnt and im preparing things to go to court to change my youngest surname to match the rest of us

Absolutely gutted he made me do it, if my children had different fathers i dont think it would bother me but the fact their all siblings and dont match doesnt sit right with me at all

I changed my name when I got married (regretfully). After we separated I changed my daughters name so it's double barrelled with my married name and my maiden name.
No way am I changing my name back and not having it as part of hers.

We aren't married yet but DS has DP's surname. To be honest, it never even occurred to me to give him my name. From the moment he was conceived, he was always "Baby DP's Surname". He does have a nicer surname than me, though!

My kids have my surname. Husband is thinking about changing his name but it’s been 7 years so I suspect he won’t.

There was no drama over names. We were both happy to keep our birth due names, but I said I wasn’t giving birth to kids who didn’t have same name as me. Husband was fine with it. His dad was not, which is probably a factor that helped husband be ok with them having my name!

We just gave them both surnames.

*birth surnames. (Not due names. Doh.)

Not me but my mum - she kept her name but my brother and I got my dad's. I would have liked to have my mum's surname tbh, but mostly because it's far more elegant sounding than mine/my dad's.. I'm glad they didn't double barrel - that would have sounded awful!